Selling Online

I like to surf eBay, checking out the sections that sell stuff that I am interested in. Sometimes I buy something if the price is right. Mostly I just look. I would really love to email some of these people privately and ask them why on earth they have their auctions set up the way that they do. I could probably create a book or a DVD on how to improve your online auctions, but since I'm a giver, I'll share a few tips for free.

1. Rotate your pictures to the correct view. It's really hard to get a good look at an item when it is sideways. I'm not sure what viewer I use to see my photos (hopefully Mr. BTEG will chime in here) but I can rotate pictures there easily. I think eBay even offers you an opportunity to rotate pictures while you are uploading them. Find a way to do this.
2. I am interested in dolls and things related to dolls, which means taking pictures of small things, preferably close up to get a better view. Seriously, if your digital camera doesn't have a macro feature, find someone who has one. Make friends with someone who has a camera with this feature, just because he has it. A blurry picture, or a picture taken from far enough away to keep the picture from being blurry, does not really display your item to its best advantage.
3. Pay attention to the lighting. A blurry picture is only better than a blurry picture taken in the shadows. Some people who sell big ticket items very seriously online, have a photo tent with lights placed at several angles, to get the absolute best effects. This isn't an necessity. Take your item to a window and use the light from that big thing in the sky with which God has blessed us. Use a bright light inside your home, or even two, if it's winter or whatever.
4. Be descriptive. Believe it or not, there are people who sell something like, say, doll furniture, where measurements are really important, who don't offer any measurements in the description. OTOH, if you are selling a well-known brand of doll, you don't really need to give the height of a doll. People generally know what size the goddess of pink plastic is.
5. Pick a good background. People really don't need or want to see everything on your kitchen counters, or all the assorted piles of papers and whatnot in your computer area. There has to be a blank wall somewhere in your home.
6. Pay attention to where your auction ends up. Every now and then I see an auction for a full-sized adult piece of furniture in the doll furniture section, or something similar. eBay does let you search for the right category by typing in keywords, but it is up to you to make sure your item is in the best category, or even the right category.
7. Don't throw stuff into your auction just because you want to get rid of it. I wonder about doll furniture auctions where a doll, sometimes a very obscure or ugly doll, is included with the furniture. Maybe some people say, hey, I'd like to buy a piece of doll furniture for which I have no doll that I could display with it. And I have no preference on what kind of doll I would like. I would imagine this doesn't apply to the majority.

I also have the observation that sales in the doll sections really seem to have decreased. Some items are still popular, and some are absolutely incomprehensible to me. I don't understand why people would pay up to $100 for an outfit for a Titanic doll, especially when there are multiples of the same outfit listed at the same time, and more being listed almost every day. But in general, things are just not selling. You can scroll through a page of almost 200 items where most of them have no interest. I wonder if the auctions for, say, practical items like kids' clothing have gone up as people are looking to save money there.

The Saga Continues

Since I'm tired tonight, I will just give a quick update on the Air Conditioning Saga. It was determined that we need a whole new air conditioner. Air conditioner wouldn't even run; it tripped off the breaker every time instead. Fortunately, it has been fairly cool, although rainy, which means running around the house closing the windows when it rains. Good thing the weather has not been too unbearably hot, since the air conditioner is not scheduled to be replaced until July 7th.

Unfortunately, my skin has been unusually itchy. For a while I had some good heat rash going on, but that hasn't been so much of an issue the last few days. Since we're getting rain just about every day, the humidity is high, so I'm guessing it's some sort of outdoor allergy. I'm using cortisone sparingly and looking forward to closing the windows to see what happens.

The Good, the Bad, the Not Really There Yet

Today was a difficult day. Some of it was due to... stuff that happens. Like the battery dying in our car, so that the Dancer and I missed her first summer jazz class and our first Mom/Daughter summer ballet class. The Musician not being careful enough with bleach, so my only wear-out-shirt now has bleach spots. But some of it was related to my old enemy, bipolar. It's a difficult line to walk. I'm not the kind of person to just go off her medication. It's not really any fun in the long run. Heck, since I tend to cycle rather quickly, it's not very fun in the short run, either. But the medication does not exactly make you normal. Some of the parts of you that were good can get lost on the medication, and you miss them. I'm going to have a chat with my psychiatrist and see if a change might help. At this point, I'm willing to try a little medication roulette if I can get back some of my energy and enthusiasm for life.

Bleak

Do you all of you out there know what reborn dolls are? They are mass-produced dolls that are redone using paint (down to tiny veins,) rooted hair, and appropriate stuffing or filling to imitate an actual newborn baby. Magnets can be used to give the baby a pacifier. It's not my thing, but then most people would probably think I was strange for collecting dolls at all, so there you are. But tonight on eBay was a first for me: a reborn baby vampire doll. Creepy! Not to mention, how do vampires have babies anyway? Besides that whole Twilight thing which is probably at fault for a lot of this current vampire craze anyway. I suppose some people would like the sweetness and innocence of a baby combined with the darkness of a vampire--or they want to pretend they have Edward Cullen's love child. It just seems a little too ghoulish for me.

Our culture seems to be ever more fascinated with death, darkness and things that go bump in the night. It may be more of an issue to me because of my illness. If I am not careful, I can get pulled into the abyss easier than most. But thinking of the idea of "the culture of death" that some have thrown around, due to the acceptance, and in some cases encouragement, of abortion and euthanasia, I wonder. Non-Christians have every right to collect a doll created after the Death Tarot card, or be drawn to gloominess and cemeteries. Am I overreacting to wonder if our culture can wonder too far down the path into darkness? What do you see in your world?

Hanging On to a LIttle

So. I got a lot of stuff about school out there yesterday. It seems kind of strange and disjointed, perhaps. All I can say is, the feelings homeschool moms have when they are told they are ruining their children or doing something wrong or whatnot? I have those feelings too, but in this case it is about my kids being indoctrinated and not getting to explore their own interests and not getting enough depth, and on and on. Mr. BTEG and I know that we are doing what is best for our family, so I don't exactly feel guilt. I just want to say that there is room, and use, for the basic public school idea. There are a lot of things that could be changed about schools, and I think the addition of charter schools and more freedom for homeschool would be great. But the large school really fits our needs at the moment. It doesn't have to stay "public;" it doesn't have to be the only game in town. But I'd like to see something similar stay around.

Thoughts on Schools

I've been mulling over this article by Zombie and accompanying pictures for quite a while. Taking your students out of school for a day to lobby for higher pay for you *cough*andsocialism*cough*? It's awful, and I absolutely believe it is true. I do see it as a bad sign for our country. I just don't see something this extreme happening outside of self-segregated leftist enclaves. YET. My daughter was in no higher than second grade when she informed us that there was now a camera on her school bus. We of course called the school district right away to find out what was going on and why we weren't informed. Is the Musician a little more apt to notice such things than the average kid? Yes. But with all the kids at that rally, aren't the odds high that there would be some child that came home and told mom and dad, "We went on a field trip today?" If the moms and dads weren't on board with this, it couldn't have happened.

I just keep coming back to personal responsibility. Mr. BTEG and I talk a lot to our daughters, not only about what they are learning in school, but about world events, what we watch on television, what we and they are interested in. We are also blessed that in our school district we do get to see most of what they are learning. The Musician can bring any of her school books home, and so can the Dancer. Projects the girls did were proudly displayed before being taken to school. The Dancer's school sent home piles of completed schoolwork. The Musician did find one of her teachers this year seemed to be a little leftist, but it barely came out during the course of the school year. Neither of the girls was ever told to tell her parents to support the local school levies. If they were told that, they would know we as parents make up our own minds about things. They do get the evolutionist line in their science classes, but they're going to get that everywhere even as adults. They're learning the valuable lesson that what adults tell them, even teachers, isn't always true.

Are there socialists at my daughters' schools? Probably. Are all of them socialists? I doubt it. What are the odds? Do I believe that everyone in this town is a socialist? Despite the fact that we are in a suburb of Cleveland, in some ways this really is like living in a small town. Lots of people who grew up here, stay here and have their own families here. Teachers live in our neighborhoods. Some of them are from prominent families in the area. We get to know them. One of the teachers at the high school has a daughter who takes a dance class with the Dancer. I was very shocked when I and another parent were talking about all the chaos done by the teachers' union in Wisconsin, and his reply was that Fox had just made all that up!! But I don't think he's a socialist. He's just an ill-informed man. Other Parent and I were very quick to inform him how good teachers currently have it. Tenure? Guaranteed yearly raises? Health insurance completely paid for? Retirement pay? Ha! Who in the private sector has seen those things in decades? But I got to have face-to-face communication with this teacher, and tell him where I stand. I doubt that the parents of those children at the rally get the same privilege. If they even want it. We do have to fight for schools that actually teach facts and useful knowledge instead of political mantras and slogans. But we aren't all hopelessly lost out here in public school land.

Something I Like to See

My town seems to really be stepping up and dealing with economic reality. Local teachers have agreed to a pay freeze, step freeze, and paying more for their health care. Police, firefighters, city council and the mayor are also not getting raises for the next year. I'm proud! How many of you or your loved ones have gotten raises any time recently? I don't even remember the last time Mr. BTEG saw a raise. It's difficult for everyone, but if our family's income is not increasing, I don't want to lose more out of our paychecks for local services. That makes sense, doesn't it?

