Music

On Friday, the Musician's high school had the privilege of hosting a Drum Corps International competition. For all the band students at my daughter's high school, it was a great opportunity to see these Corps, as Drum Corps International features the very best brass and percussion corps in the country. The Corps practice perhaps twelve hours a day in the heat of the summer, and when they are not performing or practicing, they are on a tour bus or sleeping on a gym floor. The bands also feature a color guard, dancers who moved flags or twirled batons, sabres, ribbons or wooden rifles, who work very hard as well. There was so much activity going on on the whole football field, that you couldn't take everything in at once. It was also fun to watch the judges, who literally get right into the competition. There were eight different judges, each rating one portion of the presentation. Judges follow the band around the field, talking into a recorder to preserve their observations in real time. One judge who particularly stood out was tall and stocky, and was the one who wove the most in and out among the musicians, gesticulating wildly with one arm. It must be very hard to face forward and maintain your composure while a judge is ducking under your tuba!

Have you seen any of the videos where two songs are mashed together? Like Thunderbusters? Well, the DCI corps Music City out of Nashville, Tennessee, presented a program called Phantom of the Grand Ole Opery. Somehow they managed to weave in Ring of Fire and the theme song Phantom of the Opera, then Your Cheatin' Heart and Music of the Night. They also played Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This), Point of No Return, Stand By Your Man and All I Ask of You. The male color guard members wore Phantom style half-masks for most of their performance. I couldn't help but think how hot it must have been to wear those.

All the DCI groups had some kind of "theme," although some of them were more obvious than others. The thing I noticed most about the 7th Regiment out of New London, Connecticut, was the drum major. With a fu manchu mustache, large but well built, he looked like he could be a bouncer during the rest of the year. With the Vanguard Cadets out of Santa Clara, California, the theme was Heroes and Legends, and we got a beheading(!).

It was a fun night if you enjoy marching bands (minus the woodwinds.) If nothing else, the work that the kids put in should definitely be appreciated.

Eat Mor Chikin

As you can probably guess, I went to my local Chick-Fil-A today and picked up some yummy food. I passed by about half an hour earlier, and the line of cars was spilling out into the street. By the time I got back, there were no cars in the street, but there was still a line of cars completely around the building before even getting into the drive-thru line. And there was a long line of people around the building, who were smiling, happy and enjoying hanging out.

It was nice knowing that we who value First Amendment speech are not alone. As I pointed out to my daughter on the car ride home, it is not just Christians who need to worry about losing their freedom of speech. In this case, it was.

I'm sorry I can't write anymore right now. I'm finding it really hard to concentrate lately. More about that later.

Maryville, Missouri

I wanted to blog about our trip to Missouri in a series of posts in order of when we did what, but I'm still not interested in writing about our first interesting stop on the trip, which was Antique Archaeology, home of the American Pickers show, seen on the History channel. So for now, I'm going to skip straight to our destination, Maryville, Missouri.

Unfortunately, Maryville, Missouri was... boring. I was hoping to find some yarn stores or some fabric/quilting stores, but there weren't any. There was the Mozingo Lake Park and Golf Course, but I don't fish or play golf, and it was too hot to do any walking. We had the additional misfortune of hitting Maryville right when the big heat wave swept the Midwest.

Actually, Maryville is in rather sad shape. It has three large employers: an enormous Kawasaki engine plant, Northwest Missouri State University, and a jail. However, there were many empty storefronts in the city square, and there were two burnt-down restaurants and a vacant lot where it looked like something had been torn down. The one restaurant seemed to be in the process of rebuilding, but the other one was just there. No indication that it was going to be rebuilt and reopened anytime soon. It's sad that even with employment in the area, it has still felt the effects of the recession.

One interesting thing about the prison compound, there was an enormous church inside the fence, and one of the other buildings looked like it could have been a school building at some point. Mr. BTEG and I wondered if it could have been a regular church and school before becoming part of a prison.

At least the main part of our trip was successful. The Dancer and the Musician got lots of Law and Gospel, learned a lot about the faith, made new friends and got to hang out with old friends they hadn't seen since last year. Is it silly to say that seeing so many kids greeting each other after a long time apart, seemed almost like a foretaste of heaven?

And Now, We Recuperate

Just got back from four days spent in Missouri at the latest Higher Things conference. Higher Things is an organization that teaches the Lutheran faith to young people. It is a great organization. This was the Musician's fourth year, and now that the Dancer has been confirmed, she was eligible to attend as well. We attended the conference in Missouri because the Musician already has a large number of friends from previous conferences that were going to attend this one. Because we didn't know anyone else from our area who was attending, Mr. BTEG and I drove the family to Missouri and stayed in a hotel while the girls were at the conference. As a result of the heat wave and the fact that there turned out to be not much of anything to do in Maryville, Missouri, our side of the trip was rather uneventful, but the girls learned a lot, had a lot of fun, and made even more new friends. It does feel good to be home, especially after pulling an all-nighter to get home from Missouri without booking yet another hotel room. More posts will follow about the trip!

Belated Fourth of July post

I hope all of you that live here in the States enjoyed the Fourth of July celebrations yesterday. I know a lot of us are concerned about losing freedom, but at least we still have a chance to work toward restoring this country as our Founders envisioned it. Or do you think an amicable divorce of the United States might be in the works? Do you think that might be feasible?

How do you celebrate the Fourth? When I was a kid, like Karen's family a carnival came to my hometown, and still does, every year. We would buy the all day wrist string and ride the rides all day long. At night would be the fireworks over Lake Erie. We would sit in the large grassy area across the street from the carnival area with our blankets and chairs and watch the show. Somewhat unenjoyable was the way the loudest fireworks would echo off of the middle school building behind us.

When my own girls were young, my cousin and her kids, about the same age as mine, would come and visit her parents in the Wooster area, and my mom, sisters and families, and my family, would be invited for the Fourth. What was especially nice was that my aunt and uncle lived in a neighborhood with a private lake, and they had a boat, plus we had swimming and playing in the sand with the little ones. I never tried waterskiing or tubing behind the boat, but I did like riding in it. My cousin's husband, formerly in the Navy, was especially fun to ride with. After driving an aircraft carrier, he could make being in my uncle's little boat rather exciting. Now my aunt and uncle have moved to Virginia to be closer to my cousin and her family and those days are just memories. It's a shame my kids can't see their second cousins more, as they are a lot closer in age to them than they are to their first cousins. My Musician and my cousin's oldest son are just a few months apart.

My family has yet to create any new tradition for our Fourth of July celebrations since, but these are the years of flux, as my teens start getting involved in their own activities more and more. I wonder what will develop next!

Is This Real?

First thing, let me admit that I am a fan of some of the dolls produced by Robert Tonner. As Mr. BTEG can tell you, I do have quite a few dolls, and a good proportion of those are Tonner dolls. He has recently branched out into Tonner Toys, dolls which are more for children than for adult collectors, although collectors are also displaying an interest. And while I wish the company success, I hope you can also see the humor (and some dismay) in two of the company's first offerings.

The first is Maudlynne McCobb. Say that name out loud. Yes, Tonner is continuing his interest in the dark, the gloomy, even the supernatural side of life. As long as that supernatural is ghosties and ghoulies and things that go bump in the night. Maudlynne was inspired by characters such as Wednesday Addams, and she does have a mournful attractiveness, but what struck me was the end of her online bio. "Maudlynne was home-schooled for most of her life until her parents noticed her peculiar nature and decided it was time for her to socialize a bit more with regular kids." Do you see a bit of stereotyping there? I do. Believe me, there are "irregular" kids everywhere. And will Maudlynne become more "normal" by socializing with "regular" kids? Homeschoolers, what do you think?

One of their other lines is well-meaning, but in this present culture, I find it more humorous than anything else. This line of dolls is the City Girls. "Freshly matriculated from college, these fresh, young and energetic ladies are all ready to take on the world and follow their dreams. Whether at work, a networking function or just out for a night on the town, they’re ready to dazzle and shine!" They may have decided to follow Nancy Pelosi's advice about choosing a career to follow their dreams, but the way things are nowadays, I think the next dolls in the series should be the OWS dolls, freshly matriculated from college with a mountain of debt. Accessories could include a dish of paté (pesky homeless person not included) and a bag of feces. Deposit it on a police car or just leave it lying around the tent city you can create for your OWS dolls! At least Mummy and Daddy can cover your health insurance until you're 26, in case you pick up an STD during a furtive fumble in that cute guy's tent.

Seriously, shouldn't we be getting over the idolization of the "Career Woman"? I do think it's fine for women to work, but I'm tired of the "Glamor Job" being held up as some sort of ideal. How many men do you know that have a job, or even a career, that holds any sort of glamor? Sitting in a cube farm, riding around in a truck all day delivering mail, cutting lumber at the home improvement store, stocking groceries -- none of these are glamorous, and I doubt anyone dreamed about someday performing these tasks, but as Thomas Sowell points out, what academia considers "menial" work is also necessary work, and "Some people take justifiable pride in working to take care of their families, whether or not the work itself is great." I think being making enough money to support oneself, and being able to support your children, may not being as exciting as taking on the world and following your dreams, but in the long run it's probably much more realistic.

Still Here

Wow, I have really been neglecting this blog lately. I need to step it up again, because I really don't want to quit blogging. It seems to have become very passé to blog, in a world of people who hop onto the latest new thing and then move on to the next trend within a few months, but blogging as a whole is still very necessary. Bloggers are still the New Media, and they are a way for issues, concerns and debates to occur which would never otherwise see the light of day. Yes, Twitter is making quite a stir, but sometimes there are things that can't be said in 140 words or less. And while I am definitely not an outstanding blogger in the field, everyone is allowed to enter the debate. Don't expect to go unchallenged, but don't be quiet if you can support your words.

