All That I Need, To Support This Body and Life

The above is a quote from Luther's Small Catechism, at least the version that I learned from. I suppose it made sense to update the language, but at the same time it was odd for my daughters to be learning something from different from what I had memorized.

I've mentioned before how one of my medicines can elevate cholesterol. My try to switch to a different medication didn't work out, so my psychiatrist has me get a complete blood panel every year. This time, the results showed that I am very low on Vitamin D, so I have to take high units of Vitamin D pills, and I'm also taking fish oil in an attempt to help the triglycerides. I also have to find a primary doctor, again. During the past few years, every primary doctor I've had has left local practice. I imagine being a specialist might be more rewarding. I also need to get walking again. Summer in northeast Ohio is not exactly conducive to outdoor exercise because of the humidity, but I'm trying to walk later in the evening, when at least the sun is mostly down. Such a delicate dance to maintain health!

What's Been Keeping Me Busy

My daughter The Dancer and Mr. BTEG went to the Origins gamer convention in Columbus, Ohio last week. The Dancer wanted to cosplay as Princess Anna from Frozen, so I put together this costume for her. She and her daddy did the painting on the front of the bodice (as well as the back.)

Oh, and Mr. BTEG also had his gall bladder removed last month. That was a thing that took up a bit of my time as well.

Thorn In My Side

Does anyone reading this suffer from endometriosis? I'm so tired of putting up with the effects it has on my body. It was particularly bad again today, and I felt like ranting a little about it, as well as seeing if anyone can commiserate. I'm sure lots of people, especially Mr. BTEG, can relate to having a disease that sometimes disables you from doing things that you want to do, no matter what it is.

Quick Note

Emotionally, I'm doing fairly well being off of one of my meds. However, I've been suffering from a lack of sleep, which is not uncommon when stopping this medication. My skin has also gone ballistic, which is not common, but not an emergency situation. I will be seeing my doctor soon, in any case. It has been very difficult to want to blog, though, when I barely have enough energy to sit up straight. Today promises to be better, but I do have a lot of catching up on normal life to do. We'll see where my health and my energy levels take me for a bit.

Of Writing Many Blog Posts, There Is No End

This little paraphrase of King Solomon's words came to me as I was pondering the huge amount of verbiage that spills out of the internet every day. I don't want to become just another "mommy blogger," but I also don't think my niche is simply supplying news links, with a little of my own commentary. There are already a lot of sites out there that do that, some of them very well. I used to enjoy talking about homeschooling, but those days are long gone now. Still, I do get ideas for blog posts, but mostly around 11PM when I'm trying to go to sleep. And even if I write the ideas down, the spark is often gone by the next day. Still, I've always enjoyed writing, and I'd hate to stop doing it. Right now, blogging is the best way for me to work on writing. Plus, it helps me try to organize my thoughts in a coherent fashion. Mr. BTEG or my daughters could tell you how often I spit out some stream of consciousness from my brain that makes little sense to anyone but me. At least when I write, I can go back and correct something that I didn't clarify enough for a reader to understand. Too often I write only a portion of what my brain is processing, so there is no needed context to what I write.

One thing that will be interesting to observe in the future is that, in an agreement between my psychiatrist and myself, I have been completely weaned from one of my bipolar medications. This was largely out of concern for my physical health: a side effect of this drug can be high cholesterol. While I have already found that I'm having negative and self-accusing thoughts again concerning the past, I'm also hoping to combat those using some of the positive thinking I've gained over several years of mental stability. The interesting part is that my brain is not as numb, for lack of a better word, than it was on the medication. Not that I was a zombie before, but I was kind of floating in a sea of calm, thinking very little. I'm wondering if this new medicinal change will help my creativity, while hoping I can retain mental health. We'll see how it goes.

Hello Again

The surgery was successful, and I'm starting to feel more like myself. Being in the hospital, and out of the normal stream of life, I felt almost like I was a different person once I came home and started feeling stronger. I'm paying attention to what's going on in the wider world, but I still need quite a bit of rest. I'm making positive progress, so I'm hoping to be writing more soon.

Gone for a While

I'm having surgery on Wednesday morning, so I might not be around here for a while. I don't own a laptop, so I'll have to feel up to sitting at my computer to actually do any writing. I'm hoping to recover fairly quickly, but I also could take a while to feel better. I'm not going to rush anything. Stay safe out there.

Health

I've been suffering from health problems for the last week or so, which have put a real dent in my day-to-day life, and my blogging has not been important at all. I'm glad I have Mr. BTEG, and I'm glad that I am a stay-at-home mom that can take the time to rest up, and not have to struggle to get back to paid employment. I've been going through some depression which was related tangentially to my other issues, so that's why the blogging went down. But I have a good Christmas to look forward to, plus the Musician's 18th birthday! So I guess I'm feeling better. :)

Update and Good News

Went to the doctor this morning, and my bone fracture is healing. The doctor seemed kind of surprised at this(!); maybe it's just his years of experience talking there. I'm going back in three weeks, and may get the okay to ditch this stupid boot that I have to wear at that time. In the meantime, I get to do exercises to strengthen the muscles. I will be very thankful if surgery is not in my future.