Don't get me started on health care. I will say that I posted a while ago on how adults up to 26 years old will be able to be on their parents' policies. A teacher at our church, who works at a small parochial school, has now lost her health insurance for herself and her daughters because of this. The school cannot afford to pay for the extra people who would have to be covered, so they just dropped health care insurance altogether. We are really helping "the workers," "the little people," aren't we?

I Should Have Known

that the air conditioning issue was indeed going to turn into the Air Conditioning Saga. Repairman came out today, only to find that the unit is shot because it ran out of refrigerant at some point. It is recommended the whole thing be replaced. At least we don't have to pay for that! And speaking of paying for it, the HVAC company somehow managed to not have any records about our landlord, so I had to give the repairman our credit card number. Fortunately, that issue seems to have been resolved already, so we shouldn't even get charged.

The repairman was worried about how I was taking the news because my hands were shaking. I didn't realize it was always that obvious. They have shaken for as long as I can remember, because I remember kids in grade school making fun of me about it. (Everybody remembers what they got made fun of for in grade school!) I think low-ish blood pressure is the cause, although I don't think the medication I am on helps.

I was always a lot of fun when donating blood. I had to wiggle my feet and my toes to get the blood to flow at a reasonable rate. I haven't donated in ages, however. The last time I gave blood, I was completely babied; laid down the whole time, had my cookies and lemonade brought to me. (When you tell them that you passed out the time before, they tend to take it easy on you.) I was still sick for the rest of the day.

Repairman is supposed to come out tomorrow to do an estimate. I will give you updates as they occur!

Looking Around

I hope this doesn't turn into the Saga of the Air Conditioner, but there was a mix-up and we didn't have a repair guy come out today after all. Now we're looking at Wednesday, sooner if someone else cancels. Fortunately, the weather will not be too stifling in the meantime. Sadly, I wasn't feeling too well today, so I won't be posting anything very exciting until at least tomorrow. :) I hate not feeling well so often. It makes it worse when I compare myself to other people, because of course I look at the people who seem to accomplish everything and never have any problems. Then there are certain forums that I visit and I am reminded that everyone's life is not perfectly smooth all of the time. It's a constant go-round!

Cooling Off

I feel normal again today! Our air conditioning unit needs a cleaning/tune-up/whatever. The HVAC guy is finally coming out tomorrow. In the meantime, we've been suffering in the heat. It's amazing how much the high temperatures sapped not only my energy but my interest in anything. Mr. BTEG and I have been seriously depressed this week for no good reason; we can only attribute it to the heat. Today, the outdoor temperature was much more... temperate, and so I think I might make it, after all. I cannot even describe how awful this week has been; it was very surprising. After all, I survived hot summers as a kid, without air conditioning. I don't know what the difference is now, but I will be so happy to be able to have air conditioning back!

Slipping Away

Last week a member of Mr. BTEG's family passed away, and the funeral was on Saturday morning. This man was a first cousin of Mr. BTEG's father, although Mr. BTEG always referred to him as an uncle. This man was also Mr. BTEG's godfather. His death was sad, as death always is. But what made me particularly melancholy is what appears to me at the moment as a sad march through time. It seems not all that long ago that the older generation was passing on: Mr. BTEG's grandparents and others of that generation. Mr. BTEG's own father died relatively young, so he was out of the pattern. But now not only is more of that generation is being lost to us on earth, but we are losing connections and seeing our own mortality more clearly in the big picture of life. This uncle had four children, and they and my husband and sisters-in-law saw a lot of each other as children. It was a happy time when everybody was getting married and starting a life of their own. But that new life also brings new family and responsibilities that change family dynamics. My husband and his sisters weren't sure of all the names of the husbands and wives that had married into the family, not to mention the names of all the children and which children belonged to whom. Grandchildren are even starting to appear.

I thought of cousins and second cousins of my own with whom I enjoyed good times as a child, mostly at family functions. As I married and had my children, I wanted to keep up some of those relationships, and integrate my own family in. But most of these cousins I don't even keep in touch with anymore. Everybody has their own immediate family and their own commitments that involve so much time. I look at my wedding photos and think about how much I miss some of the people in them, and the relationships that we had. But that was when I was a young girl. Now I am a grown woman, and I am moving to the other end of the tier of relationships. I am happy to have my own children, and nieces and nephew, and so it goes.

Another Chapter Ended

The Evil Genius family took to the road this weekend after the death of a family member. Now we're home, and I'm tired, depressed, and thinking about more things than I can deal with. Hopefully my mood will improve tomorrow after a good night's sleep at home, and I will be better able to sort through the experiences of the weekend.

Relief

Mr. BTEG, until recently, worked downtown. I would drop the Musician off at the high school, take Mr. BTEG to the nearby Park-N-Ride, then come home. In the mid-afternoon, I would pick the Musician up from high school. Then, about an hour and a half later, I would go get Mr. BTEG from the Park-N-Ride. I hated the way it broke up my day, and that I had to get up so early (for me, anyway.) But it wasn't until Mr. BTEG got a new job that is not downtown, and started driving our car to work, that I realized how much of a burden our schedule was on me. I feel much happier and freer, even without transportation during the day.

Of course, having one car presents its own difficulties. I'm going to have to drive Mr. BTEG into work and pick him up on the days when the girls have activities. But hey, Mr. BTEG is making more money, too, so we're hoping to pick up a pre-owned vehicle in the not-too distant future. And for what we're saving on bus fare, we can buy more than two tanks of gas. And I can be more productive at my own work here at home!

Holiday Parade

The family attended the local Memorial Day parade today. The Musician marched in the high school marching band. The Dancer's friend rode on a float created by the local dance school. (I like the school the Dancer attends better.) Lots of flags and red, white and blue. Also lots of candy tossed by paraders. After the parade there was a small program at the local cemetery. I have blogged about the cemetery here.

I'm getting over awkwardness at thanking a member of the military in person for his service. I still find any kind of Memorial Day tribute I can put into words, embarrassingly cheesy. Still feeling it, all the same.

Too Much of a Good Thing

Remember that little container garden that we started earlier this spring? Well, we have been getting so much rain that we have to drag the containers under shelter so they do not get any more water. I can only hope farmers' fields are draining better than our little pots. We don't need the price of food to go up more than it has! As it is, I'm hoping we can plant more containers next year. I discovered our town has a small community garden, but I think all the plots are taken. There is still a bit of open land in this area, now that I think about it. I wonder if more of it will be reverting back to farmland?

Get Me My Rocking Chair

I'm asking for your input today: what do you think about people who work in service jobs (cashiers, waiters, bartenders etc.) who have facial piercings or a myriad of visible tattoos (facial or otherwise)? It seems to be more and more accepted and I find it off-putting, and therefore perhaps not acceptable for a job where you interact all day with the public. Mr. BTEG broached the idea that perhaps this is just because I am getting older. While this is certainly a possible solution, I still harbor this crazy idea that permanent additions to one's face or hands, especially, might be a little different. This trend of increased piercings and/or ink will probably continue (they currently have at least one cable show about a tattoo parlor,) and prove me wrong. But I'd like to know whether you find such bodily decorations bleah, meh, or yeah.

On that subject, yes, the girls are wearing their skirts almost impossibly short at the moment. That doesn't alarm me so much; girls have been trying to shorten their skirts for decades. They've been trying to slyly break the fashion rules to attract the opposite sex for centuries. What I don't understand is why adults seem to be letting it slide. Everyday I dropped the Musician off at school, I saw girls with skirts that barely covered their posteriors. During a concert/fundraiser for the school band department, one girl was sitting in the front row, wearing a skirt so short that you could see all the way up her legs. Fortunately, she was wearing black tights, so there wasn't really all that much visible. But is this how the band director wants his band represented? Does a school's dress code (or lack thereof) mean anything anymore? Or have we been flashed by so many celebrities that it's all just old news? Is this when I start yelling at kids to get off my lawn?

Bad Weather

Our little bit of excitement for the night was going to the Dancer's orchestra concert and being told before the program started that everyone needed to get to the basement. Seeing how the weather was shaping up on the way to the school, I was really not surprised. Before everyone got down the basement, however, the superintendent showed up and told everyone that the concert was canceled and everyone should go home, as the bad weather went by us. The Dancer was not pleased about having her concert canceled almost literally at the last minute, but I imagine they will reschedule it.

This has been an awful spring, hasn't it? So many people have lost their lives, have lost family members, pets, possessions, their homes. The Evil Genius family has its own problems right now, but we also have so much that is good.

Just heard the emergency blurb squawk from the television. Going to see what's up now. May be just a flood warning, though.

Work, School, Family

I care a great deal about children and how they are brought up. Yes, it's important to our future, but children can also be so very vulnerable, and a great deal of their future health and habits and outlooks on life can come from their upbringing. Children need people who care about them, love them, look after them.

It's bad enough that the state of California may need to cut some weeks out of its school year, although not surprising given the long record of financial mismanagement. What made me sad was that the first thought seemed to be not, "What about our childrens' education?", but "Who will watch our kids?" Why is this a bigger issue? I just don't understand it, perhaps because I know so many moms who do manage to stay home with their children, and so many families where when both parents work, they also blow a lot of money. Many of the dual-income parents at my daughter's dance school, for example, have two cars, take a lot of vacations, and pick up pizza or fast food for dinner on their way home from a late afternoon crammed with activities. If more moms stayed home, or worked from home, or worked part-time, etc., day-care slots would not be so "scarce." Of course, sometimes both parents do have to work, or sometimes there is only one parent. But the people who really needed help might find it easier if everybody else, who maybe didn't have to, wasn't going to work also.