Right now, I'm a mom whose life is still rather wrapped up in her family. My marriage is always important, and yes, my kids are older, but they still need someone to support their interests, to drive them to activities and friends' houses, and most importantly, to listen to them. I was brought up in a rather sheltered environment, so I have no idea what the "old days" were like, but today it seems rather unusual for a kid to not be dealing with parental divorce, or parental drug or alcohol use, or some kind of parental abuse, or parental suicide, or to be using drugs or engaged in free and easy sexual activity, or even considering suicide themselves. And we live in one of the "good" suburbs. Not only do my children need parental support for themselves, they need someone to talk to when someone they know cuts himself, or loses a parent.

Besides which, I enjoy being with them! I like hearing about what they are doing now and what they want in their future. I am transitioning to more time spent on me, and on wife-husband time, but I also want to not fritter away the years before my children set out on their own lives. Despite feeling the weight of hitting midlife, I do still have a lot ahead of me. Right now, my family still takes up a lot of it.

School Rules

I was glad to see Mitt Romney come out with a strong position on school choice. He's not my dream candidate, but he's not a socialist, and I think he could definitely improve the economy, which honestly is my biggest concern right now. If we have to worry about food and clothes and medicine, I don't have much energy for much else. As far as school choice, I am in favor of parents being able to spend whatever school monies they are entitled to, on the school of their choice. Or be able to keep it themselves if they homeschool. Of course, I think this shouldn't come with any sort of government strings. You takes your money and you chooses your school. I can also understand a desire for school accountability, when we have kids graduating from schools, who can't read or do basic math. I think our current system of trying to make sure all the kids in school actually learn, is probably fatally flawed. But then I think it should be more locally accountable, and not federally. But the subject is too complex and I don't have enough experience to go into it more deeply than that.

Trouble in Blogger Land

So, I'm not sure if I need to migrate my blogs over to a Google account, or what. When I go directly to Blogger on my Google account, I am told that I need to migrate, although supposedly that is only if you haven't used your blog since 2007, so I'm not sure. ? When I try to login to do a switch using my current (old) login info, I am told that account does not exist. However, the email account is the one that is currently linked to this blog, according to Google, and I changed the password to make double sure that I had the correct one. Not sure what is going on, but I am frustrated. I have thought about migrating my blog to another format, but I am hearing Wordpress and Typepad users currently complaining about their blog hosts also. If my blog disappears after May 30th, you'll know what happened.

Enjoy the Silence

For me, one of the best things about being a stay-at-home mom is the deep silence that can be found when the kids are at school. The only noises I can hear right now are birds singing outside, the snoring of one of our cats soundly asleep on the couch, and the hum of some sort of motor outside. It sounds like someone is getting carpets cleaned or something similar. I suspect only an introvert can enjoy so much quiet on a daily basis, but I think we all need a little peace and quiet at times, to think our own thoughts, make plans and dream dreams.

Marking Time

On Sunday the Dancer was confirmed. Yet another milestone for the Evil Genius family. Lots of extended family was there for the event, and three families of confirmands got together to serve a lunch to our families. I'm very proud of the Dancer and glad that she has been received into our church!

It's All Relative

I'm getting so tired of the idea that I must somehow be able to "relate" to people who are running for office. Especially since, who could I probably be able to relate to best? Bipolar people! Let's run somebody who's mentally ill for president -- that's a GREAT idea!

I also like pets. We've always had cats as they fit our lifestyle better. Hmmmm. The last president to have a cat as a pet was Clinton. And the cat got dumped on someone else as soon as they left the White House. So, scratch that.

I'm a mom, but I don't want to see a president wearing mom jeans ever again!

I'm terrible at sports, but I would like to have a president who doesn't totally embarrass himself throwing out a first pitch. On the other hand, I really don't care what the president's ESPN basketball picks are.

Which reminds me, I also do not want to see any more presidents or first ladies on any reality shows, awards shows or sports shows. You know what's reality? Unemployment, high gas prices, massive inflation.

Step It Up

It's not just politics being inserted everywhere that is annoying me. Unfortunately, many of the places I've come across people inappropriately inserting politics are places run by, or mostly populated by, kids or young adults. I'm not going to be a total curmudgeon and say that these children should be seen and not heard. But if they want to be taken seriously, they need to up their game. One Tumblr blog owner has started another blog dedicated to what a "rich jerk" Romney is. I'm sure Romney is trembling with fear that the blogger is going to call him a "big fat poopie-head" next. Seriously, how is Romney any less rich, in the big picture, than the grandson of a bank executive, who had a nanny as a child and went to a private school in Hawaii. Who had pretty fancy digs in Chicago, from what I've been told. Whose wife thinks $200 will only get you "a pair of earrings." Who is currently sending his own daughters to an upscale private school. And who behaves very much like a jerk to people who disagree with him. Just look at this great fisking of the little gem that the president gave us yesterday. We can't have an honest discussion of the facts. No, Republicans want to pollute the water, crash planes, kill firefighters and push Grandma off the cliff.

When the incumbent president has once again disabled credit card verification on credit card donations, maybe it's a good thing the guy the Republicans are running is rich. He can use some of his own money to back himself when he doesn't get a contribution from "Adolf Hitler."

Dialing It Down

I am absolutely sick to death of politics. Or, I am sick of everything, everywhere, throwing in politics. I would like to be able to visit a doll board, or a vintage fashion blog, and not have to read about politics. Mostly, the political speech is frightened lefties, which makes me laugh, in the long run. We had the eeeeeevil President Bush for eight years, and did he do ANYTHING that the hardcore lefties projected onto him? Not really. In the long run, he disappointed the right about as much as anything else. Although listening to public figures blaring in the media about how they had lost their freedom of speech was pretty precious.

Certainly, there are social conservatives out there, or socons, who would like to pass very totalitarian rules about sex and alcohol and divorce and etc. There are also people like Alinsky who would like to put people like me in a camp. The socons who are that restrictive are a very small portion of the population, just as, honestly, the Alinskyites are. It's very unfortunate that an Alinsky disciple happens to be in power, but I don't think even all socialists would go so far as to put people in camps.

You see, even though I am a strong socon, I also happen to be a strong ficon, and I'm also big on being left alone. In the long run, politics IS really all about power, but it's as much whether the people have it or the government has it, as who in the government has it at the moment. The more power the government has, the less power I as an individual have, and I will always fight against that state of things. I will admit to being against abortion, because I view it as murder, and because it is, as socons predicted, leading towards euthanasia policies for the elderly, those who are not perfect physically or mentally, inconvenient children who will force you to shop at Costco, or even perfectly viable infants. Other issues, I don't really care about, AS LONG AS you pay for it or deal with the consequences of it yourself. It is not a hardship for you to pay for your birth control if your insurance carrier does not provide it. As a conservative, I would say, go find some other insurance carrier that does. My family has gone through some difficult times. We are going through some difficult times right now, actually, thanks to Obamacare. But we look to ourselves and not the government to help us through. Getting rid of some of the rules and regulations we are forced to live under would help us even more.

So there you are, an Evil Genius' view of the political world. I put it here, because this is my space, and politics is one of the things I choose to discuss here. I won't bring it up on my doll blog (such as it is) or in forums that are not political. Unless you bring it up first. Then, I am working to sharpen my political Breitbart. It seems to be a skill that is more and more required.

Zzzzzz

It is truly a day of rest at Casa del Evil Genius. We're all quite worn out, and just trying to recover for the start of the work week tomorrow. Being a Christian, I have answers for the questions such as the purpose of life, but sometimes even those answers seem meaningless. It's a strange way to feel. Perhaps only people who suffer from depression can understand the feeling that life itself can feel like a burden.

Browser beware

While cruising the Web discovering new blogs and webpages to feed my vintage fashion addiction, I am coming across some very frustrating mistakes as well. In the main, these involve the mis-identification of people, royalty, specifically. The worst part, is that some of these kids, especially those with Tumblr blogs, don't really seem interested in correcting mistakes, so the false information is going to keep sitting out there for many other people to pick it up. And since members of royalty are historical figures, I hate to think about what incorrect history we may end up with. I suppose that's just a by-product of letting anybody add his two cents to the pool of available information, especially on places like Wikipedia, where I saw some misleading information just today. I guess for the wise Internet viewer, the best motto to take is Browser Beware.

Trending

Last night at one of my daughter's dance classes, I discovered that two out of the five girls that attend the class are "homeschooled," that is, they attend an online school. However, neither choice had anything to do with quality of education. One attends because she had some sort of problems with other students at her school. Her older sister is still at the same high school that she was attending.

The other girl does online school, I am fairly certain, because her parents are very strict Jehovah's Witnesses. This girl was not allowed to dance to "Monster Mash" at the dance school during the Halloween season, so I imagine that going to public school might have been awkward for her.

I wonder if the biggest growth in learning at home is going to be these online schools. I know many people who are intensely committed to teaching their children at home, themselves, but many of the parents I see would never have the interest in doing this. And to be honest, of the many people I know who homeschool, many have children who have some sort of learning difficulty or disability. Sometimes I wonder if too many people change "homeschool is great for my kid" into "homeschool is great for every kid" far too easily.

Of course, one of the things that makes me wonder about learning at home is the level of brokenness I have seen now that my daughters are attending public school and they know so many kids. Going way beyond things like divorce, too many parents are dealing with problems in their own lives, sometimes in unhelpful ways. I was blessed enough to be able to work around my own issues, for the most part, when my kids were little, but it's not always possible. At least charter schools and online schools are getting parents to think outside of the public school box. Options are always good.

