Looking Ahead?

The Equestrienne was sharing some of her humorous hopes and dreams with us the other day. She asked me what my hopes and dreams were, and expressed surprise that they all seemed to be related to her and her sister's futures. I realized that this was true and started thinking if I have any hopes and dreams that are not related to my children. For so many years my life has revolved so much around taking care of my children. From making sure they had adequate nourishment and dry diapers and the necessary attention, to making sure they are receiving useful educations and learning to know them as people and helping them develop into capable, intelligent Lutheran women, there is a lot to think about and do. My work with my daughters is not complete, but as we settle into our new home, I seem to have more time to create more of a life for myself.

In many ways, I am in a place of satisfied contentment. From my youngest days, I wanted to be a homemaker and have a husband and children. So you could say I am "living the dream." But I still have quite a bit of my life ahead of me. Is it normal not to have a lot of plans and dreams for one's life for the future? I don't know. Perhaps some of this is related to my bipolar issues. When I was at my lowest point I had little hope for my life at all and saw the future as something to be avoided. To avoid spiraling again into a negative, destructive mentality, I have put most of my focus on the present. And to be honest, I have no way of knowing what could happen in the future. I know that my parents-in-law had plans and dreams for their life together until my father-in-law died a year before my husband and I married. In the same way, any plans I make for my future could be changed in an instant by something over which I have no control. Perhaps then I am afraid to make plans, knowing as a mature adult that "bad things" can happen to anybody at anytime. Perhaps also so much of what I want seems so far in the future. For example, I would like to travel with Mr. BTEG when our children are grown. But our youngest reaching her majority is still over seven years away. A great many things can happen in these next seven years, and anyway any dreams for that far in the future do not provide much sustenance for life in the here and now.

It may seem silly to some, but most of my current wishes for own life involve things in the creative realm. Sewing more, learning to knit better and make more things. Maybe learning to crochet, to draw or paint. Perhaps selling some of my creative endeavors. I would still like to do very amateur ballet, if I can find a studio that takes grown women with no figure for serious dance and little experience. (grin) That will likely have to wait until next year, as I missed getting into a current dance season. I also have a few ideas in the world of writing, although I am not as attached to these ideas. So while conquering the world may not happen just yet, I suppose my life is not completely devoid of things for which to plan and look forward to. And that makes life interesting!

More Dreaming

So since we've talked about our dream *vocation*, what would your dream *vacation* be? The more I think about it, the more I realize that sitting around on a beach somewhere is not for me. My dream vacation, and this is not a surprise for those who know me, would be to hit all the major amusement parks in the U.S. I want to ride on all the top roller coasters in the country! So far, besides all the biggies at Cedar Point, and that is saying a lot, I've only ridden the Beast at King's Island and GhostRider at Knott's Berry Farm, as far as top-flight roller coasters.

Yes, I love spinning in tea cups, and boat rides, and ferris wheels, and especially roller coasters, better than lying quietly in the sun. Am I insane? :)

A Fresh Start

In one way, I love Mondays. No matter what has happened, a new week is a fresh start. I can do well on housework, on teaching the girls, on sewing and all the other little things I enjoy doing, on exercising my body as well as my mind. Things have not been so difficult for me as for some others recently, but I still need the fresh start of a fresh week.

Hooray for Friday

I've been sick all week and not getting much done, so I'm glad that the weekend is almost here. My husband will be home, and the girls can play without having to worry about school work. I need to take better care of myself so I don't get sick so often. I'm glad that warmer weather is finally here, and probably here to stay. At least until next fall!