Moving On, Moving Out

Another life change has happened here at Casa de Evil Genius: the Musician has moved out. It's been an adjustment, having only one daughter at home. I miss having the Musician around, but it's also freeing. Most of our homes have been on the crowded side, and it's nice just having the space. And the Musician was very happy and eager to be more on her own (she's rooming with a friend.) Honestly, it's nice having more time to focus on myself! I've enjoyed being a stay-at-home mom, and I look back very fondly on that time. But it's also nice to be able to work more on my own dreams and ambitions.

Blessed 2013

This year will see the Musician start her senior year of high school, and the Dancer start as a high school freshman. I pray that Mr. BTEG will continue to prosper at his current job; it is the best one he has had in many years. I hope that I can make some of my plans and dreams come true. I hope that all of my friends and blog readers have a blessed 2013.

Hope

One of the only things that keeps me going, is hope. Yes, I have a wonderful husband and two great daughters, and we live in a nice area of metro Cleveland. But in a lot of other ways, we are struggling. I don't want to stay where we are for the rest of my life. I want things in some areas to improve. And without hope that better things might be coming, I could very easily fall into despair.

It's important to say, though, that I can't depend on anyone else for this hope, besides Mr. BTEG. We share common dreams and goals, and work towards things together. Yes, God does send his blessings to all. But things won't necessarily fall out of the sky either. Sometimes God provides for us by giving us the means to earn our daily bread instead of dropping manna. And depending on an other human is a sure way to be disappointed. The dreams that Mr. BTEG and I share are very personal to us. To hope that some great consortium of people will accomplish exactly what you desire is to forget the complexity and conflicting interests of humans. And to hope that there is some benevolent being out there, besides God, who will just give you everything you need, is just a pipe dream. Not even God gives you everything you need with no effort on your part. And you definitely don't get everything you want, either.

I'm going to accomplish a few things today towards some of my dreams!

Where I Am Is Not Where I Want to Be

I've had a bad week, physically. I know a lot of other people can say this, but right now I am just so resentful of all that my health issues have taken from me. I suppose part of it is a mid-life crisis thing, but I look at how much of my life is gone and how little I have done of what I wanted to do. I'm married and raising a family, which I wanted to do, and I didn't have any big plans for traveling the globe or whatnot until the girls were this age or older anyway, but a lot of my little personal dreams and goals seem to have been set aside so often due to mental issues and their effects on me. And yet I'm still oddly hopeful. Next week, for example, the girls have their Spring Break. I'm hoping it will be a good week. Hoping I feel better for this special weekend as well.