Abundance of Riches

Here's something positive! I am concentrating more and more on my love of vintage fashion, and indulging this interest is so much easier to do now than it would have been probably even ten years before. There is an abundance of antique fashion plates, old photographs and even pictures of vintage clothing online, so that I can do research from my own home. No need to be near a big-city library and scroll through endless microfiche, or sit in a basement going through dusty old reference books. I probably would never have been able to see vintage clothing that was up for sale, before the internet. Someday, I would still like to take some classes in vintage fashion, but until then, I can learn and study a lot on my own.

How has the increase in the frequency and availability of media helped you enjoy something in your life? Here's another example: today one can watch even preseason baseball games on television. Interviews with players and managers, details about trades, it's all so much easier to find out things and watch things happening than ever before.

Laughing at the World

I was severely shocked and saddened by the death of Andrew Breitbart. I am not a big name in the conservative blogging world (or any world, actually) but I admired his ability to take hate and deflect back humor. I can be pretty funny in real life, but putting it down in pixels is not always easy! I do want to bring out more on my fun-loving, happier side. Of course, this may also bring out more of my snarkier side as well. You have been warned!

Winter Blues

I've been struggling to stay awake, stay energized, stay focused. Overall, this winter has been better than others of late, but at last the shorter days and not so much sunlight have taken their toll. I've been playing around with the Vitamin D and just get through the days as best I can. At least March will be here soon.

We Must Obey God Rather Than Men, And We Will

So said the president of the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod, Rev. Dr. Matthew C. Harrison, today at a House Committee hearing.
I am glad that my church body was represented this morning, but I am cynically afraid that it will not do much good. We already know that the beliefs and the alliances of the left do not understand, much less align with any religious conviction. Indeed, I firmly believe that most of the members of our government only align their thoughts and beliefs with the acquisition and use of power. Still, those of us who have a conscience, and have Christian faith, must not be ashamed to let those temporarily in power on this earth know where we stand.

Worn Out

I've been worrying way too much lately. I'm feeling a lot of responsibility for my daughters, given the state of the world that they are about to enter. On the one hand, they need to start being responsible for themselves. On the other hand, I remember myself at that age. I didn't have a wide knowledge of the world; I didn't really know what I wanted to do with my life, and I didn't have enough experience to help me. And looking at an economy that will probably be depressed for a very long time, I'm afraid that there will be little room for my daughters to explore a lot of options or change their minds.

Unfortunately, I can't control everything. (Yes, sometimes I wish that I could.) Whatever comes, we can deal with it together. I'd like to write more, but I really am very physically worn out, and my brain is just not working today! I'm glad the weekend is here.

Slow Death

I'm afraid to say that the west side of Cleveland is dying. I'm seeing more and more empty storefronts, and a major anchor is pulling out of a local mall. The outdoor mall that replaced Westgate Mall seems to be thriving, but drive only a little way down the street, and there is an entire plaza that is almost empty. The biggest anchor in the empty plaza, as a matter of fact, pulled out and moved to Westgate Mall. I mentioned in a previous post about my favorite clothing store closing the only store they had on the west side. I doubt any of this is helped by the fact that Cuyahoga County's sales tax rate is the highest in the entire state.

Of course, the east side of Cleveland, and south of Cleveland (i.e. Strongsville) seem to be doing better economically. But, and especially in a town that is bordered on one side by an "inland sea," such as Cleveland, I can't see one side of a county, a major metropolitan area, getting worse economically without the rest of the area eventually feeling it. The Strongsville area's only saving grace at the moment may be that Summit County has a sales tax rate on the lower end of the state.

I may be biased by having spent most of my life on the west side of Cleveland, but I do believe the area has a lot to offer. The lake, for one thing. Boating, fishing, personal watercraft. Lots of nice park areas in the Metropolitan Park System. While not at the level of an NYC or LA, there are also nice museums, concerts and plays. That this area may be turning into another Detroit is not only sad, but seems such a waste. There is no reason, that I can see, that this area should be dying, besides poor management by the politicians that run it, the same thing that has decimated Detroit.

And speaking of poor management, I have to put in a note of disgust for the city planners of Avon, OH. They allowed an enormous grove of trees to be chopped down, to make room for more stores. The problem is, the trees have been gone for months, and there is no sign of any new stores coming. So everyone who drives on I-90 through Avon gets to see an open area full of mud and tree stumps, which may stay only mud and tree stumps for a very long time. Yes, there is a new freeway exit going in a little further down the street, but that won't be ready for at least a year, and Avon already has most of the major big box stores and, I believe, all of the local grocery stores. Plus, one of the big reason the exit is being built is to relieve rush hour congestion for the two exits on either side. Will it really bring any new people? And yes, the far west side into Lorain County does seem to be doing well. But how many of those are people fleeing Cuyahoga County for Lorain County? Can that area keep it up? Or will the near west side eventually drag it down as well? I'm not optimistic, given the the sluggish economy and poor city leaders.

Invisible

Well, I never heard from Sew News at all, so I guess they don't want me as a subscriber. I'm starting to feel invisible, as companies just don't seem to respond to me when I try to communicate with them. I sent an email to Lily yarns because I was angry that they sold my email and I was getting spam to it. (It was a custom email, not published anywhere, so it should not have been receiving spam.) Again, no reply at all. I tried to call my favorite clothing store to let them know of my disappointment because of the closing down of the only store closer than a half hour radius for me. I couldn't find an option to contact the company in any way, so I ended up calling the company blind, and getting routed to someone's personal voicemail. I'm not even sure this person deals with issues like mine, and again, I never got a reply.

I'm a relatively small blogger, only one person, so I guess my opinion doesn't matter to companies. And to be honest, one customer really does mean nothing to them in the grand scheme of things. However, one unhappy person can sometimes turn into a whole online community of unhappy people. In the gaming community, a huge drama occurred when one lowly gamer tried to get some information from the PR firm for a company that was creating a good product, but had the misfortune to hire someone functionally illiterate and terminally rude to represent it. Here is an email back and forth between the lowly gamer, Mr. Illiterate, and a man who just happens to run one of the most popular webcomics that gamers read. Christoforo thought he could be rude to one person, and found himself the laughing stock and butt of jokes all over the Internet. For a final laugh, look at this Bing search to see how one of Christoforo's more "unfortunate" phrases has gone completely viral.

Some of the blowback may have gone too far against Christoforo, so I will say right here that I'm not threatening anyone. I don't want a huge online flame war, nor people's personal information or family members to be targeted. I'm just one little person who would like her concerns responded to, but it seems you have to have clout before you get noticed.

Making Sense of Exercise

I never really got into the concept of "exercise," at least the idea of lying on the floor and waving your arms and legs about. It was supposed to be good for you, but it wasn't fun and I didn't see much real point in it. Now that I've seen the Dancer taking ballet, jazz and tap, I've seen her incredible growth as a dancer, and all of the exercise she does makes sense. I prefer ballet barre work to the warm-up exercises she does in jazz, but it's all preparation for a greater end: the beauty of dancing.

I see now that this was probably my real problem all along. I had no greater end to work toward. I was not good at sports; could never have been good at sports. Not only am I under 5'4", but I also have relatively short legs (27" inseam.) And relatively short arms, and small hands. No one ever told me this stuff, though. I knew I wasn't tall, but for the rest, I just felt clumsy and awkward. Without a specific activity to pursue, my interest in exercise merely for exercise's sake decreased rapidly as I grew older.

However, after taking mother-daughter dance classes with the Dancer, I realize that I enjoy dance. Of course, I'll never be "good" at it, but it's something that I can do on my own, as opposed to a group sport, and much less expensive than something where you have to join, like a YMCA for swimming. (Not that I am a good swimmer, either.) And you can do it all year long, which matters in northeast Ohio! The real break-through for me, though, is why I hated exercise, and why it seems to make sense now.

BTW, my daughter's dance studio has started offering Zumba for adults, but I don't think I'm up to that, yet!!

Shut Up and Sew!

I have a subscription to Sew News magazine. It's fun to read about my hobby, and the articles can be inspiring. However, I was surprised, and then appalled, to see the editor's column this month promoting the radical feminist "holiday" V-Day. Yes, I said radical. If the Tea Party is radical, and conservatives are radical, then I'll call out left-wing socialists as being radical. And yes, the V-Day page, to which the editorial directs you, is political. The first article I clicked on, for girls, is all about Occupy Wall Street, and how those mean ol' policemen are beating up and generally harassing all those peaceful OWS activists. Considering over 5,000 OWS protesters have been arrested worldwide, I doubt all of those arrests were of peaceful, law abiding folk, no matter how many well-meaning people are there. Considering the number of reported rapes, I actually find it darkly humorous that the V-Day page is promoting OWS.

If you want more of my thoughts, and the background on the V-Day movement, see below, but suffice it say that it is a very political movement, and I was disturbed to see that a sewing magazine is promoting it. I really don't care what the politics of people in a sewing magazine are. I don't think it's at all necessary for me to know. A sewing magazine should be about sewing! Now I'm wondering if the magazine just wanted to promote what is at bottom a good cause, reducing violence against women, or if they are so far in the left wing tank that they don't even realize they are left wing. See the latest cover of Newsweek for a media outlet who isn't even trying to hide it anymore.

I sent off a quick email to Sew News yesterday. I'll let you know if I hear back. I'm expecting the "sorry if you were offended" nothing sauce, but I may be pleasantly surprised.

Love, Marriage and the Patriarchy

This post has become very long. For those of you who already know about Eve Ensler and V-Day and the left-wing feminist agenda, move on to the next post above. If you want to understand the background of the above post, or you want to read my ramblings about the subject, keep reading!