Consequences

If you give the government almost unlimited control because you agree with them, you may find out that they are using that control to do things in private that you may not agree with. Like give birth control pills, IUDs, NuvaRings and the Plan B pill to minors without parental consent. I was able to find one doctor after a quick search who disagrees with the plan to distribute birth control to students without parental consent, even though it is the Evil Fox News. The doctor has a point, however. Birth control can have serious side effects, which necessitate a thorough medical evaluation, and simple birth control does not prevent STDs. How is it right to give a minor medication, without any medical supervision, which could possibly cause blood clots, high cholesterol or high blood pressure? The NuvaRing has indeed caused blood clots which might potentially be fatal. Actually, I take this news pretty personally, because over seven years ago, my husband and I lost a friend due to a blood clot that entered his lungs. We didn't know at the time that I wrote that post what had killed him; we discovered at the funeral that time spent in bed with kidney issues caused a blood clot to move. So yes, blood clots can be fatal. No matter how hard we try, intercourse is not consequence free, no matter how much people wish it was, and risking lives to try to sweep the consequences under the rug is criminal. Risking minors' lives without the consent of their parents is even worse.

Oh, and a great couple of lines from the original article. Referring to Mona Davids, parent of the NYC Parents Union: "Davids, who is black, noted that most school-based health centers are in poor neighborhoods. 'This was population control on blacks and Latinos without our knowledge,' she said." Somewhere, Margaret Sanger is saying, "Duh."

Health Issues

Remember when I told you that I hurt my foot? The pain was not bad, but had never completely gone away, so I mentioned it at a check-up at the doctor's last week. After some x-rays were taken, they found a fractured bone in the foot. Oops. So now I'm wearing a boot and I'm going to be getting some sort of electromagnetic treatment to try to encourage the fracture to heal. There will be a re-check in a month.

In this case it was a good thing that the initial doctor that I saw was at the Cleveland Clinic's big health building. I was able to head right downstairs and get x-rays without an extra trip.

On the bad side, we only have a car with a manual transmission, so I can't drive for a month even though the injury is to my left foot. At least the Musician has her learner's permit.

I also need to get a crown on the tooth that broke. I feel like I am falling apart.

Yet Another Reason

to believe that Gaia worship is a religion: the LA City Council is encouraging its residents to avoid eating meat on Mondays. For some vague, feel-good ideas about saving the planet, contributing to health and avoiding illnesses. If we say the right things, do the right things, perhaps the Nature God will favor us with plentiful "plant-based" foods, good health and no natural calamities. In the end, it's all about what we do, though. Like so many other religions are.

You know, abstaining from random sex and not having a lot of sexual partners, whether hetero- or homosexual, would "reverse some of our nation's most common" diseases. I guess temple prostitutes are cool with Gaia.

Thinking Straight

About the concentration thing. I've been having a seriously hard time lately finishing sentences (for those who know me well, it's always been a problem; it's just gotten worse.) I find it hard to write things like blog posts when there is other noise from a television show or video game going in the room. I can't always think of a word that I want to use to say something. There may be health issues at play here, but I'm hoping that things will also improve when the girls go back to school. I enjoy having them at home; I enjoy spending time with them, but even with limited television viewing and video game playing, there is still a lot more noise when they are here. I'm starting to miss having my weekdays at home all to myself. Fortunately, school starts soon. We'll see how things go after that.

Starting Over. And Over.

Crazy week. Not more actual activity going on, but being slightly sick for a good part of the week made things tougher. Actually, we got fewer things done. But the week is almost over, which is a relief.

I consider it rather Providential how many opportunities we are given to make a "fresh start." A new day, a new week, a new month, a new year. Because there are chances for self-improvement. Not in the theological "God wants me to be a better person" kind of way, but people can make positive changes. Eat less. Stay off the computer more. Spend more time with the kids/spouse. And every day, His mercies are new, and we have a chance to change something. Even if it was messed up the day before.

Goodbye Sunlight

I may have to up my Vitamin D intake; I really crashed hard today. Mr. BTEG and his sister both suffer from levels of Vitamin D that can get low enough to be dangerous. It may have a bigger impact on our health than we think. It would help explain why people in third world countries don't seem to get autoimmune disorders, if the Vitamin D were a cause and not just a symptom.