For that matter, what do these parents do with children over the summer? This question is never answered. Of course a lot of day-care centers, churches, etc. offer "summer camp" which is basically a glorified day-care for older children. I'm sure they'd love the chance to make more money by extending this service. I also find it odd that the one mother quoted solved the problem of a week off in October by taking her children on vacation. She protests however, that she can't take the kids on vacation for five weeks. Strangely, she is not quoted as saying she can't afford it, or she doesn't have that much vacation time, but "How many times can I go to Happy Hollow?" Is this really her biggest concern, or is she poorly quoted? I have, sadly, seen parents who don't really like being around their children. Is this the case here, where they have to be kept busy on vacation or she gets unhappy being at home with them?

The other thing that stands out to me as making this article poorly written, is the quote at the end by a high school sophomore that points out that there is not much work done at the end of a school year anyway. I won't argue that point. My youngest daughter is taking several field trips, having fun days, and spending some extra time in school practicing for end-of-the-year concerts. But if you shorten the school year, you won't really get rid of "that end-of-the-year mentality." You'll just move it up a bit.

There are lots of things to discuss when deciding to shorten the time our children spend on education. I just think this article didn't emphasize the right ones very well, and made me sad about how we look on watching out for our children.

Let's Have a Party

I miss the big old-fashioned weddings. No, they're really not practical, especially not in a recession. And of course the marriage is more important than the wedding. And the actual wedding ceremony is more important than the reception. But large wedding receptions did something also--they created memories; they stood out. You'll never forget spending time with your friends and family celebrating a momentous event in a family's history. In a time when extended family seems to be drifting apart anyway, getting up to dance and act a little wild and move from table to table or even to a bar (horrors!) seems to me more likely to create some small ties than sitting at a table staring at each other. Sometimes we need to put on our fancy clothes and our impractical shoes and go out and party. It seems there are fewer and fewer opportunities to do so. Why not for something as great as the creation of a new family?

I See We're Back

Just a quick post to say hello now that Blogger appears to be back up most of the way. I see a few missing comments, but it looks like home sweet home otherwise. In my misspent youth as a COBOL programmer, I remember a few occasions when a programmer would accidentally take down the mainframe that was located a few miles away. Good times, good times.

And since we're talking about blogging, I've been meaning to write about how much I have seen my writing skills improve over my long years of blogging, especially since I've picked up the pace again recently. I like writing, but I'm not in a good place right now to do much else other than blog, if I ever got the notion to do more. But it's still nice to improve a skill.

Nothing New Under the Sun

As the Dancer's parents, we received a letter from the principals of the local intermediate, middle and high schools. It contained a urgent plea that parents become aware of what their children are texting, and what they are saying on Facebook. Apparently enough students are affected by rumors and threats posted in these two venues, that their school attendance is suffering, and the schools want the behavior to stop. What the appropriate authorities see when they have stepped in (after kids stop coming to school) is language that is "beyond inappropriate," X-rated, slanderous and/or threatening. Schools are right to be concerned about this kind of activity. What I find interesting is how negatively they look at texts, and Facebook (which word they put in italics for the entire letter.)

Kids have been mean to each other, well, probably since Cain and Abel fought as young boys. Anyone remember Nellie Oleson and Laura Ingalls? It's beyond stereotypical, the mean kids and the nice kids. The only thing that is new is the medium. Granted, texts and posts can reach the entire class with one click, whereas it took a little longer for the rumor mill to work back in the old days. But kids who wish to hurt someone else badly enough are not even shy about saying unkind things to their classmates faces, either. Did you all see that video that went viral a few months back, of the overweight kid hauling off and punching one of the boys who had been teasing him for years about his weight? The aggressor was going so far as to physically push his victim. The Dancer knows very well who the "cool" kids and the "popular" kids in her school are, because they have no compunction with going around and saying so.

Are teachers and school administrators right to be concerned? I think so. Would you like to go to work after the guy in the next cubicle threatens to beat you up at the end of the day? (Sub sandwich commercials notwithstanding.) Or loudly calls you a slut while everyone is in the lunch room? Children should not dread or be afraid of coming to school. But texts and Facebook are not the enemy, and reading all your child's texts and postings (as the letter suggests,) will not stop the malice and the desire to hurt others that lies in the hearts of children.

That's the real problem, you see, that we are all poor miserable sinners. The school can't say that, of course. But what parents really should be doing is teaching their offspring kindness and self-control. We're never going to like everyone. We probably all think unkind, negative things about people. But we should be taught to curb our tongues and not say hurtful things aloud, or seek forgiveness if we fail. If we're Christians, we should even go as far as recognizing that our very thoughts are sinful, and seeking forgiveness from God for them. The real problem is ourselves, as it has ever been.

A Little Piece of Land

I've been feeling kind of cruddy in the mornings lately (don't go there!) but yesterday Mr. BTEG and I did go to the garden center at a local big box hardware store. We're living in a condo at the moment, so a big garden is not feasible, but we are doing a little container gardening. We were successful with tomatoes and green peppers a couple of years ago. This year, we're trying tomatoes, green peppers, strawberries and oregano. We also discovered mint and some kind of onion in the bed at the back of our place.

The front of our home has enough shade that I am going to try some lilies of the valley. I've only tried them once before and they didn't really take; I'm hoping I'll do better this time. I love the smell of lilies of the valley.

We moved into this place last November. It is amazing how much more at home I feel getting a few plants growing and prettying up our entryway outside. We may never have an enormous garden, although goodness knows it would be economical, but it is nice to have a little bit of the outdoors as our own.

Mother, Madre, Mutter

How will you celebrate Mother's Day? At La Casa de Evil Genius, we'll have a meal with my favorite foods: steak, potatoes and bread. Yes, I'm still a Philistine when it comes to food, and I don't think that will change.

Honestly, I never wanted to be anything other than a wife and mother. Yes, I do have my own interests and activities, but I wanted the main focus of my life to be caring for my family and for our home. Most of the time, I don't regret it at all. Sometimes I feel like the world has left me behind, but one of the benefits of having a loving family is having the strength of the others to draw on when one member is feeling discouraged. And after all, my husband and daughters are the ones for whom I work, so if they are happy, I can't be doing too badly, I suppose. :)

Go Kasich

Our governor gave a very good reply to our president, who likes to meddle in state politics; basically, it was that the president better get his own policies in order before he criticizes anyone else.

Also, the president's remarks about shared sacrifice and the burden not falling on just one group of people, infuriates me. The rest of the people here in Ohio that have to work for a living are already suffering. The people who are fortunate enough to even have jobs are finding it harder to make ends meet, while our president plays golf, throws lavish parties, and jets around the nation to appear on talk shows, and the world to give our hard-earned money to other nations. It's about time that union workers see what the world is like for the rest of us.

Hot Air

Since I mentioned the box of sandwich bags that was partially produced via windmills the other day, I thought I would share this little article about how cost and energy efficient windmills actually are. The sandwich bags box implied that windmills provided about 40% of the energy necessary to make the bags. This article, and several other works I've read on the subject, seem to belie that claim. Ask your liberal friends why "green" proponents hate poor people. Higher prices are harder on those who don't have a lot of money (rather a duh statement but some people don't seem to get this stuff.)

Oh, and we have tried the store brand sandwich bags. They didn't really seal. And of course there are plastic containers that can be re-used, but they also need to be washed in between uses, which uses hot water, detergent and electricity to power the dishwasher. And yes, I use a dishwasher; I have skin issues. Why do you hate people with skin issues?

Christians, to the Paschal Victim

A friend who does hymn podcasts has come out with his first hymn video. You can check out his blog here. By the way, one of the churches featured in this video is the one where the Dancer received new life in baptism.

How Does This Work Again?

Liberals are at times pretty open about actually wanting higher gas prices. They want to force things on the public that the public doesn't really want, like little impractical gas-saving cars, preferably hybrid. I have a post simmering in my mind that I may put up when I am not too tired, concerning this desire. However, right now I want to make a quick observation about the unintended consequences.

The main reason liberals want us to drive smaller cars and use less gas, is to "save the environment." Product manufacturers are responding to a market for "green" products. However, green products come at a higher price. Part of this is because recycling is not always cost-efficient, and so products using recycled materials tack on the extra cost. I honestly don't know enough about the manufacture of dishwashing or laundry detergent to know why the green stuff costs more, but generally it does.

However, the sandwich bags I saw at the grocery store today really made me laugh at the craziness of it all. There were two types of bags, made by the same brand name company. One was the regular bag moms have been using in brown bags for years now. The second bag is the new and improved "green" bag. It uses less plastic (better for the environment) and real wind-powered energy to produce the bags! (When the wind is actually blowing, that is. Otherwise, they have to use plain ol' electricity off the grid just like everyone else.) Even the cardboard used to make the box is recycled.

Anyway, after checking to see that they were truthful about the windmill issue, since wind technology is nowhere near being able to steadily power a manufacturing plant, I took a look at the price. What I forgot to do is check how many bags came in each box. I do know that the prices for each box were... equal. A quick trip around the internet seems to suggest that you actually receive fewer green bags for your buck than non-green bags. You get less plastic, reused cardboard, no skyrocketing electricity costs, for a higher or equal price.