Some hard-core leftist feminists apparently don't enjoy watching others celebrate romance and happiness on Valentine's Day. They had to come up with V-Day, to highlight violence against women. As the article I linked too describes, yes, violence against women is tragic, it is real, and it should be stopped whenever possible. However, linking it with Valentine's Day is seen by many women, like the women of the Independent Women's Forum, and myself, as an assault on normal, romantic relationships between men and women. My husband and I have a stable and loving relationship. I chose to get married, to have children, to be a stay-at-home mom. My husband and I made the decision for me to homeschool our children, and we ultimately made the decision to send them to public school. I'm not a victim of the patriarchy. Since most of my regular readers are also in stable marriages, I think you would agree that marriage and family can be a good thing.

Where the left-wing feminists go wrong in their V-Day approach, I think is two-fold. One, linking violence against women to simple, everyday loving marriages and male-female relationships. Two, thinking that constantly drawing attention to something will somehow magically end it. How much sense does pushing "Valentine's Day as V-Day until the violence stops" really make? I find it hard to believe that leftists really believe in the perfection of humanity, and yet the women that promote V-Day seem to. Welcome to real life, and real, fallen humanity, and a world where there will always be people who are violent, selfish, murderous, debauched, physically ill, mentally ill. I wonder if the Lutheran concept of vocation does not come into play here. I can feel sorrow for tragic events that take place far away, but my real vocation is helping my neighbor, the person that is here in front of me. Putting a sticker on my car that says "Free Tibet" will not free Tibet. Giving my out-of-work neighbor a bag of groceries will help feed a family.

Or are these women just pushing their agenda, that women are victims constantly in need of help, constantly need Daddy Government looking out for them? It's easy to proclaim you'll push X until Y happens, when you know Y will never happen, if your real goal is just to push X. Either way, their ideas and worldview are miles away from me, and I think they would realize that, and despise me for it. What I wonder about it is the people who think, or pretend to think, that this stuff is mainstream, and I'll explain why in my next post.

Cough Cough

The entire BTEG family has been sick for about a week. I absolutely hate getting sick around this time. For one thing, it's harder to get back into a regular schedule after the holidays. For another, it's harder to start working on the goals that you want to achieve for the year. Even sewing does not hold much appeal when all that you want to do is sleep, and your body aches. I'm also coughing heavily when I do too much physical activity.

I am thankful that the weather has been unseasonably warm and sunny. It's good to get some extra sunshine at this time of year.

Slowing It Down

One of the things I'm learning to do in order to achieve my goals is not to get ahead of myself. It's very difficult to cook more, and perhaps even experiment with fancier dishes, when the kitchen is not completely organized. I'm still trying to find room for things; a buffet would be great, but it's not in the budget so I need to work with what we have. In the meantime, I shouldn't feel badly when the best I can do is just getting a dinner on the table for my family.

I also need to pace myself better with regards to sewing. I often look at the project as a whole and get overwhelmed, instead of breaking up into tasks. Maybe one day to find the fabric (because a lot of it is still in boxes.) One day to trace the pattern and cut it out (if it's a big project.) Then get the pieces cut out. Then the sewing. One of the hot ideas in accomplishing goals (at least looking at the Android apps) is simply taking, say, 25 minutes to work on something. That way, you've made progress, but the task doesn't bog you down.

I'll admit it's difficult not to be impatient to get a project done. Especially when there's a deadline you've created for yourself. For example, I really wanted to get the living room cleaned up more before the Musician's birthday party, and before Christmas. We have no attic and no basement in our current abode, so there are lots of boxes with no place to go. However, there was enough room for the Musician's friends to enjoy her party, and enough room for the Christmas tree to go up, and for the family to sit around it. No use beating myself up over it not being better.

Stability

Do you know why I actually have some hope that I can accomplish some of my goals for this year? Because for the first time in a long time, we are not planning to move, and we are living somewhere that we have close to enough space. When everyone in your family has some type of hobby or interest, you need more space. Mine is sewing. While I'm going to attempt to cut down my fabric stash, I still need room for my cutting table, my table for my machines, my patterns, my reference books. Sewing makes me happy!

It was only late last year that I actually started to realize, however, how much stability can mean. It's such a nice feeling to unpack, to really settle in, not to have so many of one's possessions packed away in boxes. You can actually use everything you have, not have most of it stored away. It's nice to be able to take a nice long break from living out of boxes, and just concentrate on living for a while.

Marker

Yet another birthday for my eldest. Sweet sixteen this year! She's moving towards independence at a slightly faster clip now. Hope we can keep enjoying our times together!

Visions of Sugar Plums

Went Christmas shopping on Saturday, including a visit to a Toys R Us. I can totally believe that Christmas spending will be down this year, just based on the state of the economy, but the stores are still busy and traffic is still heavy around here. Maybe people are buying less? Also, many of the people I saw at Toys R Us appeared to be grandparents, with glazed expressions and a list of what the grandkids want clutched in hand. Grandparents will always want to give something to the grandchildren. It just might be something smaller this year. Not that I am happy about this state of affairs, just trying to explain what I am seeing versus predictions. And lots of people out there are hurting economically, just based on the employment numbers and the demand for food stamps, etc.

I was also surprised and a little irritated by the emptiness of some of the store shelves. I've heard that stores are cutting back on how much they have in stock at a time, due to, you guessed it, the slowdown of the economy. I would think for Christmas they would ramp it up just a bit.

Living Under the Law

Let me say from the start that I hate neighborhood covenants. However, we were rather limited when we were forced to look for a place to live. The girls were thriving in their current school district, and had made some friends. We were determined not to make them start over in a new district, so we had to find the best place we could in this town. Which is why we wound up here.

All of my readers who are Christians should know about the difference between the Law and the Gospel. And what I'm about to write should make perfect sense to you. The Law, in this case the neighborhood covenant, has turned some of the people in this neighborhood into Pharisees. Even I am becoming nitpick-y. Because if we're going to get "busted" for having our garbage out on the lawn before 5 PM on the day before collection day, or sniped at because we still have our Christmas lights up (although not lit) in late January, than yes, I'm sorry to say that I have started watching like a hawk, and recording all of my neighbors' transgressions, at least mentally. Because that's what living under the Law begets. "Thank you, God, that I am not like this tax collector." Point out the mote in my eye, and I'll be more than happy to show you the beam in your own. How much better to live under the Gospel! To bear one anothers' burdens, to forgive others' faults even as they forgive you yours. Lord, save us from the burden of the Law.

Starting Over. And Over.

Crazy week. Not more actual activity going on, but being slightly sick for a good part of the week made things tougher. Actually, we got fewer things done. But the week is almost over, which is a relief.

I consider it rather Providential how many opportunities we are given to make a "fresh start." A new day, a new week, a new month, a new year. Because there are chances for self-improvement. Not in the theological "God wants me to be a better person" kind of way, but people can make positive changes. Eat less. Stay off the computer more. Spend more time with the kids/spouse. And every day, His mercies are new, and we have a chance to change something. Even if it was messed up the day before.

Unintended Consequences

eBay has apparently started charging ten percent on shipping costs that sellers charge, as well as taking its cut of whatever the item itself sells for. Supposedly they are trying to get people to offer free shipping. But you know that crazy law of unintended consequences. What some people are doing instead is jacking up the shipping costs to cover the ten percent extra, and informing the buyers as to why. And I don't blame them.

Yes, shipping items can be a pain, because the Postal Service can get expensive, and unless you go flat rate, it can be hard to tell how much an item will cost to ship. And flat rate has become outweighed by cost over convenience, especially when you're selling items, and buyers want to pay as little as possible. Is eBay trying to avoid the hassle of buyers overpaying for shipping by "encouraging" sellers to offer free shipping? Or just taking another slice of the pie? I don't know. I do know that by offering free shipping, most sellers will end up tacking the shipping cost onto the selling price instead, and that creates issues of its own. Simply because of the difficulty in estimating shipping, how much easier just to be generous in your estimation and raise the selling price a little bit higher than your guess. Whereas lots of sellers, including myself, pride themselves in providing accurate shipping costs and refund any overage.

When it comes to my particular eBay interest, dolls, there seems to be a particular price range for various items. If you're charging more for your item, but offering free shipping, will buyers be astute enough to do the math and realize that the cost evens out? I don't know, because I've become cynical and think its hard to underestimate the intelligence of the masses. I also hate overtinkering to manipulate others. It generally doesn't end well.

The Writing Experience

Every time I begin a blog post, and look at the last date I posted, I chide myself for not writing sooner. The thing is, I think about writing something, and I talk myself out of writing it, for fear that it is stupid, or I can't put together some thoughts in my mind, so I drop it. But what I am remembering is my college experience. When I had a paper to write, I always, but always, put it off until the last minute. Even in my freshman humanities classes, where we had to write a rough draft and go over it with a classmate, I never used the rough draft when I wrote the final paper. Instead, I usually became inspired around eleven or midnight the night before the writing was due, and pounded out a paper on my electric typewriter, which usually got a pretty good grade. I don't have to have The Great American Blog Post planned out in my head before I start writing. As in other areas of life, maybe the most important place to start is by just showing up.

Roadblocks

Hope today's sewing adventure goes better than yesterday's. Spent a good bit of time cleaning up after the last project, thoroughly cleaning the lint out of the serger, getting the cutting table re-organized to get space to work. Only to have the serger stubbornly refuse to serge. The threads kept getting snarled and breaking, and I couldn't really see a reason why. So I pulled all the threads, and I'm going to try to absolutely thread it from scratch. I really hope it works, or it's going to kill the positive, productive mood that I'm in.

