The Dreary Night

Sometimes I hate the night. Often I feel a disconnect with normal life. Nothing seems to have any value. I wonder why anything is worth putting in any effort. Trying to get to sleep at home after I got out of the hospital was particularly difficult. Everything seemed empty and meaningless, yet I needed to think of something positive in order to get to sleep.

My medicine can often make me very drowsy at night, which means what little "nightlife" I had is pretty much gone. I can certainly put off taking my meds to a later hour, but when your body is used to feeling drowsy at a certain time, it can still be hard to mess up your schedule. It's best for me to stay on a good schedule, anyway.

I actually feel better typing this post. Just knowing that you all are out there is comforting. I suppose it doesn't make a lot of sense, but I don't feel alone with my family spinning on a little ball out in space. There is companionship and fellowship out there to pull me out of myself.

Awake...Asleep

Very tired. Drove to Toledo and back tonight to pick up the Musician. She attended the annual Higher Things youth conference with a church group from that area. I'm hoping I will be able to slow my mind down enough to get to sleep soon. Having to stay awake and alert for several hours only to try to go to sleep soon after is frustrating.

A Change

After four hours of work by the installers this morning, we finally have air conditioning again. I'm feeling relief with my skin, although it will take a while to heal. One positive side effect is that I am drowsy tonight for the first time in a week or more. That feels really good. Actually, I'm too tired to really type much more of anything coherent, so, goodnight!

Another Chapter Ended

The Evil Genius family took to the road this weekend after the death of a family member. Now we're home, and I'm tired, depressed, and thinking about more things than I can deal with. Hopefully my mood will improve tomorrow after a good night's sleep at home, and I will be better able to sort through the experiences of the weekend.

Time Flies When You're Moving

Wow, the days when I don't blog seem to fly by so fast. At least this time I have a good excuse, and that is because we are moving early next week! We are looking at it as a positive, as I think it will be. One of the only negatives I've found so far is that the Dancer will be picked up by the school bus about half an hour earlier. She seems pretty cool with it, though. She's very good about scheduling her shower, lunch packing, etc. Fortunately, both of the girls are very good about getting themselves up, as I am just awful about it. Getting to sleep and getting up at the right times seems to be an issue for bipolar people. I personally also seem to need a lot more sleep than the normal recommended amount. Not sure why this is, but I just try to arrange to get enough.