So here's the kicker. With gas prices, and necessarily food prices, being as high as they are, how many people are going to shell out the extra dollars for a recycled sponge or flimsier sandwich bags? How many people are looking to cut things out of the budget as much as possible, and will just reach for the cheapest item on the shelf? For that matter, how many people will even take the time and spend the money to drive to a specialty store, where a lot of these special detergents and so forth seem to only be located? Can greenies have it both ways, with higher prices for everything? Human nature being what it is, I doubt it. Lower gasoline costs, and a large percentage of the population will go right back to their minivans and SUVs. The only way I can see it working is if they force non-green products out of the market too. But that, well, that would have consequences too intricate to deal with at the tail end of this post!

Where I Am Is Not Where I Want to Be

I've had a bad week, physically. I know a lot of other people can say this, but right now I am just so resentful of all that my health issues have taken from me. I suppose part of it is a mid-life crisis thing, but I look at how much of my life is gone and how little I have done of what I wanted to do. I'm married and raising a family, which I wanted to do, and I didn't have any big plans for traveling the globe or whatnot until the girls were this age or older anyway, but a lot of my little personal dreams and goals seem to have been set aside so often due to mental issues and their effects on me. And yet I'm still oddly hopeful. Next week, for example, the girls have their Spring Break. I'm hoping it will be a good week. Hoping I feel better for this special weekend as well.

Going On and On

There is so much debate and anger and vitriol going on about schools lately. In the end, what I am thinking about it all boils down to a few things.

1. More money does not provide a better education. You've probably heard this over and over, but my school district is pushing the opposite like crazy since the state is cutting back on funding for all public schools. That is, they are pushing for more money from the local taxpayers by asking us, "You don't want to lose the great school district you have, do you?" I'm not sure if they are deluded enough to believe more money makes a better school district, or if they just want the money. I mean, all of you know that here in the USA, many of the school districts that receive the most funding per child, like our very own Washington, DC, perform the worst academically.

I won't deny that this whole formula can be complicated. There are many wealthy families that live in this school district, which could be used as an argument that of course our schools are better. But my family is far from rich, and there are many less than wealthy neighborhoods in this town. The main issue, I think, is people wanting their children to perform up to their potential. Some parents here do ground their kids for less than an A. I don't agree with that, but I think my kids are more than capable of doing mostly A and B level work, and I wouldn't be happy if they were consistently getting Cs and Ds. Mr. BTEG and I also expect them to pay attention in class, study for tests and do their homework, which goes a long way.

Sure, wealthy families and fancy technology and flashy new textbooks can contribute to a good school district. On the other hand, kids from wealthy families can also spend their time doing drugs and having sex. And a teacher who can't educate without an electronic whiteboard and the latest textbook doesn't really deserve the title of teacher.

2. Teachers cannot be immune to economic downturns. I can understand that teachers don't like the idea of no raises, and/or having to pay more for their pensions and health care, maybe even taking a salary cut. But when unemployment is high and the economy is bad, teachers just can't expect not to have to suffer a little financially as well. It's not always about "greed." Look at how your neighbors are doing, how your city is doing, how your state is doing, before you complain.

Oh, and a pet peeve of mine. Teachers are important. So are firefighters, policemen, EMS workers, doctors, nurses, etc. A small collective of people paying salaries simply can't afford to pay all these important people an "important" salary. An actress can't save a life, but she can get more people to see one of her movies on one day alone than a doctor can see in an entire year. For that matter, I think being a mother, the kind that works hard to raise decent human beings, is the most important job there is. But there is absolutely no pay at all for us. Salary does not equal overall worth.

A lot of words for only two points! But this topic is so loaded that I wanted to make myself clear. Thank you if you made it this far!

Running Away

Many years ago, when my girls were still rather young, I used to have a strong desire at times to pack up what would fit in our minivan, drive off as a family, and start another life. Somewhere else, anywhere else. Now we've committed to one place, getting the girls through one school system, for the next six years. However, I still have the desire for something new. I don't feel like I belong anywhere. I'm tired of being hurt by people, by not connecting with people. And I'm releasing my frustration here, as I really don't have anyone else to talk to about it besides Mr. BTEG. He's great to talk to, but of course having only one person to talk to is not always good enough. So here I am, getting it out. Hope this makes me feel better.

Trapped

I have little to no energy during the day. I get major things done, like dishes, shopping, and driving Mr. BTEG and the girls to where they need to be. Otherwise, I'm a slug. Then, too many late evenings, I am wide awake and full of energy. I'm already taking all of my medications at night, because they can cause drowsiness.

I'm trying to exercise during the day. It's not going very well. Walking bores me to tears, so I have to force myself to do it, and I don't have good shoes to walk in. I am trying to do some ballet, because I actually like that, but my body was complaining, so now I am trying to do stretches beforehand. I feel chunky and awkward doing ballet, even though I find it interesting, but it is not exactly aerobic, either. I used to love to bicycle, but don't have a bike and can't afford a bike, plus it's not practical for a good portion of a year in Ohio anyway. It's not a sufficient excuse, but I don't really have an athletic body. I am not only short, but I have short legs proportionate to my body as well. I feel awkward and funny-looking.

I'm trying to eat better, but it's difficult being such a picky eater. I have to literally force myself to eat a few grapes or some broccoli with dressing or butter. And those are tastes which I can live with. I wonder if my eating affects my energy, but I'm not sure of a correlation. For example, I got no real exercise today and my eating was only so-so, I was blah today but right now my mind is racing and I'm feeling more awake than I have all day.

I'm seeing my psychiatrist soon, so I will talk to her, but I'm not sure what will come of it. The main issue seems to be that I am mostly stable. Other than that, you get told to exercise or handed a pamphlet on healthy eating. I need a little bit of extra help and I'm not sure where to get it.

Stepping Back

Now that I am in my forties and have several decades of life experience, I wish I could talk to my grandparents, my maternal ones in particular, with new eyes. My grandparents died at a time when I was still relatively young; I didn't realize then that many people's grandparents got to spend more years with their grandchildren. My grandfather passed away when I was in high school, my grandmother when I was a senior in college. And my grandmother was never the same after my grandfather died. Sadly, my grandmother never seemed to be very content with her life or her past, which was one of the reasons I think we never talked about it. For most of the time that I really knew my grandmother, she was ill with leukemia. However, she also seemed bitter about her youngest days, spent in Europe in grinding poverty, and her life as a young adult. Understandable, but there could also have been tales of endurance and overcoming hardship.

My grandfather also had a hard life, although typical of the poorer families of the time in this country. He didn't seem to relish much about his past either. So while my youth kept me from even knowing how to ask the kind of questions I would like to ask today, my grandparents also weren't eager to share their experiences.

Which is a long lead-in (whew!) to say that I have been thinking of them quite a bit lately. What we are in now may not match our vague impressions of the Great Depression (no dust bowls, no long unemployment lines), but things are certainly tight financially for so many families. High gas and food prices, high unemployment, real estate markets dried up. If my grandparents could bear to talk about it, I'd love to know what it was like to try to raise a family in those days. What ways did they use to get by? I have ideas of how things might work out today, if life gets harder for the majority, but I'd like to know if my thoughts about a possible future in any way resemble what was in the past. Automobiles, phones, televisions, so many things are different now. Maybe someday I can share wisdom with grandchildren of my own.

Projects

I think I've mentioned before that my attention span is something akin to a toddler's. I also need to have more than one thing going on. I have an awfully hard time getting projects done. I generally only knit, for example, while the Dancer is in one of her classes, because I can multi-task. Watching the Dancer, listening to the music and knitting occupies all of my mind. Just sitting and knitting would bore me immensely. I have two projects I ought to get done before the Easter weekend, as they are birthday gifts that are already rather belated. It just occurred to me the other day that I should make myself a case for my glasses. I have to take them off when I am doing anything close up. Isn't that the opposite of what is normal? Anyway, a case would give me someplace safe to put them. I don't like to just stick them in my purse where my keys and so forth are.

I also do better even at household chores when I have music to listen to. I'm so thankful for satellite radio. It's not that expensive, and I can listen to it on my phone. It is hard to pick up radio stations out here, even though we're definitely part of metro Cleveland. And talk radio, you guessed it, bores me. Plus, the quality of "old school" radio is decreasing. Like so many other things, there is less offered for what I'd imagine is the same amount or more in advertising intake.

Speaking of music, I find it funny and heart-warming that the girls like older music and not just the current pop stuff. The Musician likes AC/DC and GNR, and we can rock out together to "Don't Stop Believing." The Dancer is singing "Footloose" as part of her school concert, so she's all "Been workin', so hard, I'm punchin', my card." It's nice to have things that bring us together. :)

On This Economy Thing

I thought I might as well mention where I get a lot of my economic news from, in case you're interested. I enjoy reading Monty's work at Ace of Spades. He makes things simple for people who are interested in where the economy is going but who aren't steeped in the minutiae of economic policies. Kind of Economics for Dummies. :) On the other hand, he does use a lot of facts and links to make his points. Unlike leftist economic articles I have looked at that say, the economy is not doomed, because shut up, that's why. No concrete evidence or specifics. Here is an example of his latest work. Be warned; Ace of Spades very often has a locker-room atmosphere. But there are also has a large number of readers who consistently comment. Not only are they very knowledgeable, but they are there day after day, so if someone says, I own my own business and we're not hiring until the economy improves, you are more likely to believe a regular than a drive-by commenter.