ETA: I did get the serger working, and I got some sewing done! One or two of the tension discs feel a little bit loose. Wonder if that is normal, or how they could be tightened. Yes, the machine could use a tune-up, but I'd like to wait until after the holidays, and until our financial situation improves.

Okay, Not So Up

So much for getting my netbook back. Linux seems to running fine on it, BUT there is something wrong that makes the computer shut down unexpectedly. Don't know if it needs a new battery or what, but that kind of stuff (that costs money) will have to wait. Trying to be more careful when I use Mr. BTEG's computer, since I am using it in his personal space, his den.

After seeing all the tragic stories coming out of the Penn State scandal, I am more than ever confused about why anyone thinks a larger government is a good idea. In cases like this, trying to put a stop to such illegal and disturbing activities would have been as "easy" as calling the police. For various reasons, a whole network of people did not do what would have been the right thing. I am not naive enough to believe there is any group of people in power with complete immunity to corruption. So in something as large as the federal government, what do you do when people are misusing the power with which they have been entrusted? Who are "the police"? Will everyone behind Solyndra and Fast and Furious, for example, be brought to justice? Will money funneled from the public till be restored? Lives that were lost can never be given back. So why entrust anyone, ANYONE, with so much power, prestige and privilege, that they are willing to, at the minimum, look away from evil to keep what they have?

Up and Running

Finally have my netbook back, although Mr. BTEG still needs to get my email client running. Getting used to all the different fonts. Do different fonts in software, from the ones that you're already used to, bother anyone else? I'm not liking the font I'm seeing while I type this; I like it the least of everything I've seen so far. It's very much like a plain old electric typewriter font. Boring.

Mr. BTEG pointed out to me, and I had meant to say, that the title of my last post was very Dr. Who-ish. While I was referring to the idea of "Don't blink or you'll miss it," in regards to how quickly days and weeks can slip by; still, a little Dr. Who reference is always fun. :)

Don't Blink

The days are going by incredibly quickly! It's fun, until I look around the house and see what's not getting done, while I'm out running errands or going places for the girls. Ach! Definitely can't have it all, so I might as well have fun with what I have.

On a related note, sometimes bipolar people, when in their manic state, will do crazy things, like go on a shopping binge for shoes and clothes. Mr. BTEG showed me something I hadn't seen, which was that while I don't go on shopping sprees to that extent, I do have my shopping weakness. I occasionally buy some organizational bins, drawers, etc. on a quest to organize. Could be worse!

Merry What-Mas?

I am aware that secular families put up a Christmas tree at Christmas; many people who are not Christian do indeed celebrate this holiday. However, I found it interesting to see a Buddha ornament among the Christmas ornaments at my local World Market store. Celebrating Christmas as a "generic winter holiday" is one thing. Throwing another religion into a religious holiday is... different. Maybe something like adding Shinto practices on to Rosh Hashanah. But I suppose once people start redefining Christmas, they can just go on redefining it. I'm happy to be celebrating the birth of my Savior at Christmas.

I would have taken a picture, but the picture gallery on my phone is acting strangely.

Climbing

Well, my netbook is still being worked on. I'm going to have to sneak on to Mr. BTEG's computer more often and post. I have to admit that I love the giant monitor and full-sized keyboard. I just wasn't set up with all my own things on this computer before.

I've been pretty down lately, and I'm trying to climb back out. I would love to have a local friend, someone with whom I could talk just about every day, besides Mr. BTEG. No matter how often I "reset" my attitude, it's easy to fall back into negative thinking when the only ones I have to talk to are the voices in my head (grin.) This month has been incredibly busy, with marching band season in full swing, but I haven't developed any friendships or even good acquaintance-ships with other parents. Sometimes it seems like the luck of the draw. The moms whose daughters are in the dance class the next step up from the Dancer's, for example, all sit around and talk while their daughters are in class. With the girls in my daughter's classes, most of the moms aren't even around; they drop their daughters off at the beginning of class and arrive just in time to pick them up at the end.

I *am* enjoying fall; it's my favorite season. I've been doing a little bit of "nesting," wanting to get our place organized better for the holidays and birthdays that are approaching. A less cluttered environment would probably be a big mood booster.

(Waving Frantically)

I'm still here! Mr. BTEG took my netbook and updated it. Windows was being a memory hog to the point where I couldn't even run my virus checker anymore. Mr. BTEG installed a flavor of Linux on there instead, so now the computer should work much better. This does provide an example of why so many people love Macs, though. Not everyone has live-in tech support, like I do. :)

I Will

No, Sheila Jackson Lee, I will not shut up. I will not go to hell, Maxine Waters. I don't blog about politics often, but I blog about whatever I feel like, whenever I feel like it. If I want to say that people only vote for you out of greed and stupidity, I will. If I want to say that America should come first, and not the color of our skin, I will. If I want to say that I hope the voters kick both of you out on your asses and send you to the unemployment line where your policies have already sent so many, I will. I won't be intimidated by the likes of you.

Getting It Done

To do a to do list or not to do a to do list? :) I go back and forth. If I have a list, I can start to feel pressured and overwhelmed. If I don't have a list, I often forget things that I wanted to accomplish for that day. Getting into better habits might help overall with not forgetting things, but one day isn't like another around here anymore! I'm liking this stage of my life, though, however busy. I really enjoy being around my girls.

How the Other Half Lives

Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday of this week, I spent a lot of time away from home because of various responsibilities. I wasn't a working mom, but I did feel a lot like it--the extra stress, not being home to do chores or cook meals, less sleep. We did eat out and eat take-out. When no one is home to cook, you have to eat somehow. The dishes we did use at home piled up. By the end of Thursday night, I couldn't think straight. I missed casual times of talking with the girls. I even missed running the dishwasher! I don't think juggling a 40-hour work week would be for me.

Goodbye Sunlight

I may have to up my Vitamin D intake; I really crashed hard today. Mr. BTEG and his sister both suffer from levels of Vitamin D that can get low enough to be dangerous. It may have a bigger impact on our health than we think. It would help explain why people in third world countries don't seem to get autoimmune disorders, if the Vitamin D were a cause and not just a symptom.

Telephone

I'm finally getting around to expressing my concern about the lack of reading comprehension in our society. If someone can't read a simple sentence in a newsgroup correctly, what are the odds that they will be able to understand all of the facts given in something important, like an article or blog post sharing serious news?

Today, I'm reading the latest messages on a doll newsgroup. First poster talks about a certain doll just featured in a magazine. First of all, she gets the last name of the doll mixed up with the adjective used to describe the doll on the magazine cover. Okay, not going to quibble about that too much. Both words are commonly used in talking about sewing, and she got the name of the magazine right, so you can always go look for yourself. But then she says that the face paint on the doll looks like it was done by a kindergartener. To which the next person responds, yes, she does look like she could be in kindergarten. Um, what? I really don't think that's what person A meant/wrote. It's like that game we played in grade school; the farther along the road you get, the more "off" things are.

The Modern Sewer

Anyone else have an Android phone and not an iPhone? I got an issue of my sewing magazine the other day, and one of the features was ten sewing apps. Before I even turned to the page, I said to myself, "I bet most of them will be for the iPhone." Well, I wasn't *entirely* right. In actual fact, 9 out of 10 were iPhone exclusive. Mr. BTEG tells me that there as many apps out there for the Android as there are for the iPhone, but not for the stuff that I'm interested in. I have found one knitting app, called County, which helps you keep track of which row you're on. I can't even find a grocery list app that I like.

Another problem I have with sewing magazines is that too many of the projects assume you have an embroidery machine. And the embroidery is a big part of what makes the project. It just makes me feel poor and out of the loop, and I hate that.

On the other hand, there was a "survey" about how much fabric people have in their stashes. I'm a total piker compared to a lot of these women, but that, I'm totally cool with. I feel guilty about how much of a stash I have as it is. Although I'm getting to a point where more and more of it is leftover bits that are big enough that I don't like to throw them away.

Quick Complaint

I hate it when people are more interested in riding off on their hobby horse than actually listening to what you are trying to say. Especially people whose job involves listening, ostensibly.

Hope

One of the only things that keeps me going, is hope. Yes, I have a wonderful husband and two great daughters, and we live in a nice area of metro Cleveland. But in a lot of other ways, we are struggling. I don't want to stay where we are for the rest of my life. I want things in some areas to improve. And without hope that better things might be coming, I could very easily fall into despair.

It's important to say, though, that I can't depend on anyone else for this hope, besides Mr. BTEG. We share common dreams and goals, and work towards things together. Yes, God does send his blessings to all. But things won't necessarily fall out of the sky either. Sometimes God provides for us by giving us the means to earn our daily bread instead of dropping manna. And depending on an other human is a sure way to be disappointed. The dreams that Mr. BTEG and I share are very personal to us. To hope that some great consortium of people will accomplish exactly what you desire is to forget the complexity and conflicting interests of humans. And to hope that there is some benevolent being out there, besides God, who will just give you everything you need, is just a pipe dream. Not even God gives you everything you need with no effort on your part. And you definitely don't get everything you want, either.

I'm going to accomplish a few things today towards some of my dreams!

Life's Little Oddities

For a desperately needed mental lift for the Evil Genius, three members of the Evil Genius family went to our nearest Winking Lizard restaurant. As we were seated, surrounded by large televisions, I was irked that the baseball game on was between the evil Red Sox and the even eviller Yankees. So we get the game on our TV turned to the Indians. Heaven. So there I am watching the game, eating a delicious Angus burger, jamming to a cool song (it was Pulling Mussels by Squeeze if you must know) and I realize my husband and the Dancer are not really into the game (or the music.) Not only that, but I start watching a preseason football game on another television involving the Evil Team that my husband roots for, and he's not interested in that either. I love Mr. Evil Genius more than anyone else, but not only am I the biggest sports fan in the house, but the man of the house isn't really all that big on sports. Heh.