Bleah

I'm unhappy. I seem to have developed some kind of skin allergy to something outside. I base this on the fact that, without air conditioning, I'm feeling like I have chicken pox or something. My skin has been rashy and itchy even on the days that it was cooler. Today, some of my skin has even transitioned from itchy to raw feeling. And Mr. BTEG forgot the Benadryl when he went shopping this morning.

I've always had sensitive skin; I'm sure I've mentioned this here before. So I'm already using the soaps and laundry detergents for sensitive skin. I'm guessing that I haven't seen this skin issue before because we usually spend the summer in air conditioning. But thanks to the Air Conditioning Saga, I get to spend almost a week more feeling itchy.

We're spending some time over the holidays with my in-laws, but even then, a lot of the time we will be outdoors at a family picnic. We'll see if whatever it is that I'm allergic to will affect me there.

I Should Have Known

that the air conditioning issue was indeed going to turn into the Air Conditioning Saga. Repairman came out today, only to find that the unit is shot because it ran out of refrigerant at some point. It is recommended the whole thing be replaced. At least we don't have to pay for that! And speaking of paying for it, the HVAC company somehow managed to not have any records about our landlord, so I had to give the repairman our credit card number. Fortunately, that issue seems to have been resolved already, so we shouldn't even get charged.

The repairman was worried about how I was taking the news because my hands were shaking. I didn't realize it was always that obvious. They have shaken for as long as I can remember, because I remember kids in grade school making fun of me about it. (Everybody remembers what they got made fun of for in grade school!) I think low-ish blood pressure is the cause, although I don't think the medication I am on helps.

I was always a lot of fun when donating blood. I had to wiggle my feet and my toes to get the blood to flow at a reasonable rate. I haven't donated in ages, however. The last time I gave blood, I was completely babied; laid down the whole time, had my cookies and lemonade brought to me. (When you tell them that you passed out the time before, they tend to take it easy on you.) I was still sick for the rest of the day.

Repairman is supposed to come out tomorrow to do an estimate. I will give you updates as they occur!

Looking Around

I hope this doesn't turn into the Saga of the Air Conditioner, but there was a mix-up and we didn't have a repair guy come out today after all. Now we're looking at Wednesday, sooner if someone else cancels. Fortunately, the weather will not be too stifling in the meantime. Sadly, I wasn't feeling too well today, so I won't be posting anything very exciting until at least tomorrow. :) I hate not feeling well so often. It makes it worse when I compare myself to other people, because of course I look at the people who seem to accomplish everything and never have any problems. Then there are certain forums that I visit and I am reminded that everyone's life is not perfectly smooth all of the time. It's a constant go-round!

Mental Exercises

It's been a tough month here at la Casa de Evil Genius. Mr. BTEG still continues to suffer health issues; although new medical possibilities seem to be on the horizon, we still have a little longer to wait on them. Thus in many ways I feel at times like a single mother. There are a lot of things that my dear husband just is not physically capable of doing at the moment. I am extremely thankful that Mr. BTEG is able to be gainfully employed, at least.

Of course, we're also feeling the same financial crunch that a lot of other families are. In some odd way, I do enjoy the challenge of stretching the budget, finding ways to lower our gas and electric bills, looking everywhere for things to cut. Although, as some author who I can't remember put it, it resembles the exhilaration the Texans must have felt at the Alamo. Still, if you are a fighter, a challenge can give you something to live for, to work for.

Too much stress is not good for anyone. As a person with mental health issues, I have found it particularly hard to deal with. I try to be involved in as few outside activities as possible, to put as few demands on myself as possible. Health and finances, one could say, are attacking from within. I was really letting things get to me, until I saw how much I could be doing to help, often in small ways, but still making things better. It's amazing how often we see the problems of others as being so easy to solve, but can't see a way around our own. I think that's because it's hard sometimes to change what you've become used to, even if it puts you in a bad place. Certainly we value different things, so what one person would find easy to give up, another might declare next to impossible. Still, I remember being in group therapy and seeing people whose difficult situations were exacerbating their mental health issues, and yet the one thing they couldn't seem to do was take a step to bring things around. This is certainly not an upbeat, sun-will-come-out-tomorrow kind of post. This is just me saying that I've found some adjustments I can make which hopefully will improve my quality of life.

The Modern Church

Incense kicks off people's asthma (among them, my husband.) Recovering alcoholics would like grape juice instead of wine for the Eucharist. Others need gluten-free wafers for the host. Me, I have OCD, and as I have said before, using the common cup for the Eucharist, for me, is liking kissing everyone in church on the mouth. Fortunately, our church allows dipping the host in the cup. I see the arguments for a common cup, but I personally wouldn't mind individual being an option, because of my own frailties. Obviously things that affect health are more important than OCD.

Where am I going with this? Just thinking how many things are happening in the life of the church that St. Paul and Luther and probably even Walther would never have dreamed of. I wonder what kind of human idiosyncrasies affected the church in their days?