Here is a good place to get economic analysis in a little bit more detail. He also offers a lot to back up his claims.

Thomas Sowell and Walter E. Williams are economic professors, regular columnists for various publications, and good reads. Here Dr. Williams recently took on the Broken Window Fallacy. In this article he writes what I also believe, that government cannot keep spending at its current rate.

Mr. BTEG pointed out something interesting to me when I was complaining about the leftie friends we have. None of them are what is referred to as a Trustifarian, but they have all lived comfortable lives. They may have never heard, "Sorry, we can't afford that right now." Which probably explains why when I try to talk economics with them, I can't get anywhere. Their argument seems to boil down to: we need it. We need NPR. We need a social safety net. We need, we need, we need. Mom and Dad will pay for it. Or as a rioter in Greece put it, let the rich and the bankers pay for it. There will always be someone to pay for it.

Wandering

I'm having a hard time blogging lately, and I feel at times like just giving it up. The problem is that blogging is one of the few ways I currently have of interacting with the outside world. I've been hesitating about how to write this, because I don't want it to sound like a big Pity Me thing. It's just that I have always found it hard to create real friendships, relationships. I used to think poorly of myself and blame myself for this. Now I wonder if the bipolar is mostly behind it. Becoming more aware of people who are bipolar, at least on the internet, shows that many of them have very few friends, among other things that we have in common.

Oddly enough, my parents did not have a lot of friends either. The people they socialized with the most were a group they had known since they started a "Young Couples' Club" at their church. They were fortunate I suppose in that all the couples stayed intact and in the same area for so many years, even after leaving for other local churches. My mother also is friendly with a former high school classmate, but they had lost track of each other until this classmate became the kindergarten teacher of myself and my sisters. My mother's closest friend all these years is a woman that met my mother at a vacation camp when they were young and single. My father really only seemed to have one friend from his past, and that man sadly killed himself about twenty years ago. Now that I think about it, it's odd that my father didn't keep up any friendships with, for example, people with whom he served in the Navy. Can you believe that only occurred to me while I was writing this?

I've thought about going to bipolar support groups in the area, but never seriously looked into it. I've had bad experiences trying to get involved in groups, and I have to admit I've made excuses about not going without knowing if they are valid, such as location or meeting times. I wonder if I would "click" better with bipolar people?

All Good Things

I love the Greater Cleveland area. I've lived here for most of my forty-something years on earth. I wanted to live here for the rest of my earthly years. But as my readers in this country probably know, the state of Ohio is on the downturn, and the city of Cleveland is trying hard to be the next Detroit. Here's the latest on our race to the bottom: enormous water fee hikes. And why? Because of "falling revenues and declining consumption." That's right; there is less water usage so you get to pay more. Not only that, but most of the increase will be "a fixed fee charged to all customers regardless of how much water they use." So you won't be able to save money out of the new enormous fees even by cutting back on what water you do use.

I also see that the water company is a billion dollars in debt. How does a company that provides a service get that far into debt? In the real world, a business that was losing that much money would go under or cut drastically. From both first hand and anecdotal knowledge, the water company is terrible at both billing and customer service already. But is the problem not enough workers, or incompetent workers? If you've ever dealt with bureaucracy before, I bet you have an answer for that.

So I'm starting to think about our options once our daughters are out of the local school district. It would hurt me for the rest of my life to have to leave this area, but you know what happens to all good things....

Then and Now

The Musician just asked me today if I thought that clinical depression has always been as prevalent as it seems to be now. Of course we can't be sure, but I opined that it has probably always been there at a level at least something close to modern levels. Famous people throughout history are now being diagnosed as having been clinically depressed based on their writings and actions. Abraham Lincoln, for example, showed signs of severe depression, even as a young man. In 1835, according to a biographer, he was so depressed after a death of someone close that he had people with him most of the time to make sure he did not harm or kill himself. But it was probably seen as more of a personality trait than a chemical issue at that time. I'm also thinking of people like the fictional "Mrs. Brewster," with whom Laura Ingalls Wilder boarded as a young teacher. She was definitely heavily depressed at the very least, very likely assisted by gloomy winter days and isolation.

In Julia P. Gelardi's book, Born to Rule, she writes about the behavior of Princess Beatrice, youngest daughter of Queen Victoria, after the death of Beatrice's husband. She would be "crying one moment, raging at a picture of her dead husband the next. After this, the despondent young widow went out to ride her bicycle in heavy mourning. Then she read a book on piety or talked for hours about the small economies being made on all the candles in her homes." Sounds very like bipolar mood swings, or some other mental disturbance.

Then today I also started re-reading Agatha Christie's The Mirror Crack'd from Side to Side. And there is a description of famous fictional movie star Marina Gregg: "It's more that her ups and downs are so violent. You know - far too happy one moment, far too pleased with everything and delighted with everything and how wonderful she feels. Then of course some little thing happens and down she goes to the opposite extreme." In 1962, when the book came out, this was put down to "temperament." Today abnormal highs and lows are bipolar.

John Fixmer asserts in his online article that today Lincoln would very likely not be elected President due to a stigma of mental illness. I'll have to think about this for a while. My moods may fluctuate, but I am still as smart as I have ever been. I read about politics and economics, as well as history and light reading like Agatha Christie. My daughters are turning out to be decent people, based on compliments by others and not just by my biased maternal self. :) Still, stress can severely affect my mood, more than is normal, I think, and I try to avoid it as much as I can. I might want to avoid a press conference or meeting with a foreign leader if I was in a raging manic state. On the other hand, now that I am aware that I do have a chemical imbalance, and the world is not a horrible stinking rotten place even if I feel that it is, I have managed to be in public and not show what is churning inside. Maybe if I felt that leading a country was important enough, and I wanted to do it, being bipolar might not be an issue. I certainly try to control it to be a wife and mother, which I feel are far more important than being a national leader.

The Last Stage Is Acceptance

Many of the political-type writers online that I think make the most sense are saying that a financial collapse is coming for this country. I find their arguments, and the facts they use to make those arguments, persuasive. For one thing, there are several countries in Europe that are well ahead of us on the race to bankruptcy, and we're doing the same things they did. Meanwhile, we're piling up debt in our own country like a soon-to-be divorced woman using her husband's credit cards. What I'm coming to accept is that a lot of people in this country will refuse to see this until we are completely out of money. I don't know why I am surprised. People were making fun of Noah until those raindrops started falling. People were probably making fun of those who predicted bad things at the turn of last century (or so) when we started our slide towards socialism.

There are two things that bother me. One, is that we are very likely going to have to take this ride all the way to the bottom. There are just too many people who don't see impending disaster, who think we just have to "tax the rich" or raise taxes to make things all better. That bothers me because it will not only affect people my age, but my children, grandchildren, and possibly my great-grandchildren. I don't want that for them.

The other thing is, even if my little family manages to prepare adequately (and in this economy and with other difficulties we've had, it's questionable) it's going to be hard watching other people suffer. It's going to be a big shock and there's going to be a lot of unpleasant things to deal with. At least I have an idea that bad times are coming. Some people won't know until those first raindrops start falling.

She's Got Personality

It is fascinating to me to see, now that my two girls are approaching maturity, how much of their characters they have retained even from babyhood. I won't give too many details, to protect the innocent (grin), but here's a few examples.

The Musician has always been extremely laid back. I like to think my good parenting helped with this, but she was an extremely easy baby to care for. The only times I ever remember her getting upset as a baby was making her do something that she didn't want to do. By this I mainly mean things like when I held her down while a dentist corrected her frenulum (she was tongue tied like her mommy.) Let her hang out and play with her toys, and she was fine. She also decided around the age of two, that she was not a girly-girl, and she still isn't.

The Dancer, on the other hand, has always been rather active. That's why I started her in gymnastics in the first place, to positively channel her energy. You might remember that her first nickname on my blog was Wild Child, and she has always deserved it. When she got a little older, she chose ballet for herself, and now she is taking three dance classes per week and assisting with another dance class, and loves it. She spends a lot of her time bouncing and dancing around the house.

I also love seeing bits of myself and Mr. BTEG in some of the things they do, things that seem more inherent to their natures rather than learned. I tried, for example, not to let my picky eating create bad food attitudes for the girls, and fortunately neither of them learned food dislikes from me. Sometimes I wonder if the nurture part of the whole nature/nurture balance consists mainly of teaching them polite manners and things like respect for others. Other than that, they really seem to have chosen their own courses. Of course, Mr. BTEG and I decided before they were born that we wanted to give them free reign, up to a certain point, to develop and express themselves. I know that sadly a child's personal growth can be messed up by such things as an overly strict or overly lenient parent.

Lastly, about the tongue-tied thing. I always thought, because it passed through my maternal grandfather all the way down to my daughter, that it had a strong genetic component. I only know of meeting one other person who was tongue-tied. I find that interesting. I did discover recently that Jeremy Brett, mainly of Sherlock Holmes fame here in the States, also reported himself as tongue-tied, although different sources seem to describe it differently. He was also bipolar and left-handed (they used a "hand double" during scenes where Sherlock was writing although he is shown during one episode boxing left-handed.) I would have loved to meet another tongue-tied, left-handed, bipolar person!