Oh, and my family really hates it when I jump up and down screaming while one of the Browns runs into the endzone. Yelling and sticking my hands up in the air when an Indians player goes yard is slightly more tolerated.

Wondering Why

Oh dear. I'm frustrated, and sometimes angry, and sometimes even getting scared. The only way I can describe is that it feels like there is some bad mojo somewhere. Of course that's not Christian. But to say one feels under Satan's attack seems over-dramatic. And then I do feel like such a small insect in the vastness that is God's creation.

Facebook Etiquette

The Musician hung out over the summer for a day with a friend from another town, and on the way back she gave me a lesson on Facebook etiquette. When you've been somewhere with a friend, you have to post about it on Facebook. But not right away. But definitely later that day. Also, the exhuberance of your post depends on whether the person is your *best* friend or just a friend or whatever. If the person is your *best* friend, your post will go along the lines of "Just had the BEST day EVER with Jane!!!" "Had fun with Jane today" works if the person is just a regular friend. It's like modern day Victorian calling cards!

Moody

I'm starting to wonder about myself. Well, not really, but I am starting to wonder if my "cycling" is normal. Not the bipolar cycling, which I expect, but just getting through the day cycling. There isn't a day lately where I don't feel discouraged or depressed for at least part of the time. I can usually work my way up to guardedly hopeful, which is the best I get these days. Whether it's because I'm trying to protect myself, or because I see lots of bad signs about the future, I don't know. I do know that the more I do, the better I feel. Climbing out of depression to "do" is the hard part.

Running Again

I found my machine oil. It was in a little crate with some other bathroom items. I keep it in the bathroom because, where else is easier to clean up if some of the oil happens to spill?

We're going to be very busy for a while here, and I hate having so much on my plate. Curriculum night at the middle school tonight, ice cream social for the high school marching band tomorrow. Fortunately, Daddy will be the one taking the girls school supply shopping on Saturday. I will probably be the one taking the girls shopping for a few new clothes. Next week, marching band preview night, then the first day of school. Then the football games start, then the dance classes start. I guess it will keep me out of trouble. :)

Needing Dusted Off

I'm really trying to be good and get some sewing done, but I can't find my sewing machine oil, and both of my machines really need it. Mr. BTEG says he has some out in his shop that I can use, but the whole day will be gone by the time he gets home. His shop is nowhere organized or neat, which is why I have to wait for him. It's really important for me to take advantage of times when I feel up, because I have far too many down times when not much gets accomplished.

I'm also tired of how dusty things get. I hate having to dust things around here before I can use them. I'm starting to think I would love to have everything in big cabinets with doors. Maybe some of them could have glass doors so you could see what was in them, although we have a bookcase out in the garage that still needs a glass door replaced after the Dancer broke it many years ago. We'd just have to make sure the cabinets reached all the way up to the ceiling, so the tops wouldn't gather... dust.

Nostalgia For What Wasn't

I am going through some of our homeschooling books that didn't get a lot of use, so I can sell them. I remember all the plans I made and looking forward to using the books with the girls. I am sorry that my plans never really worked out. Oh, the girls did learn somehow, since they were able to transition into public school. But most of the plans I had didn't work out. The girls and I did have some nostalgic moments, however, going through some of their old work, especially the art work. Which is funny in a way because they don't do much creative art work on their own, but they did seem to enjoy what was assigned to them. So I'm thankful for what we did have, but still feeling a bit of nostalgia for what never was.

Garden Woes

The container gardening hasn't been an entire failure, but it hasn't been as successful as I envisioned late this spring. I think we'll get one pepper off of the pepper plant. Anyone know if this is normal? We are getting tomatoes, but due to a failure to stake the plants better as they got taller, we won't get as many tomatoes as we should have. The Dancer is at least enjoying a few tomatoes every few days. The oregano looks rather sad. I suppose we may be able to chop what there is, up. Strawberries failed to materialize.

The problems as I see them were: 1. An especially rainy spring. The plants got overly soggy to the point where they were sitting in water. We did our best to drain the containers and moved the plants in when it rained, but the responsibility of lugging containers around, I think became discouraging.
2. Our patio faces south. This discourages us from spending much time out there, thus kind of forgetting about the plants. I would like to get some kind of large umbrella or other shade, but the cost is rather prohibitive.

Oh, and I planted some lilies-of-the-valley in front, in the shade. There didn't seem to be much to them, just a scrawny bit of root. I have lost all hope of them since the landscaping crew that maintains our development came and dumped a bunch of mulch on top of these little twigs sticking up. I wonder if transplanting some larger plants from someone who has some would work better. I think I mentioned before that I tried lilies before many years ago and got nothing then as well.

The price of food being what it is, I still think it is worth giving container gardening another try next spring. Actually, I would like to get some more containers so that we can grow more food. We'll see where things stand next spring. I will also put some ornamental bulbs in this fall.

Quick Question

So you're sitting outside with your friends on a summer evening. It's a lovely, if slightly humid, night, in a peaceful neighborhood. A little alcohol may add to the enjoyment, but does being drunk and loud really add anything?

I Want My MTV

I was just about to start my eighth grade year when MTV debuted. It was the coolest thing ever! I hadn't remembered the MTV logo flashing on the moon flag, but I found that so awesome back then. Now so much of it looks so cheesy! The open shirt on Mark Goodman! Oooh, edgy!

Sirius Radio already features four of the original MTV VJs as the hosts of the 80's on 8 channel. They did a tribute show today, playing the songs in order as the videos appeared on TV. They also had guests in like Pat Benatar. The reactions of the VJs ranged from "Good times, good times" to "I can't believe we played this dreck." After hearing Nina Blackwood back then versus Nina today, I also think she's smoked about two packs a day since then. Here then, is the first ten minutes of MTV.

The Dreary Night

Sometimes I hate the night. Often I feel a disconnect with normal life. Nothing seems to have any value. I wonder why anything is worth putting in any effort. Trying to get to sleep at home after I got out of the hospital was particularly difficult. Everything seemed empty and meaningless, yet I needed to think of something positive in order to get to sleep.

My medicine can often make me very drowsy at night, which means what little "nightlife" I had is pretty much gone. I can certainly put off taking my meds to a later hour, but when your body is used to feeling drowsy at a certain time, it can still be hard to mess up your schedule. It's best for me to stay on a good schedule, anyway.

I actually feel better typing this post. Just knowing that you all are out there is comforting. I suppose it doesn't make a lot of sense, but I don't feel alone with my family spinning on a little ball out in space. There is companionship and fellowship out there to pull me out of myself.

Down Day

Tired and discouraged tonight. I've been busy for the last few days, however, so I'm expecting to feel better tomorrow. I am disappointed because I thought I'd found a support group for people with mental illnesses, but they don't appear to still be running, or at least not on the schedule that I found. Why is it so hard to meet people? Too tired to go into any detailed analysis of my thoughts on the subject, so discuss among yourselves. :)

Just Keep Swimming

Too darn long since I last posted! I've been getting busier with enjoyable things, like going to the pool with the girls. I have no idea why I haven't done that sooner. Especially since no other exercise plan looks like it will work out this summer. We can't afford a bicycle or even good walking shoes for me at the moment, so swimming is a good alternative.

I'm actually so busy that I've barely touched my computer lately! I'm sure there will be plenty of time for that this winter, though. I just need to write here more often. Life could be seen as outwardly boring because we haven't been doing "exciting" things, but I think we are all enjoying the summer. The girls have spent lots of time swimming, bicycling and hanging out with their friends, all good kid summer activities. No need for admonitions to come in when the streetlights come on, however. If the girls are at a friend's house that late, it usually ends up being a sleepover!

East End

I live on the far west side of Cleveland. When I meet up with my friend, we meet on the far east side of Cleveland, because my friend lives even further east, outside the greater Cleveland area altogether. We usually go window shopping after we eat. This past time, we went to a different mall. It was really amazing. I mean, there are rich people on the west side of Cleveland, judging by the number of big, expensive homes. However, the east side must have people that are even richer. Nowhere on the west side are there stores like the east side. A Swarovski crystal store, with a male sales attendant wearing more makeup than my friend and combined. I don't know how he could even move his face to speak. Saks Fifth Avenue. Nordstrom's. (Us poor folk on the west side have to get along with Dillard's and Macy's and JC Penney.) There was even a LEGO store. I wonder how long the economy will be able to support having such stores. Even the uber-wealthy are going to have to feel it eventually, I would think. Dang, I'm such a pessimist!

Out of the House

Had a Girl's Night Out with a friend tonight. Every time I have one, I realize all over again how much I need them, and resolve to do it more often. Well, my friend and I probably will be meeting again soon, but I need to get out more as well, with family or friends. When I'm at home I think I tend to turn inward too much, and brood. Yes, my family, and I, have problems, but fretting over them won't do anything to solve them. Of course, I don't have any ideas for solutions, either. But I'm tired after my big night out, and Tomorrow Is Another Day.

Awake...Asleep

Very tired. Drove to Toledo and back tonight to pick up the Musician. She attended the annual Higher Things youth conference with a church group from that area. I'm hoping I will be able to slow my mind down enough to get to sleep soon. Having to stay awake and alert for several hours only to try to go to sleep soon after is frustrating.

