Phoning It In

Via Pastor Peperkorn (on Facebook,) an iPhone app for Confession. What do my Catholic friends think?

I enjoy using the internet for keeping in touch with people that live far away, and I obviously enjoy broadcasting my thoughts and ideas via blogging. But I hope we don't start using things like Skype or cell phones to replace the importance of the physical interaction between the pastor (representing God,) and the congregation. Not that I'm saying that this app does that.

Mental Exercises

It's been a tough month here at la Casa de Evil Genius. Mr. BTEG still continues to suffer health issues; although new medical possibilities seem to be on the horizon, we still have a little longer to wait on them. Thus in many ways I feel at times like a single mother. There are a lot of things that my dear husband just is not physically capable of doing at the moment. I am extremely thankful that Mr. BTEG is able to be gainfully employed, at least.

Of course, we're also feeling the same financial crunch that a lot of other families are. In some odd way, I do enjoy the challenge of stretching the budget, finding ways to lower our gas and electric bills, looking everywhere for things to cut. Although, as some author who I can't remember put it, it resembles the exhilaration the Texans must have felt at the Alamo. Still, if you are a fighter, a challenge can give you something to live for, to work for.

Too much stress is not good for anyone. As a person with mental health issues, I have found it particularly hard to deal with. I try to be involved in as few outside activities as possible, to put as few demands on myself as possible. Health and finances, one could say, are attacking from within. I was really letting things get to me, until I saw how much I could be doing to help, often in small ways, but still making things better. It's amazing how often we see the problems of others as being so easy to solve, but can't see a way around our own. I think that's because it's hard sometimes to change what you've become used to, even if it puts you in a bad place. Certainly we value different things, so what one person would find easy to give up, another might declare next to impossible. Still, I remember being in group therapy and seeing people whose difficult situations were exacerbating their mental health issues, and yet the one thing they couldn't seem to do was take a step to bring things around. This is certainly not an upbeat, sun-will-come-out-tomorrow kind of post. This is just me saying that I've found some adjustments I can make which hopefully will improve my quality of life.

Help Me Out

So can anyone name an special occasion for girls at which the girl wears a veil on the back of her head, besides a Catholic First Communion? I ask because the latest American Girl catalog is out, and there is a doll-sized cream dress with a veil. Of course, the dress has a lilac sash, which is not the custom with First Communion dresses, but what's up with the veil, then? The interesting thing to me is that they didn't have to include the veil. Any little girl making her First Communion could easily pin a handkerchief or a piece of tulle on the back of her doll's head. Or even get a bridal style dress that is made for the 18" doll. Of course AG wouldn't make money on an item they didn't produce.

It also comes with a charm that says "Proud." I don't get the current trend of flinging "positive" words around everywhere, either. You know what I mean, the large wooden shelf sitters that spell out LOVE or BELIEVE. Or the little rocks with "inspirational" words on them. Is wearing a charm with a word on it really going to induce more of the sentiment expressed?

I am reminded of a special outfit made several years ago for AG's doll Bitty Baby. It very clearly conveyed baptism dress when you looked at it, being a long white dress with white bonnet. I could see why they wouldn't want to call it a baptism dress, and I imagine they would be sued if they made an out-and-out First Communion dress. I still find the veil weird.

Education and Being Exceptional

So would you go to see Juan Williams and Hugh Hewitt if you had the chance? They are coming to the greater Cleveland area on some kind of tour to promote changing our educational system to promote school choice and America's ranking internationally. I know Juan Williams has been mugged by liberalism, but from some things I've read (I don't watch Fox News or any other TV news program) it seems he is still toeing the liberal party line on a lot of things. Hugh Hewitt, I don't remember too much of what I've read or heard about him except that he was pushing Mitt Romney, which is not a plus in my book.

I'd also like your input on what you think "American exceptionalism" means. Should Americans strive to be number one? Yes. Will we always get there? No. For that matter, why should be be exceptional in anything other than our system of government? Yes, we've been blessed in that we have a large country with many resources and strategical advantages (such as ports in the Atlantic and Pacific.) But I don't think America has to or will be number one in everything, all the time. What do you think about that?