Unrest in Ohio?

Honestly, I haven't been following Ohio's S.B.5 as I should have been. Of course, I don't trust Cleveland's local rag to tell anything but the far-left side of the story, so I avoid them as a source of news. I'm thinking I should get on some sort of news feed to get stories in which I have an interest.

I was glad that S.B.5 passed, but I'm wondering about this story from The Other McCain, in which a lawyer representing the Ohio FOP tells a Ohio Senator who voted for the bill, "Funny thing about cops, they hold grudges." Fortunately, the guy was dumb enough to do it on Facebook, where it was screencapped for posterity. Does this sound like a threat to you? Should Senator LaRose be looking out for a horse head on his bed next??

Sins of the Parents

I'm so tired of seeing the effects of divorce and parental neglect in the lives of too many of the kids that go to high school with the Musician. They're desperate for love and attention, but they don't know how to have real, meaningful relationships, either the dating kind or the friendship kind. I want so badly to mother these kids but I can't fix everything. All I can hope is that I have the right words if God wills me to say something.

Risking It

I made a decision early on to keep my blog completely separate from my Facebook life. That was my personal decision, and it was so I could be completely myself over here. A lot of people that are my "friends" on Facebook are actually extended family and friends/acquaintances I know I don't see eye to eye with on everything. So I could let it rip here and keep my "company manners" for over there. Well, I admit to posting links about egregious things. Like the woman who thought Arizona would have more room to talk about illegal aliens if it was a border state. O_o

However, I've had to speak out to an extended family member and a wife of a college friend recently, both of whom have asked people to call their representatives to keep supporting NPR/PBS with federal money. Their reason: the wife, because she's "addicted" to NPR; the family member, because her child watches PBS shows. Yes, I'm risking ruining relationships with family members and very old friends because I'm ANGRY. My family, a "working family" is barely hanging on in this economy. Lots of "working families" are barely hanging on in this economy. We're probably going to be even worse off when our national economy goes boom. Which it will if we keep on at our current rate. But some people are still like little kids. "Please, Mommy, don't turn off my TV show!" Not that losing federal funding will even guarantee these two stations will go off the air. Sesame Street, or I should say the products sold featuring Sesame Street characters, could probably easily pay for both. Maybe the show should spread the wealth.

Union Blues

My grandfather was a blue collar, union man. Very stubborn. Honestly don't know if he'd accept the rot that today's unions have become. But I'm sure he never would have approved of using his pipefitter's union dues to purchase a golf course. iOwnTheWorld comments on the irony of the class envy: it's only bad when you're not the one doing it. So I was thinking. My grandfather loved opera. Maybe some pipefitters should buy an opera house.

Late Night Weirdness

I had the problem today of my mind racing and not really being able to concentrate on much of anything. I'm starting to wonder how many times I've had this issue and not pinned down what was going on. I used to be on ADD medication, until I was hospitalized and diagnosed as bipolar. Now I'm not sure what to do. I could mention it to my doctor and play a round of medication roulette. Or not.

Speaking of bipolar, I'm also beginning to wonder how much more fun I could be having if I cashed in on it. People have been talking on the interwebs today about how Charlie Sheen might have bipolar or another mental illness. Or maybe he's just addicted to crack. Hey, don't mind my drunken binge! I'm bipolar!

And lastly, what kind of doctor gives a bipolar woman an abnormal boob job? What's next, cutting off limbs for those people who are obsessed with getting rid of them? Oh, and by the way? I feel so ugly without a diamond tiara. I'll be a better role model for my daughters once I get one.

Driving Me Crazy

I'm so glad the weather is beautiful, because I feel like crud. Not because of any illness I have, but because I am just worn out today. Remember how I said it's always easier to solve other people's problems? Well, I feel like I've cut just about everything non-essential out of my life, and can't cut anymore. I think the real issue is that, only having one car, I'm spending a good deal of my life driving people around, and after all, Mr. BTEG can't stop going to work and the Musician can't stop going to high school, can they? And the Dancer, well, there are several good reasons for her to keep dancing. I just keep telling myself that this too shall pass. The Musician is gung ho to get her student driving license this summer; if all goes well she will be a real live licensed driver this coming winter.

It's Pouring Sunshine and Rage

I've been a fan of Plumb for years, but I happened to stumble across this video tonight for a song I hadn't heard before. It says a lot in a few words about the manic state.

Mad World

And it's really kind of funny
It's really kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had

Phoning It In

Via Pastor Peperkorn (on Facebook,) an iPhone app for Confession. What do my Catholic friends think?

I enjoy using the internet for keeping in touch with people that live far away, and I obviously enjoy broadcasting my thoughts and ideas via blogging. But I hope we don't start using things like Skype or cell phones to replace the importance of the physical interaction between the pastor (representing God,) and the congregation. Not that I'm saying that this app does that.

Mental Exercises

It's been a tough month here at la Casa de Evil Genius. Mr. BTEG still continues to suffer health issues; although new medical possibilities seem to be on the horizon, we still have a little longer to wait on them. Thus in many ways I feel at times like a single mother. There are a lot of things that my dear husband just is not physically capable of doing at the moment. I am extremely thankful that Mr. BTEG is able to be gainfully employed, at least.

Of course, we're also feeling the same financial crunch that a lot of other families are. In some odd way, I do enjoy the challenge of stretching the budget, finding ways to lower our gas and electric bills, looking everywhere for things to cut. Although, as some author who I can't remember put it, it resembles the exhilaration the Texans must have felt at the Alamo. Still, if you are a fighter, a challenge can give you something to live for, to work for.

Too much stress is not good for anyone. As a person with mental health issues, I have found it particularly hard to deal with. I try to be involved in as few outside activities as possible, to put as few demands on myself as possible. Health and finances, one could say, are attacking from within. I was really letting things get to me, until I saw how much I could be doing to help, often in small ways, but still making things better. It's amazing how often we see the problems of others as being so easy to solve, but can't see a way around our own. I think that's because it's hard sometimes to change what you've become used to, even if it puts you in a bad place. Certainly we value different things, so what one person would find easy to give up, another might declare next to impossible. Still, I remember being in group therapy and seeing people whose difficult situations were exacerbating their mental health issues, and yet the one thing they couldn't seem to do was take a step to bring things around. This is certainly not an upbeat, sun-will-come-out-tomorrow kind of post. This is just me saying that I've found some adjustments I can make which hopefully will improve my quality of life.

Help Me Out

So can anyone name an special occasion for girls at which the girl wears a veil on the back of her head, besides a Catholic First Communion? I ask because the latest American Girl catalog is out, and there is a doll-sized cream dress with a veil. Of course, the dress has a lilac sash, which is not the custom with First Communion dresses, but what's up with the veil, then? The interesting thing to me is that they didn't have to include the veil. Any little girl making her First Communion could easily pin a handkerchief or a piece of tulle on the back of her doll's head. Or even get a bridal style dress that is made for the 18" doll. Of course AG wouldn't make money on an item they didn't produce.

It also comes with a charm that says "Proud." I don't get the current trend of flinging "positive" words around everywhere, either. You know what I mean, the large wooden shelf sitters that spell out LOVE or BELIEVE. Or the little rocks with "inspirational" words on them. Is wearing a charm with a word on it really going to induce more of the sentiment expressed?

I am reminded of a special outfit made several years ago for AG's doll Bitty Baby. It very clearly conveyed baptism dress when you looked at it, being a long white dress with white bonnet. I could see why they wouldn't want to call it a baptism dress, and I imagine they would be sued if they made an out-and-out First Communion dress. I still find the veil weird.

Education and Being Exceptional

So would you go to see Juan Williams and Hugh Hewitt if you had the chance? They are coming to the greater Cleveland area on some kind of tour to promote changing our educational system to promote school choice and America's ranking internationally. I know Juan Williams has been mugged by liberalism, but from some things I've read (I don't watch Fox News or any other TV news program) it seems he is still toeing the liberal party line on a lot of things. Hugh Hewitt, I don't remember too much of what I've read or heard about him except that he was pushing Mitt Romney, which is not a plus in my book.

I'd also like your input on what you think "American exceptionalism" means. Should Americans strive to be number one? Yes. Will we always get there? No. For that matter, why should be be exceptional in anything other than our system of government? Yes, we've been blessed in that we have a large country with many resources and strategical advantages (such as ports in the Atlantic and Pacific.) But I don't think America has to or will be number one in everything, all the time. What do you think about that?

Work Smarter

Mr. BTEG is very good at getting new phones for free or at very low cost when it comes time to renew our cell phone contracts. Thus, every member of the Evil Genius family is now equipped with a smart phone. I am amazed at how much I love my new phone. There is so much to do on these crazy things! Right now, I especially love being able to read books on the phone, and the to-do list. I seem to function better when I have a concrete list set up. Maybe it helps me focus. I loved the Franklin Day Planner, but it got too expensive, and while a to-do list handwritten in a notebook is functional, I'm liking the smart phone route better. And one of the things I have on my to-do list is to blog. :)

A Charlie Brown Christmas

Okay, so I know what the true meaning of Christmas is. But like poor Charlie Brown, I didn't really have much feeling for Christmas this year, either in the spiritual or secular senses. I got a nice gift, the warm winter coat I've been wanting for a couple of years. The girls were happy with their gifts, even though they were by no means extravagant. Mr. BTEG even scored himself some free Christmas gifts: a Google TV keyboard and the latest in smart phones. And of course the most important thing was the remembrance that God became man, became incarnate for us and for our salvation. I was rather numb to the whole thing. Not getting to Christmas services due to various health issues may not have helped this, although I was not tuned in to Advent very well either. I am taking two things from this season. One, I need to stay on top of my mental processes, even though I can't twist them into something perfect. Two, thank God that His incarnation and my salvation do not rest on my feelings being "right."