The Future

I'm feeling better today. I need to find someone that I can "dump on" when I'm feeling frustrated or confused. Although I should also journal more. Writing things down is really a good way to get things out of my system. Like Karen, I'm starting to feel like I have church issues. Which is surprising. Our church is liturgical and traditional, which I like, and the pastors are great. But is it wrong to want to have friends with some of the people that you go to church with, instead of just everyone being a bunch of people that you see once a week? Distance is also getting to be an issue, with the price of gas, and also because I would like to have some kind of local feeling at my church. We leave at least twenty minutes to a half hour away from most of the people who attend the church. And I am also really not fond of the new location (long story.) I think Greater Cleveland needs more than one confessional Lutheran church!!

Need Advice

What do you blog about when you are cranky and you can't say what you really want to say? I mean, yes, I'm evil, but people look at you funny when you let your evil flag fly. Sigh.

A Change

After four hours of work by the installers this morning, we finally have air conditioning again. I'm feeling relief with my skin, although it will take a while to heal. One positive side effect is that I am drowsy tonight for the first time in a week or more. That feels really good. Actually, I'm too tired to really type much more of anything coherent, so, goodnight!

Nothing

I'm tired. Very tired. Wishing I could stop.

Bleah

I'm unhappy. I seem to have developed some kind of skin allergy to something outside. I base this on the fact that, without air conditioning, I'm feeling like I have chicken pox or something. My skin has been rashy and itchy even on the days that it was cooler. Today, some of my skin has even transitioned from itchy to raw feeling. And Mr. BTEG forgot the Benadryl when he went shopping this morning.

I've always had sensitive skin; I'm sure I've mentioned this here before. So I'm already using the soaps and laundry detergents for sensitive skin. I'm guessing that I haven't seen this skin issue before because we usually spend the summer in air conditioning. But thanks to the Air Conditioning Saga, I get to spend almost a week more feeling itchy.

We're spending some time over the holidays with my in-laws, but even then, a lot of the time we will be outdoors at a family picnic. We'll see if whatever it is that I'm allergic to will affect me there.

Dancin' the Night Away

The Dancer and I had the first Mother/Daughter dance class that we have done in two years. And I enjoyed it just as much. Which is kind of bad, because I would like to find a place where I can take ballet as an adult, but not an adult who has been taking dance her entire life.

The Dancer has, as she told me, matured, so she understands better that Mom, who has not had years of ballet training and is not as young as she used to be, is not going to be a spectacular dancer. But we enjoy it.

I've certainly not been exercising as much as I could or should, but I must be in better shape than I was two years ago. I was not nearly as wiped out as I remember being before.

The Circle Comes Back Around

The Musician is the one who made the choice for her current name on this blog to be: the Musician. I think she picked this name because the big extracurricular interest for her in high school at the moment is the high school marching and concert band. She enjoys being with her friends but she also does want to play her parts well.

I forget what made us get the Musician started taking piano lessons. I think it was because she wanted to take guitar, and honestly, Mr. BTEG and I felt that piano was a better choice to actually learn to read the notes and learn about scales and chords. I imagine we were open to her learning guitar but we wanted her to have a sound musical foundation first. She did well; she even performed in front of judges for a competition, which I thought was impressive considering she was only about seven or so.

Her piano teacher was also a former opera singer. The Musician sang the words as she played some of her piano pieces, and her teacher suggested she take voice lessons as well. She didn't do the voice lessons for long, but to my lay ears you can tell that she did have some training. She also picked up a few extra instruments and played around with them: a flute carved out of wood, a Scottish whistle, an Irish drum. She wasn't a prodigy; we never thought music would be her life, but she did show a musical bent.

So what happened next? Well, she didn't want to practice. I suppose we could have forced her to do so, but it seemed like a really good way to kill any little interest in music that she had left, and it would have been as much work or more for us to make her do it.

She still played around with instruments occasionally, inherited a student guitar from a friend of ours and picked up some chords. Fast forward to public school in eighth grade, when she decides she is interested in learning percussion. We didn't have an extra lot of money lying around, so we advised her to ask her music teacher (from whom she was taking general music) if he knew someone who could teach her percussion inexpensively. He suggested she join concert band and she did for the second half of the school year. She lacked experience but could still read music fairly well and picked up percussion quickly, leading her to being in pit in the marching band, and playing bells and similar in concert band.

Now a friend of ours, who has a musical background, has starting giving her voice lessons after hearing her sing in church. He will also be teaching her how to play the cornet. She borrowed that from a friend whose mother used to play it. She's also expressing interest in playing the organ, although goodness knows how she'd practice. She'll still never be a professional or anything, but her father and I are glad to see a deeper interest in music coming back. And that those piano lessons we paid for were worth something!

Selling Online

I like to surf eBay, checking out the sections that sell stuff that I am interested in. Sometimes I buy something if the price is right. Mostly I just look. I would really love to email some of these people privately and ask them why on earth they have their auctions set up the way that they do. I could probably create a book or a DVD on how to improve your online auctions, but since I'm a giver, I'll share a few tips for free.

1. Rotate your pictures to the correct view. It's really hard to get a good look at an item when it is sideways. I'm not sure what viewer I use to see my photos (hopefully Mr. BTEG will chime in here) but I can rotate pictures there easily. I think eBay even offers you an opportunity to rotate pictures while you are uploading them. Find a way to do this.
2. I am interested in dolls and things related to dolls, which means taking pictures of small things, preferably close up to get a better view. Seriously, if your digital camera doesn't have a macro feature, find someone who has one. Make friends with someone who has a camera with this feature, just because he has it. A blurry picture, or a picture taken from far enough away to keep the picture from being blurry, does not really display your item to its best advantage.
3. Pay attention to the lighting. A blurry picture is only better than a blurry picture taken in the shadows. Some people who sell big ticket items very seriously online, have a photo tent with lights placed at several angles, to get the absolute best effects. This isn't an necessity. Take your item to a window and use the light from that big thing in the sky with which God has blessed us. Use a bright light inside your home, or even two, if it's winter or whatever.
4. Be descriptive. Believe it or not, there are people who sell something like, say, doll furniture, where measurements are really important, who don't offer any measurements in the description. OTOH, if you are selling a well-known brand of doll, you don't really need to give the height of a doll. People generally know what size the goddess of pink plastic is.
5. Pick a good background. People really don't need or want to see everything on your kitchen counters, or all the assorted piles of papers and whatnot in your computer area. There has to be a blank wall somewhere in your home.
6. Pay attention to where your auction ends up. Every now and then I see an auction for a full-sized adult piece of furniture in the doll furniture section, or something similar. eBay does let you search for the right category by typing in keywords, but it is up to you to make sure your item is in the best category, or even the right category.
7. Don't throw stuff into your auction just because you want to get rid of it. I wonder about doll furniture auctions where a doll, sometimes a very obscure or ugly doll, is included with the furniture. Maybe some people say, hey, I'd like to buy a piece of doll furniture for which I have no doll that I could display with it. And I have no preference on what kind of doll I would like. I would imagine this doesn't apply to the majority.

I also have the observation that sales in the doll sections really seem to have decreased. Some items are still popular, and some are absolutely incomprehensible to me. I don't understand why people would pay up to $100 for an outfit for a Titanic doll, especially when there are multiples of the same outfit listed at the same time, and more being listed almost every day. But in general, things are just not selling. You can scroll through a page of almost 200 items where most of them have no interest. I wonder if the auctions for, say, practical items like kids' clothing have gone up as people are looking to save money there.

The Saga Continues

Since I'm tired tonight, I will just give a quick update on the Air Conditioning Saga. It was determined that we need a whole new air conditioner. Air conditioner wouldn't even run; it tripped off the breaker every time instead. Fortunately, it has been fairly cool, although rainy, which means running around the house closing the windows when it rains. Good thing the weather has not been too unbearably hot, since the air conditioner is not scheduled to be replaced until July 7th.

Unfortunately, my skin has been unusually itchy. For a while I had some good heat rash going on, but that hasn't been so much of an issue the last few days. Since we're getting rain just about every day, the humidity is high, so I'm guessing it's some sort of outdoor allergy. I'm using cortisone sparingly and looking forward to closing the windows to see what happens.

The Good, the Bad, the Not Really There Yet

Today was a difficult day. Some of it was due to... stuff that happens. Like the battery dying in our car, so that the Dancer and I missed her first summer jazz class and our first Mom/Daughter summer ballet class. The Musician not being careful enough with bleach, so my only wear-out-shirt now has bleach spots. But some of it was related to my old enemy, bipolar. It's a difficult line to walk. I'm not the kind of person to just go off her medication. It's not really any fun in the long run. Heck, since I tend to cycle rather quickly, it's not very fun in the short run, either. But the medication does not exactly make you normal. Some of the parts of you that were good can get lost on the medication, and you miss them. I'm going to have a chat with my psychiatrist and see if a change might help. At this point, I'm willing to try a little medication roulette if I can get back some of my energy and enthusiasm for life.

Bleak

Do you all of you out there know what reborn dolls are? They are mass-produced dolls that are redone using paint (down to tiny veins,) rooted hair, and appropriate stuffing or filling to imitate an actual newborn baby. Magnets can be used to give the baby a pacifier. It's not my thing, but then most people would probably think I was strange for collecting dolls at all, so there you are. But tonight on eBay was a first for me: a reborn baby vampire doll. Creepy! Not to mention, how do vampires have babies anyway? Besides that whole Twilight thing which is probably at fault for a lot of this current vampire craze anyway. I suppose some people would like the sweetness and innocence of a baby combined with the darkness of a vampire--or they want to pretend they have Edward Cullen's love child. It just seems a little too ghoulish for me.