Work Smarter

Mr. BTEG is very good at getting new phones for free or at very low cost when it comes time to renew our cell phone contracts. Thus, every member of the Evil Genius family is now equipped with a smart phone. I am amazed at how much I love my new phone. There is so much to do on these crazy things! Right now, I especially love being able to read books on the phone, and the to-do list. I seem to function better when I have a concrete list set up. Maybe it helps me focus. I loved the Franklin Day Planner, but it got too expensive, and while a to-do list handwritten in a notebook is functional, I'm liking the smart phone route better. And one of the things I have on my to-do list is to blog. :)

A Charlie Brown Christmas

Okay, so I know what the true meaning of Christmas is. But like poor Charlie Brown, I didn't really have much feeling for Christmas this year, either in the spiritual or secular senses. I got a nice gift, the warm winter coat I've been wanting for a couple of years. The girls were happy with their gifts, even though they were by no means extravagant. Mr. BTEG even scored himself some free Christmas gifts: a Google TV keyboard and the latest in smart phones. And of course the most important thing was the remembrance that God became man, became incarnate for us and for our salvation. I was rather numb to the whole thing. Not getting to Christmas services due to various health issues may not have helped this, although I was not tuned in to Advent very well either. I am taking two things from this season. One, I need to stay on top of my mental processes, even though I can't twist them into something perfect. Two, thank God that His incarnation and my salvation do not rest on my feelings being "right."

Don't Blink

Wow, the days are going by quickly! In a couple of days, the girls will be home for winter break. The Musician will also be celebrating a birthday soon. I have most of the gifts purchased, although I have to exchange some earrings. The Dancer came home today, and her friend had given her the same three-pack that I bought the Dancer for Christmas. Oops. They were, of course, ballerina-themed earrings.

Speaking of dance, the Dancer has started assisting at a tap class for 7-8 year-olds. Great experience for her, but another day to be at the dance studio. We do get the Dancer's tap classes for free now, though.

The Dancer's Winter Concert was tonight. The chorale did sing the J-word in one of the songs. :O The Dancer participated in the String Orchestra, and the band also played. The high school freshmen musicians in attendance, including my Musician, were scoping the band for future members. :) Yes, these current 6th graders will be getting Freshmen Wake-Up from the current crop of freshmen, in only three years. I'm sure it will come all too quickly.

Winter Is Unofficially Here

I was so glad yesterday that Mr. BTEG and I have cell phones. Due to the inclement weather, poor Mr. BTEG ended up playing Escape from Cleveland as his usual bus was non-existent (some people were waiting at the bus stop for over an hour) and traffic was almost at a stand-still, so he advised me not to come and pick him up. He ended up getting to Tower City and taking a train out to the near west side, where I came to get him. It would have been awful if we hadn't been able to communicate with each other throughout the fun.

Picky PIcky

I was surprised and slightly heartened to see this article about picky eaters. It's nice that someone even floats the idea that picky eaters are not people who just don't want to eat healthy food, or who just don't want to try new things. I'm a little miffed at the speculation later on, however, that picky eaters may still be made, not born, by unpleasant experiences at the dinner table or stomach issues. They still can't quite bring themselves to accept picky eaters completely, it seems.

My name is Barb the Evil Genius, and I am a picky eater. It started in babyhood, when my skin turned yellow. My concerned mother took me to the doctor, only to find out that I did not have jaundice. Instead, it was my refusal to eat strained green vegetables that led to my skin tone. My current general practitioner is skeptical about the tale, although I have met another extremely picky eater who claimed her skin turned orange as a child, for the same reason.

Later on, when I graduated to solid food, I lived for a time on hot dogs and applesauce, being all that I would eat. It's easy to say, now, that my mom should have simply waited until I was really hungry. A neighbor tried this with my youngest sister, who refused to take a bottle. My sister outlasted the neighbor, and screamed for what she wanted the whole time to boot.