Don't Blink

Wow, the days are going by quickly! In a couple of days, the girls will be home for winter break. The Musician will also be celebrating a birthday soon. I have most of the gifts purchased, although I have to exchange some earrings. The Dancer came home today, and her friend had given her the same three-pack that I bought the Dancer for Christmas. Oops. They were, of course, ballerina-themed earrings.

Speaking of dance, the Dancer has started assisting at a tap class for 7-8 year-olds. Great experience for her, but another day to be at the dance studio. We do get the Dancer's tap classes for free now, though.

The Dancer's Winter Concert was tonight. The chorale did sing the J-word in one of the songs. :O The Dancer participated in the String Orchestra, and the band also played. The high school freshmen musicians in attendance, including my Musician, were scoping the band for future members. :) Yes, these current 6th graders will be getting Freshmen Wake-Up from the current crop of freshmen, in only three years. I'm sure it will come all too quickly.

Winter Is Unofficially Here

I was so glad yesterday that Mr. BTEG and I have cell phones. Due to the inclement weather, poor Mr. BTEG ended up playing Escape from Cleveland as his usual bus was non-existent (some people were waiting at the bus stop for over an hour) and traffic was almost at a stand-still, so he advised me not to come and pick him up. He ended up getting to Tower City and taking a train out to the near west side, where I came to get him. It would have been awful if we hadn't been able to communicate with each other throughout the fun.

Picky PIcky

I was surprised and slightly heartened to see this article about picky eaters. It's nice that someone even floats the idea that picky eaters are not people who just don't want to eat healthy food, or who just don't want to try new things. I'm a little miffed at the speculation later on, however, that picky eaters may still be made, not born, by unpleasant experiences at the dinner table or stomach issues. They still can't quite bring themselves to accept picky eaters completely, it seems.

My name is Barb the Evil Genius, and I am a picky eater. It started in babyhood, when my skin turned yellow. My concerned mother took me to the doctor, only to find out that I did not have jaundice. Instead, it was my refusal to eat strained green vegetables that led to my skin tone. My current general practitioner is skeptical about the tale, although I have met another extremely picky eater who claimed her skin turned orange as a child, for the same reason.

Later on, when I graduated to solid food, I lived for a time on hot dogs and applesauce, being all that I would eat. It's easy to say, now, that my mom should have simply waited until I was really hungry. A neighbor tried this with my youngest sister, who refused to take a bottle. My sister outlasted the neighbor, and screamed for what she wanted the whole time to boot.

I am blessed to be able to say that my picky eating has not negatively affected my marriage or my social life. I did get scolded once on a college group outing to Louisiana and back, when a Chinese restaurant was chosen one night for dinner. I don't really eat Chinese, and there were protests as to why I hadn't spoken up. It was difficult for me to explain that I hadn't really wanted any of the other choices, either. And I didn't want to chain the entire group to my pickiness.

Mr. BTEG urges me to try new foods, but it's not a relationship issue if I don't like something. Occasionally the family will go out for something like Chinese, and I will eat something from somewhere else. It's not the end of the world. I will admit I can now eat sweet and sour fried chicken (hold the sweet and sour) and white rice, but not enough to really fill me. My daughters also eat more kinds of food than I do, although they also have likes and dislikes. My eldest currently favors a four-alarm level of spices, but then she ate salsa with a spoon when she was two.

I do find it interesting that we picky eaters tend to have very similar tastes in what we eat and drink. To me, it points toward the idea that we are indeed wired differently somehow when it comes to eating. I also look to the example of a pastor we used to know, who had his own taste preferences. He did not care to eat anything sugary. To him, it all just tasted like... sugar. No variation in the flavor experience. However, he could not get enough salt. That always tasted wonderful to him. For me, I have to agree with the final quote of the article: "We don't all have the same experience when we eat."

Head Cases

My mind has been straying back to this article several times during the past couple of days. It bothers me not as a what-could-have-been but as a what-could-be. I have never struggled with mental issues to the extent that the author's son has. I made it through college with honors and successfully held down a number of jobs before becoming a full-time mom. My children are also currently doing well in their lives. Yes, I should place my trust in God, but in my frailty I wonder at times if my mind will deteriorate more, or if one or both of my daughters will suffer from mental illness, which does seem to have a definite genetic component. I do have a whole host of changes before me, God willing, even thought many of them will indeed be positive. In the end, however, there is nothing I can do to alter things, so I have to rely on God, and on my loved ones working through Him.

On a second note, I do agree with the author's assertion that we should rely on ourselves as much as possible. As was pointed out somewhere else on the blogosphere, for middle class taxpayers, what usually happens is I support your unique need through my taxes, and you support my unique need through your taxes. If we weren't paying these taxes, we could just take care of our own needs, with a lot less waste of money. Plus, I stated this when my husband was going through his mysterious health issues, but I cannot say it often enough: bureaucracy does not care. The person who was the most help to us through all of our issues was our primary care physician, who has known our family for several years. From other places, we either received no help, often for reasons that made no sense, or extremely delayed help, due to the number of hoops required first, and that fact that managing our issue was just someone's job, and not a vital issue as it was to us.

One last thing; the author wrote that he did manage to find manageable coverage for his son despite the health issues, but fears it may become out of reach under Obamacare. I believe this is an intended consequence. God be with us all.

Questioning

I am going to be posting on higher education, in regards to my family in particular, but as I was planning the post out in my mind, I took a side trip. I have always been disappointed in my college career. I wrote too much trying to explain, so let's just say I don't know why I went to the college I did, or took some of the courses that I did. However, when I get down to it, I always get back to the fact that I met my now-husband there, so I can't completely regret my college choice.

Which leads me to a point where I get theologically muddled: what was God's involvement in this? Dawn Eden, in her book, says that a man's wife is chosen for him by God. How does God plan things for us, however, which involve the actions of other people? How did my husband and I end up going to the same college, and both make friends with the same person who would eventually introduce us? I never felt a "call," or anything similar to go to the college I did. I went because they supposedly had a good program in a major my father pushed towards. I ended up not really being interested in that major, and not seeing the program as that good anyway. I completely fumbled my way through the whole higher education process. God knew all that would happen, since He is omniscient, but did he *direct* any of it? And if so, how?

Not Absolute

My life is flying by, and I am feeling more and more caught up in the small but rewarding world of family. I am so thankful that we decided to stay in the same school district, even though it really limited our options for a new place. The girls' friendships with fellow students continue to grow and develop, and it would have been hard for them to start with a new bunch of kids this year. I think those who are natural extroverts and who make friends easily might find this hard to understand, but from the perspective of my husband and myself, this was the right choice.

I'm trying to be more active in the girls' schools this year. Signed up for the local PTA and was horrified to get an "advocacy alert" for a Congressional bill, with which I don't even agree! Our local PTA is part of some large email client, and the national PTA seems to want to use us for its agenda. Laura is also not a fan of the national PTA. When did this become a top-heavy, self-important organization, and not just some moms passing out candy canes at the Christmas holiday party?

As you might guess, I really hate this push for everything to be centralized and bureaucrat-ized. My guess at the reason is for the accumulation of power. Think about how much more "important" one would feel as the head of a national organization, telling people how to vote and making them fill out useless forms? At times it does sound nice to have the perks and privileges of the influential. A private jet instead of getting groped by the TSA is appealing at the moment, for example. Thinking about it, though, I don't know that I would be any happier in the long run. I can't imagine the climb to get and maintain power would help my soul. It wouldn't improve my relationships, which to me are what life is all about. How many people think beyond what will get them ahead today, though? How many people have gotten to the top and jumped off in despair?

Businesses Are Evil

The other week I skimmed the headlines of the local newspapers at the grocery store, and saw that American Greetings, a local greeting card company, with product carried nationwide, is once again making noises about leaving their current headquarters. They claim to want another city where they can pay fewer taxes, and are suggesting they may even leave the state. What's funny about this is that they worship Ear Leader to the extent that they created a Christmas ornament of him a couple of years ago. They were probably disappointed that it wasn't prominently featured next to that other fascist dictator, Mao, on the White House Christmas tree.

Anyway, yes, the company has been solidly Democrat for decades. So, Mr. CEO of American Greetings, I need to tell you something. Don't be a greedy fat cat. At some point, you have made enough money. You need to spread the wealth, especially for all those children in your headquarter town. The city is only levying taxes for your own good.

As for the city itself, well, I don't know how high their tax rate is, but I do know that they are proud of being the first city to have a seat belt law, and they also have a no cell phone while driving law. So the leaders of this town also seem to be pretty happy to tell others what to do. This Dem on Dem squabbling is funny, except the prospect of losing thousands of area jobs? Not quite so funny.