Our culture seems to be ever more fascinated with death, darkness and things that go bump in the night. It may be more of an issue to me because of my illness. If I am not careful, I can get pulled into the abyss easier than most. But thinking of the idea of "the culture of death" that some have thrown around, due to the acceptance, and in some cases encouragement, of abortion and euthanasia, I wonder. Non-Christians have every right to collect a doll created after the Death Tarot card, or be drawn to gloominess and cemeteries. Am I overreacting to wonder if our culture can wonder too far down the path into darkness? What do you see in your world?

Hanging On to a LIttle

So. I got a lot of stuff about school out there yesterday. It seems kind of strange and disjointed, perhaps. All I can say is, the feelings homeschool moms have when they are told they are ruining their children or doing something wrong or whatnot? I have those feelings too, but in this case it is about my kids being indoctrinated and not getting to explore their own interests and not getting enough depth, and on and on. Mr. BTEG and I know that we are doing what is best for our family, so I don't exactly feel guilt. I just want to say that there is room, and use, for the basic public school idea. There are a lot of things that could be changed about schools, and I think the addition of charter schools and more freedom for homeschool would be great. But the large school really fits our needs at the moment. It doesn't have to stay "public;" it doesn't have to be the only game in town. But I'd like to see something similar stay around.

Thoughts on Schools

I've been mulling over this article by Zombie and accompanying pictures for quite a while. Taking your students out of school for a day to lobby for higher pay for you *cough*andsocialism*cough*? It's awful, and I absolutely believe it is true. I do see it as a bad sign for our country. I just don't see something this extreme happening outside of self-segregated leftist enclaves. YET. My daughter was in no higher than second grade when she informed us that there was now a camera on her school bus. We of course called the school district right away to find out what was going on and why we weren't informed. Is the Musician a little more apt to notice such things than the average kid? Yes. But with all the kids at that rally, aren't the odds high that there would be some child that came home and told mom and dad, "We went on a field trip today?" If the moms and dads weren't on board with this, it couldn't have happened.

I just keep coming back to personal responsibility. Mr. BTEG and I talk a lot to our daughters, not only about what they are learning in school, but about world events, what we watch on television, what we and they are interested in. We are also blessed that in our school district we do get to see most of what they are learning. The Musician can bring any of her school books home, and so can the Dancer. Projects the girls did were proudly displayed before being taken to school. The Dancer's school sent home piles of completed schoolwork. The Musician did find one of her teachers this year seemed to be a little leftist, but it barely came out during the course of the school year. Neither of the girls was ever told to tell her parents to support the local school levies. If they were told that, they would know we as parents make up our own minds about things. They do get the evolutionist line in their science classes, but they're going to get that everywhere even as adults. They're learning the valuable lesson that what adults tell them, even teachers, isn't always true.

Are there socialists at my daughters' schools? Probably. Are all of them socialists? I doubt it. What are the odds? Do I believe that everyone in this town is a socialist? Despite the fact that we are in a suburb of Cleveland, in some ways this really is like living in a small town. Lots of people who grew up here, stay here and have their own families here. Teachers live in our neighborhoods. Some of them are from prominent families in the area. We get to know them. One of the teachers at the high school has a daughter who takes a dance class with the Dancer. I was very shocked when I and another parent were talking about all the chaos done by the teachers' union in Wisconsin, and his reply was that Fox had just made all that up!! But I don't think he's a socialist. He's just an ill-informed man. Other Parent and I were very quick to inform him how good teachers currently have it. Tenure? Guaranteed yearly raises? Health insurance completely paid for? Retirement pay? Ha! Who in the private sector has seen those things in decades? But I got to have face-to-face communication with this teacher, and tell him where I stand. I doubt that the parents of those children at the rally get the same privilege. If they even want it. We do have to fight for schools that actually teach facts and useful knowledge instead of political mantras and slogans. But we aren't all hopelessly lost out here in public school land.

Something I Like to See

My town seems to really be stepping up and dealing with economic reality. Local teachers have agreed to a pay freeze, step freeze, and paying more for their health care. Police, firefighters, city council and the mayor are also not getting raises for the next year. I'm proud! How many of you or your loved ones have gotten raises any time recently? I don't even remember the last time Mr. BTEG saw a raise. It's difficult for everyone, but if our family's income is not increasing, I don't want to lose more out of our paychecks for local services. That makes sense, doesn't it?

Don't get me started on health care. I will say that I posted a while ago on how adults up to 26 years old will be able to be on their parents' policies. A teacher at our church, who works at a small parochial school, has now lost her health insurance for herself and her daughters because of this. The school cannot afford to pay for the extra people who would have to be covered, so they just dropped health care insurance altogether. We are really helping "the workers," "the little people," aren't we?

I Should Have Known

that the air conditioning issue was indeed going to turn into the Air Conditioning Saga. Repairman came out today, only to find that the unit is shot because it ran out of refrigerant at some point. It is recommended the whole thing be replaced. At least we don't have to pay for that! And speaking of paying for it, the HVAC company somehow managed to not have any records about our landlord, so I had to give the repairman our credit card number. Fortunately, that issue seems to have been resolved already, so we shouldn't even get charged.

The repairman was worried about how I was taking the news because my hands were shaking. I didn't realize it was always that obvious. They have shaken for as long as I can remember, because I remember kids in grade school making fun of me about it. (Everybody remembers what they got made fun of for in grade school!) I think low-ish blood pressure is the cause, although I don't think the medication I am on helps.

I was always a lot of fun when donating blood. I had to wiggle my feet and my toes to get the blood to flow at a reasonable rate. I haven't donated in ages, however. The last time I gave blood, I was completely babied; laid down the whole time, had my cookies and lemonade brought to me. (When you tell them that you passed out the time before, they tend to take it easy on you.) I was still sick for the rest of the day.

Repairman is supposed to come out tomorrow to do an estimate. I will give you updates as they occur!

Looking Around

I hope this doesn't turn into the Saga of the Air Conditioner, but there was a mix-up and we didn't have a repair guy come out today after all. Now we're looking at Wednesday, sooner if someone else cancels. Fortunately, the weather will not be too stifling in the meantime. Sadly, I wasn't feeling too well today, so I won't be posting anything very exciting until at least tomorrow. :) I hate not feeling well so often. It makes it worse when I compare myself to other people, because of course I look at the people who seem to accomplish everything and never have any problems. Then there are certain forums that I visit and I am reminded that everyone's life is not perfectly smooth all of the time. It's a constant go-round!

Cooling Off

I feel normal again today! Our air conditioning unit needs a cleaning/tune-up/whatever. The HVAC guy is finally coming out tomorrow. In the meantime, we've been suffering in the heat. It's amazing how much the high temperatures sapped not only my energy but my interest in anything. Mr. BTEG and I have been seriously depressed this week for no good reason; we can only attribute it to the heat. Today, the outdoor temperature was much more... temperate, and so I think I might make it, after all. I cannot even describe how awful this week has been; it was very surprising. After all, I survived hot summers as a kid, without air conditioning. I don't know what the difference is now, but I will be so happy to be able to have air conditioning back!

Slipping Away

Last week a member of Mr. BTEG's family passed away, and the funeral was on Saturday morning. This man was a first cousin of Mr. BTEG's father, although Mr. BTEG always referred to him as an uncle. This man was also Mr. BTEG's godfather. His death was sad, as death always is. But what made me particularly melancholy is what appears to me at the moment as a sad march through time. It seems not all that long ago that the older generation was passing on: Mr. BTEG's grandparents and others of that generation. Mr. BTEG's own father died relatively young, so he was out of the pattern. But now not only is more of that generation is being lost to us on earth, but we are losing connections and seeing our own mortality more clearly in the big picture of life. This uncle had four children, and they and my husband and sisters-in-law saw a lot of each other as children. It was a happy time when everybody was getting married and starting a life of their own. But that new life also brings new family and responsibilities that change family dynamics. My husband and his sisters weren't sure of all the names of the husbands and wives that had married into the family, not to mention the names of all the children and which children belonged to whom. Grandchildren are even starting to appear.

I thought of cousins and second cousins of my own with whom I enjoyed good times as a child, mostly at family functions. As I married and had my children, I wanted to keep up some of those relationships, and integrate my own family in. But most of these cousins I don't even keep in touch with anymore. Everybody has their own immediate family and their own commitments that involve so much time. I look at my wedding photos and think about how much I miss some of the people in them, and the relationships that we had. But that was when I was a young girl. Now I am a grown woman, and I am moving to the other end of the tier of relationships. I am happy to have my own children, and nieces and nephew, and so it goes.

Another Chapter Ended

The Evil Genius family took to the road this weekend after the death of a family member. Now we're home, and I'm tired, depressed, and thinking about more things than I can deal with. Hopefully my mood will improve tomorrow after a good night's sleep at home, and I will be better able to sort through the experiences of the weekend.

Relief

Mr. BTEG, until recently, worked downtown. I would drop the Musician off at the high school, take Mr. BTEG to the nearby Park-N-Ride, then come home. In the mid-afternoon, I would pick the Musician up from high school. Then, about an hour and a half later, I would go get Mr. BTEG from the Park-N-Ride. I hated the way it broke up my day, and that I had to get up so early (for me, anyway.) But it wasn't until Mr. BTEG got a new job that is not downtown, and started driving our car to work, that I realized how much of a burden our schedule was on me. I feel much happier and freer, even without transportation during the day.

Of course, having one car presents its own difficulties. I'm going to have to drive Mr. BTEG into work and pick him up on the days when the girls have activities. But hey, Mr. BTEG is making more money, too, so we're hoping to pick up a pre-owned vehicle in the not-too distant future. And for what we're saving on bus fare, we can buy more than two tanks of gas. And I can be more productive at my own work here at home!