I am blessed to be able to say that my picky eating has not negatively affected my marriage or my social life. I did get scolded once on a college group outing to Louisiana and back, when a Chinese restaurant was chosen one night for dinner. I don't really eat Chinese, and there were protests as to why I hadn't spoken up. It was difficult for me to explain that I hadn't really wanted any of the other choices, either. And I didn't want to chain the entire group to my pickiness.

Mr. BTEG urges me to try new foods, but it's not a relationship issue if I don't like something. Occasionally the family will go out for something like Chinese, and I will eat something from somewhere else. It's not the end of the world. I will admit I can now eat sweet and sour fried chicken (hold the sweet and sour) and white rice, but not enough to really fill me. My daughters also eat more kinds of food than I do, although they also have likes and dislikes. My eldest currently favors a four-alarm level of spices, but then she ate salsa with a spoon when she was two.

I do find it interesting that we picky eaters tend to have very similar tastes in what we eat and drink. To me, it points toward the idea that we are indeed wired differently somehow when it comes to eating. I also look to the example of a pastor we used to know, who had his own taste preferences. He did not care to eat anything sugary. To him, it all just tasted like... sugar. No variation in the flavor experience. However, he could not get enough salt. That always tasted wonderful to him. For me, I have to agree with the final quote of the article: "We don't all have the same experience when we eat."

Head Cases

My mind has been straying back to this article several times during the past couple of days. It bothers me not as a what-could-have-been but as a what-could-be. I have never struggled with mental issues to the extent that the author's son has. I made it through college with honors and successfully held down a number of jobs before becoming a full-time mom. My children are also currently doing well in their lives. Yes, I should place my trust in God, but in my frailty I wonder at times if my mind will deteriorate more, or if one or both of my daughters will suffer from mental illness, which does seem to have a definite genetic component. I do have a whole host of changes before me, God willing, even thought many of them will indeed be positive. In the end, however, there is nothing I can do to alter things, so I have to rely on God, and on my loved ones working through Him.

On a second note, I do agree with the author's assertion that we should rely on ourselves as much as possible. As was pointed out somewhere else on the blogosphere, for middle class taxpayers, what usually happens is I support your unique need through my taxes, and you support my unique need through your taxes. If we weren't paying these taxes, we could just take care of our own needs, with a lot less waste of money. Plus, I stated this when my husband was going through his mysterious health issues, but I cannot say it often enough: bureaucracy does not care. The person who was the most help to us through all of our issues was our primary care physician, who has known our family for several years. From other places, we either received no help, often for reasons that made no sense, or extremely delayed help, due to the number of hoops required first, and that fact that managing our issue was just someone's job, and not a vital issue as it was to us.

One last thing; the author wrote that he did manage to find manageable coverage for his son despite the health issues, but fears it may become out of reach under Obamacare. I believe this is an intended consequence. God be with us all.

Questioning

I am going to be posting on higher education, in regards to my family in particular, but as I was planning the post out in my mind, I took a side trip. I have always been disappointed in my college career. I wrote too much trying to explain, so let's just say I don't know why I went to the college I did, or took some of the courses that I did. However, when I get down to it, I always get back to the fact that I met my now-husband there, so I can't completely regret my college choice.

Which leads me to a point where I get theologically muddled: what was God's involvement in this? Dawn Eden, in her book, says that a man's wife is chosen for him by God. How does God plan things for us, however, which involve the actions of other people? How did my husband and I end up going to the same college, and both make friends with the same person who would eventually introduce us? I never felt a "call," or anything similar to go to the college I did. I went because they supposedly had a good program in a major my father pushed towards. I ended up not really being interested in that major, and not seeing the program as that good anyway. I completely fumbled my way through the whole higher education process. God knew all that would happen, since He is omniscient, but did he *direct* any of it? And if so, how?

Not Absolute

My life is flying by, and I am feeling more and more caught up in the small but rewarding world of family. I am so thankful that we decided to stay in the same school district, even though it really limited our options for a new place. The girls' friendships with fellow students continue to grow and develop, and it would have been hard for them to start with a new bunch of kids this year. I think those who are natural extroverts and who make friends easily might find this hard to understand, but from the perspective of my husband and myself, this was the right choice.