In Between

Settling down in our new place. Hasn't helped that we all got sick, but that's to be expected this time of year when your immune system is worn down by stress and extra exertion. My brain is unfortunately too confuzzled (a term coined by the Musician) to write coherently about what I want to write about, this late. I have strong attitudes about things, but I don't feel like I can do serious writing any real justice, right now. Hopefully soon!

Mad at Ohio

At my daughter's dance lesson tonight, I was talking to a father who happens to be a teacher in our school district. He informed me and the other mom there that the state of Ohio is shifting to mandatory full-day kindergarten AND mandatory *preschool.* I'm angry and appalled! Yes, I sent my daughters to preschool, and they enjoyed it, but it was only mornings, not every school day, and I certainly wouldn't want it to be forced on every child. I also don't see five-year-olds as necessarily being ready for all-day school, either. They're still so young! Of course, too many children that age are in all-day daycare anyway, and I have to wonder if parents who do have children in daycare were a driving force behind this. It also makes me mad that I am subsidizing their daycare, basically. They are probably using some sort of excuse about helping the children academically, but seriously. When my daughters were kindergarten age, they were still solidifying letters and numbers. I don't see going to a whole day making a difference in that. Not to mention that there is evidence that even Head Start ends up not giving kids an advantage in the long run. Where is the evidence that all-day preschool will work?

Another issue is the cost. Our school district is blessed to be in a financially good place at the moment, but adding all those extra kids, and the extra hours, will put a strain on the district's budget. How will districts that already struggle financially deal with it? Especially in this economy? It will mean more levies, and of course the schools know how to manipulate parents, by cutting "non-essential" classes like art, extracurricular activities and busing. Of course, so many parents work today that they are apparently happy to pay the extra taxes to ease the burden of having to drive them to school, and pick them up right after school.

I'm so disappointed in Ohio. I'm definitely contacting my legislators, although it's a bit late at this point. I wish I had a place to get good Ohio news besides the local rag. Homeschooling did not work out in the long run for us, but I think I would probably homeschool during the preschool and kindergarten years if I had children of that age. It's a sad development.

Moving Along

So we've moved, and it has been stressful and exhausting, but not as bad as it could have been, so I'm being thankful for what we have. I've been rather busy, and I have to admit it is fun getting everything arranged and put away. I'm trying to concentrate on the good instead of the bad, which is a great idea all the time, but I find myself concentrating on the bad too often. Looking forward to Thanksgiving. We'll be guests, not hosts, so I won't have to worry that there are boxes all over the house. Which there will be. Also plotting ways to keep my winter active and upbeat. Will be getting to back to "real" blogging, too!

Time Flies When You're Moving

Wow, the days when I don't blog seem to fly by so fast. At least this time I have a good excuse, and that is because we are moving early next week! We are looking at it as a positive, as I think it will be. One of the only negatives I've found so far is that the Dancer will be picked up by the school bus about half an hour earlier. She seems pretty cool with it, though. She's very good about scheduling her shower, lunch packing, etc. Fortunately, both of the girls are very good about getting themselves up, as I am just awful about it. Getting to sleep and getting up at the right times seems to be an issue for bipolar people. I personally also seem to need a lot more sleep than the normal recommended amount. Not sure why this is, but I just try to arrange to get enough.

Turn and Turn About

One of public education's problems is the teachers' union, which often uses parents' desires to have a good education for their children, to gain excessive wealth and benefits for themselves. How do we define excessive? Here's some of my ideas. When many occupations don't see raises for years, but the teachers' union demands raises every year, that's excessive. When unemployment numbers are soaring and taxpayers find it harder to meet their own family's needs, but teachers' unions still demand the same size raise, that's excessive. When health care premiums are rising for just about everyone, but a teachers' union still demands absolutely free health care benefits for its members, that's excessive. When a state is going bankrupt, but a union insists they still receive what they're used to, in the end, that helps no one. Individual teachers can be great (winks at Katie,) but the union is too demanding and uses "the children" far too often.

Watch Chris Christie here as he takes apart the teachers' union in his state. One thing I like about Governor Christie is that he uses facts and hard numbers when talking about the issues. Also, he doesn't need a teleprompter.

Here We Go

I may be passive-aggressive posting this here, instead of dealing with things head on. On the other hand, I have tried expressing my ideas when issues come up, and have gotten nowhere. Once, when I said straight out that I was hurt and offended, I got "You don't need to be offended" as a reply. Well, thanks! I guess that fixes everything! Right now I just feel the need to spout off about what I see as a problem I don't know how to change.

Here's my biggest issue right now. I'm tired of seeing people say to my face, on the one hand, that if public school works for your family, hey, great. This comes after I say something if someone says, oh, you really must love your kids since you homeschool them. So I guess I must hate my kids? Well, they aren't going to say that. Then they put up some article that talks about how the public school system was created to dumb kids down, and the education establishment is just out to get your kids and make them stupid. So what does that mean? Public school as an entire entity is a mind control factory determined to turn your children into mindless cogs of the state. But hey, whatever works best for your family, you know?

I think part of the problem is that because of a few people that I am friends with, I have fallen into a larger group with whom I have next to nothing in common. I'm starting to see the group as a homogenous entity, and feeling out of place because I don't buy into what they say. Often I feel like chucking the entire thing out the window. At this point, I don't know how to cut ties with many without cutting ties with everyone. Oh bother.

Blank Slate

Goodness only knows, there's enough to blog about out there. For some reason, I'm having a hard time getting my thoughts together enough to write a good blog post. Of course, we are moving in just over a week, so perhaps that is a contributing factor. I'm mentally unpacking and arranging things in the new place already. I suppose that's more fun than packing and sorting things here.

And now I just realized another reason for my mental vacuum. The Musician came in to my bedroom talking nineteen to the dozen, and the Dancer was not far behind. I'm starting to feel like I need a social secretary to keep up with them and their plans! Not to mention a dedicated car and driver. I keep going by reminding myself that these days will go by very quickly, so I should enjoy them while I can.

Food for Thought

Just read on Facebook that the Mythbusters are going to be doing a show with President Obama. I love the show, and I am so disappointed in this. Mythbusters should not involve politics. I don't want to know which way Jamie and Adam's politics fall, and I take this news to confirm what I strongly suspected, that they are leftists, perhaps even with socialist leanings. With this administration charging into socialist territory, and the Mythbusters being filmed in a very blue area of California, I suspect the cast of Mythbusters does lean socialist, but I really didn't want to know either way.

The President is also a very divisive figure right now. Even die-hard Democrats are starting to lose enthusiasm, although they often blame it on staff, rather than the top guy. Why make a decision that will make a good bit of your audience unhappy with the show?

As I was thinking over this, I remembered that the cable show Cake Boss did an episode where the bakery made a cake for Governor Chris Christie. I wouldn't ask Buddy to turn down such a offer that would give him publicity in high places, but if we're going to be fair, that shouldn't have shown on television as well, I guess. Am I being partisan when I feel that Buddy was making a very lucrative and high-recognition business transaction, while the Mythbusters are very likely (to me) doing this for the "ooh, we get to do a show with the Lightworker" factor? Buddy's cake reflected a lot of pride in his home state, at least, as well as being for the Governor. As I read on the linked webpage, Mythbusters has already tried this myth *twice*. Why do it again?

Am I overreacting? I doubt the Mythbusters would *do* a show with Governor Christie, or with someone like Sharron Angle or Sean Bielat. I wonder if Buddy would make a cake for anybody.

Talk to the Hand

So Justice Alito plans to skip the next State of the Union Address. I think this is a great decision. This way he won't have to sit there like, as he says, a "potted plant" while the President of our country demeans our Supreme Court, which was designed to be a check and balance to Presidential and Congressional power. But what happened to our President being bipartisan and bringing everyone together? Yes, this is a rhetorical question. He is really only pushing people further apart. Let conservatives unite to decrease governmental control over our lives.

I Hate Guilt

I am excited about the changes that I see coming up in the political world. I like the idea of more conservative candidates, who actually listen to constituents and are real people instead of elites. But it nags me that I'm not doing anything to help. I hate cold calling. Heck, I hate calling people who I do know, but not very well. Would prefer not to have any yard signs at this moment. Signed up with Americans for Prosperity, and I understand they are still getting things underway, but the "local" events they have held so far would have been about 30-45 minutes away from me. I also hate knocking on strange doors. Knocked on a few neighbors' doors to try to help the Dancer sell magazines for her school, and it was *excruciating*. I know some of you who read my blog can identify with this. I do believe in conservative principles, but then I also believe Christianity and would not want to knock on strange doors "selling" it. Will still try my best to spread conservative ideas where I can.

So Much to Do, So Little Time

The world is so full of a number of things,
I'm sure we should all be as happy as kings.
--Robert Louis Stevenson

I go through dry spells where everything is dull and boring and the world a yawning wilderness. Then I go through periods like where I am now, where I want to sew things and knit things and buy things and sell things and be wildly crafty and do it all all at the same time! Right now I feel like the world is *too* full of wonderful things! Since I am getting better at understanding my motivations and my moods, I'm hoping to have a productive winter, but not getting unrealistic. :)

Quick Observation

My tendency to emphasize words in my writing is so Victorian. I can picture myself penning a letter and underlining or even double/triple underlining words. Don't know why I do it except to better get across my "voice." It doesn't bother me although at the same time I hope I don't come across as weird. :)