Even before Mr. BTEG and I had kids, I had plans to be "the cool mom." I wanted to be the mom all the kids liked, and I wanted to have the home where all the kids wanted to hang out. This has its advantages. You not only have a much clearer picture of what your own children are doing when they are doing things in your home, but you don't have to worry as much about what your kid's friends' parents are like, and what sorts of things they allow in their homes. Plus, I want my children to be able to confide in me, not another mom who appears "cool" but who may have ideas with which I do not agree. I wasn't eager to necessarily be the mom that other kids besides my own came to for advice. I do see worrying tendencies in some of the Equestrienne's friends, but that is a whole other post, if I write it.
After the party we had for the Dancer this past Saturday, however, I have finally become convinced that I do not have the personality to be "the cool mom." I dislike a lot of noise and commotion, and hate sensing that things are out of control, or at least that they are not going the way I had planned. The Dancer had a very nice party. The house was adequately clean ahead of time, the games and favors were planned out and prepared, and the refreshments were acceptable. However, at one point I went into our pantry and shut the door and took a little "time-out" because I was overwhelmed by the noise and exuberance. (Mr. BTEG was still there to supervise.) I also felt incapable at times of being in charge of the group of girls. This same problem has occurred when I have tried to be a teacher, or a Girl Scout leader. I don't feel capable of what I feel is the necessary "command" and firmness when dealing with a group of kids. You can do your own psychoanalysis of me as to why this is so. ;)
However, "knowing is half the battle." I've spent a lot of time with a counselor in the past working on another part of the battle, learning not to think negatively or have distorted thought patterns about myself. So as I let go of being "the cool mom," I can still find ways that do suit me to support my children and their friendships. And make sure I always have back-up at parties!