I'm trying to be more active in the girls' schools this year. Signed up for the local PTA and was horrified to get an "advocacy alert" for a Congressional bill, with which I don't even agree! Our local PTA is part of some large email client, and the national PTA seems to want to use us for its agenda. Laura is also not a fan of the national PTA. When did this become a top-heavy, self-important organization, and not just some moms passing out candy canes at the Christmas holiday party?

As you might guess, I really hate this push for everything to be centralized and bureaucrat-ized. My guess at the reason is for the accumulation of power. Think about how much more "important" one would feel as the head of a national organization, telling people how to vote and making them fill out useless forms? At times it does sound nice to have the perks and privileges of the influential. A private jet instead of getting groped by the TSA is appealing at the moment, for example. Thinking about it, though, I don't know that I would be any happier in the long run. I can't imagine the climb to get and maintain power would help my soul. It wouldn't improve my relationships, which to me are what life is all about. How many people think beyond what will get them ahead today, though? How many people have gotten to the top and jumped off in despair?

Businesses Are Evil

The other week I skimmed the headlines of the local newspapers at the grocery store, and saw that American Greetings, a local greeting card company, with product carried nationwide, is once again making noises about leaving their current headquarters. They claim to want another city where they can pay fewer taxes, and are suggesting they may even leave the state. What's funny about this is that they worship Ear Leader to the extent that they created a Christmas ornament of him a couple of years ago. They were probably disappointed that it wasn't prominently featured next to that other fascist dictator, Mao, on the White House Christmas tree.

Anyway, yes, the company has been solidly Democrat for decades. So, Mr. CEO of American Greetings, I need to tell you something. Don't be a greedy fat cat. At some point, you have made enough money. You need to spread the wealth, especially for all those children in your headquarter town. The city is only levying taxes for your own good.

As for the city itself, well, I don't know how high their tax rate is, but I do know that they are proud of being the first city to have a seat belt law, and they also have a no cell phone while driving law. So the leaders of this town also seem to be pretty happy to tell others what to do. This Dem on Dem squabbling is funny, except the prospect of losing thousands of area jobs? Not quite so funny.

In Between

Settling down in our new place. Hasn't helped that we all got sick, but that's to be expected this time of year when your immune system is worn down by stress and extra exertion. My brain is unfortunately too confuzzled (a term coined by the Musician) to write coherently about what I want to write about, this late. I have strong attitudes about things, but I don't feel like I can do serious writing any real justice, right now. Hopefully soon!

Mad at Ohio

At my daughter's dance lesson tonight, I was talking to a father who happens to be a teacher in our school district. He informed me and the other mom there that the state of Ohio is shifting to mandatory full-day kindergarten AND mandatory *preschool.* I'm angry and appalled! Yes, I sent my daughters to preschool, and they enjoyed it, but it was only mornings, not every school day, and I certainly wouldn't want it to be forced on every child. I also don't see five-year-olds as necessarily being ready for all-day school, either. They're still so young! Of course, too many children that age are in all-day daycare anyway, and I have to wonder if parents who do have children in daycare were a driving force behind this. It also makes me mad that I am subsidizing their daycare, basically. They are probably using some sort of excuse about helping the children academically, but seriously. When my daughters were kindergarten age, they were still solidifying letters and numbers. I don't see going to a whole day making a difference in that. Not to mention that there is evidence that even Head Start ends up not giving kids an advantage in the long run. Where is the evidence that all-day preschool will work?

Another issue is the cost. Our school district is blessed to be in a financially good place at the moment, but adding all those extra kids, and the extra hours, will put a strain on the district's budget. How will districts that already struggle financially deal with it? Especially in this economy? It will mean more levies, and of course the schools know how to manipulate parents, by cutting "non-essential" classes like art, extracurricular activities and busing. Of course, so many parents work today that they are apparently happy to pay the extra taxes to ease the burden of having to drive them to school, and pick them up right after school.

I'm so disappointed in Ohio. I'm definitely contacting my legislators, although it's a bit late at this point. I wish I had a place to get good Ohio news besides the local rag. Homeschooling did not work out in the long run for us, but I think I would probably homeschool during the preschool and kindergarten years if I had children of that age. It's a sad development.

