Being "Equal" Can Mean Messing Up Equally Too

I have a confession. When I get too frustrated reading political news (which happens more and more often these days,) I take some time away and read celebrity gossip instead. Which lead me to a tidbit about how Natalie Portman's new movie project is in trouble even in the midst of production. What's hilarious is how the writer tries to keep any of the blame from actually falling on the star and producer of this film, Portman herself. First of all, Portman and her crew may just be too smart for us: "Because it seems like something that would happen with Natalie and her friends, like they are too intellectual to function in normal society, not to mention a film set where you actually have to make firm decisions." Um, yeah. Is this writer serious? I'm not actually sure. I mean, Hollyweird is not normal society anyway, and a great number of the elite in that society would be asking you if you wanted fries with that if they had to live a regular life. And being intellectual keeps you from making firm decisions? Uh huh. I'm sure all the emergency room doctors, for example, stand around saying "I'm sooo smart; I just can't deciiiiiiide! Do I intubate or operate or what?"

But of course, people may also be talking trash about her because she's... a woman! In other words, we poor little women are still suffering from evil stereotyping by men. In reference to her supposedly terrible temper, "maybe she's (Portman) just bossy and men can’t handle it." Or, you know, maybe she actually does have a terrible temper. Although why a man or a woman would want a supervisor that's bossy doesn't make sense either, so?

Bottom line, if women want be treated equally, they'll have to take the same chances men do of failing, as well as succeeding. Maybe Star Magazine just wanted a nice gossipy story. Maybe Natalie Portman really does suck as a producer. In any case, if the movie totally tanks, the producer should get a big share of the blame, man or woman.

The Marriage Mart

At one of my daughter's dance classes, I was appalled to hear one mother say that she was counseling her daughter to not get married until she was thirty. Instead the daughter should be focusing on her own life and on establishing her career. I was even more shocked and unhappy when one of my daughter's dance teachers agreed. As a matter of fact, I became furious, and had a hard time keeping my temper. I wasn't even sure why at the time I was so angry, except that the institution of the family is very important to me, and I hate to see it treated so casually. I think it especially ridiculous for a Christian (like my daughter's dance teacher) to be advocating such ideas. I've spent a while turning it over in my mind, and I've come up with some specific thoughts.

When I typed the second sentence, one of the reasons I've felt uncomfortable about this really stood out: it is all about the self. Focus on YOU and YOUR career. Get yourself comfortably set up, and then you can be ready to let someone else into your life. The problem is, and this is assuming you were brought up in a close family, for about nine years of your life, your focus will have been on you. This is not about people who are single because they haven't found the right one to marry, by the way. This is about those who are doing it for essentially selfish reasons, to get the most out of life for themselves before they even think about sharing that life with another human in the most intimate way possible. But after having lived for yourself for years on end, tasting the best life has to offer for someone with no commitment other than a career, and no one to spend your money other than your own whims, why settle down then?

In today's society, indeed, why settle down at all? There is no stigma attached to living together, not even in having children out of wedlock. And even if you don't find someone you want to shack up with, you can still be having plenty of sex. It seems to be a very tempting prospect; you can have a romantic relationship and sexual release on your own terms, and if it doesn't suit one or both of you, you can walk. But again, once you've lived that life for long enough, why change, and how well will you be able to commit to one person for the rest of your life after treating your relationships as temporary?

Of course, you can live with someone and call it committed without getting married. But that detracts from the whole point of what the mothers who want their daughters to put off getting married seem to want to avoid, and that is the pain of breaking up a relationship, and the annoyance of being stuck with an unpleasant ex if you have to deal with one because of shared children. Somehow if you wait until you are thirty, and have a successful career, you and your prospective spouse will be able to take on a committed relationship with extra assurance that it will work out. I will probably take on that idea soon. In the meantime, what do you feel think about putting off marriage?

Needle Arts

Last night found the Scientist, Wildchild and myself bent over embroidery hoops. Yep, the girls are trying to learn cross-stitch again. It didn't go so well last time, but I got them cute little Disney cross-stitch kits for Christmas, and they are willing to try again. I suggested they get them out yesterday for an art project, as the art curricula I'm using with them is not currently going very well. It's basically a lot of drawing, and the girls are not really interested in drawing, so much. It's far different in our home from when my sisters and I were growing up. We had a steady supply of crayons and paper, and were constantly drawing and coming up with crafts to do. My girls don't have that artistic bent, so I'm going to have to come up with something new for them to do for art classes. Sometimes we do projects that are related to history, like our Israelite house. Or when we were studying Egyptian history, the girls each made a cartouche with their name in hieroglyphics. But our history lesson does not lend itself easily to an art project every time, so I'll have to see what else I can find, that they will enjoy, but that goes beyond "hand turkey" level of projects. What do you all do for art?

Now, what got me thinking about the state of handcrafts in today's society is the closing of the fabric (and crafts) store where my friend Debbie works. Also, the small cross-stitch store near where I used to live has closed. And there seems to be a decrease in the number of quilting stores in the area too. I wonder if this is due to fewer people doing handcrafts, or the increase in Internet purchases of fabric and such. I'd guess that the stores are closing due to the former, although with local options disappearing, I'm glad to have the increased options that Internet shopping provides. I have a bias, doing so much sewing as well as some cross-stitch and embroidery, but I think that a trend away from creative pursuits and making things yourself is not a good one. In a time where manufacturing processes can be increasingly automated, the extra touch of something made by hand means that much more. And I think creativity is something special, something that helps us stand out as people, and that can help us stand out as a country. I suppose I'll simply have to foster my daughters' own creativity, and hope that someone who sees creativity in our family, might be inspired.