Moving Along

So we've moved, and it has been stressful and exhausting, but not as bad as it could have been, so I'm being thankful for what we have. I've been rather busy, and I have to admit it is fun getting everything arranged and put away. I'm trying to concentrate on the good instead of the bad, which is a great idea all the time, but I find myself concentrating on the bad too often. Looking forward to Thanksgiving. We'll be guests, not hosts, so I won't have to worry that there are boxes all over the house. Which there will be. Also plotting ways to keep my winter active and upbeat. Will be getting to back to "real" blogging, too!

Time Flies When You're Moving

Wow, the days when I don't blog seem to fly by so fast. At least this time I have a good excuse, and that is because we are moving early next week! We are looking at it as a positive, as I think it will be. One of the only negatives I've found so far is that the Dancer will be picked up by the school bus about half an hour earlier. She seems pretty cool with it, though. She's very good about scheduling her shower, lunch packing, etc. Fortunately, both of the girls are very good about getting themselves up, as I am just awful about it. Getting to sleep and getting up at the right times seems to be an issue for bipolar people. I personally also seem to need a lot more sleep than the normal recommended amount. Not sure why this is, but I just try to arrange to get enough.

Turn and Turn About

One of public education's problems is the teachers' union, which often uses parents' desires to have a good education for their children, to gain excessive wealth and benefits for themselves. How do we define excessive? Here's some of my ideas. When many occupations don't see raises for years, but the teachers' union demands raises every year, that's excessive. When unemployment numbers are soaring and taxpayers find it harder to meet their own family's needs, but teachers' unions still demand the same size raise, that's excessive. When health care premiums are rising for just about everyone, but a teachers' union still demands absolutely free health care benefits for its members, that's excessive. When a state is going bankrupt, but a union insists they still receive what they're used to, in the end, that helps no one. Individual teachers can be great (winks at Katie,) but the union is too demanding and uses "the children" far too often.

Watch Chris Christie here as he takes apart the teachers' union in his state. One thing I like about Governor Christie is that he uses facts and hard numbers when talking about the issues. Also, he doesn't need a teleprompter.

Here We Go

I may be passive-aggressive posting this here, instead of dealing with things head on. On the other hand, I have tried expressing my ideas when issues come up, and have gotten nowhere. Once, when I said straight out that I was hurt and offended, I got "You don't need to be offended" as a reply. Well, thanks! I guess that fixes everything! Right now I just feel the need to spout off about what I see as a problem I don't know how to change.

Here's my biggest issue right now. I'm tired of seeing people say to my face, on the one hand, that if public school works for your family, hey, great. This comes after I say something if someone says, oh, you really must love your kids since you homeschool them. So I guess I must hate my kids? Well, they aren't going to say that. Then they put up some article that talks about how the public school system was created to dumb kids down, and the education establishment is just out to get your kids and make them stupid. So what does that mean? Public school as an entire entity is a mind control factory determined to turn your children into mindless cogs of the state. But hey, whatever works best for your family, you know?

I think part of the problem is that because of a few people that I am friends with, I have fallen into a larger group with whom I have next to nothing in common. I'm starting to see the group as a homogenous entity, and feeling out of place because I don't buy into what they say. Often I feel like chucking the entire thing out the window. At this point, I don't know how to cut ties with many without cutting ties with everyone. Oh bother.

Blank Slate

Goodness only knows, there's enough to blog about out there. For some reason, I'm having a hard time getting my thoughts together enough to write a good blog post. Of course, we are moving in just over a week, so perhaps that is a contributing factor. I'm mentally unpacking and arranging things in the new place already. I suppose that's more fun than packing and sorting things here.

And now I just realized another reason for my mental vacuum. The Musician came in to my bedroom talking nineteen to the dozen, and the Dancer was not far behind. I'm starting to feel like I need a social secretary to keep up with them and their plans! Not to mention a dedicated car and driver. I keep going by reminding myself that these days will go by very quickly, so I should enjoy them while I can.