Thursday, March 16, 2006

Do You Care About Me?

My husband today pointed out a great quote to me that comes from here. The quote is this: "Judge yourself (and your ideas) by the people that care about you. Don't give that power to people who are not invested in your well being." It struck me because I'm still trying to get rid of the negative influences in my life, and listen to the people who do care about me. I have made myself miserable for so many years because of others' negative words about me, making me feel that I was hopeless and worthless.

When people don't care about you, they judge you by their standards. Only, you'll never achieve what you're meant to do if you're doing what others expect of you instead of what you expect of yourself. Not only that, you'll never be good enough to live up to their standards! When others care about your well being, they look at what will work best for you, not what they would do. Since I'm a Christian, I also expect them to care about my spiritual well-being, since we can not have happiness or peace in this world or the next without it. But here we have to discern God's standards, again not those of others! For example, I was discussing crunchy-cons with Lilac Rose. Will it really improve my spirituality to drive 50 miles one way to buy organic food, raise my own chickens, quit shopping at retail stores? When did God create the 11th Commandment: Thou shalt eschew all plastic! Is this how God wants us to live, or what some human thinks is right for them and therefore everyone?

Of course it can be hard to follow the above advice. Everyone who relentlessly butts in to other people's lives thinks they're doing right, because they only care about us and it's their duty to tell us when we're doing it wrong! But are they doing it because they truly want what's best for us, or because they want everyone to Do It Their Way? God gives us rules because He knows what's best for us; He knows how humans function and how we can best avoid hurt and find happiness. What's more, He knows what's best for us as individuals. He calls us to different vocations in life; we're not just cookie-cutter people! The opinions we need to seek on earth are those who also want what's best for us, not for us to be just like them.

5 comments:

Scott said...

Why are you telling me what to do??

:-) !!

I don't think God knows how we can avoid sin. Well, I take that back, He does know...I know too.

Be dead.

Only then will you avoid sin. Until then, His rules, while providing a guide and curb for us, also will always accuse us.

That is why, rather than just giving us rules, God has given us a Savior that has met the requirements of the rules on our behalf, and paid the price for our failure. He has also given us the faith that trusts in the Savior Jesus, so that our salvation is complete, even tho we still are plagued by sin much and daily.

When Christ spoke last on the Cross, He meant what He said. "It is finished!"

Scott said...

PS: Hope lunch was Ffun. Deb said it was a pretty neat experience.

Susan B. said...

Hi Barb,

My experience has been that some people don't really care about you -- they just want to control you. Of course, they disguise this need to control as concern for your well-being.

And there are people who you know really do care about you (I'm thinking family members here), but at the same time are often more concerned with controlling you. I've had a rather stormy relationship with my sister (who is 7 years older than me) over this very issue. Things are better between us than they used to be, but we still have our problems.

Barb the Evil Genius said...

Okay, Scott, get all picky with me! :) What I was trying to say was that even though we'll always mess up God's perfect plan for us, we are always better off trying to follow it. For example, we can avoid big potential trouble by avoiding getting wasted on alcohol or drugs. Yes, we definitely can't follow God's plan, but unlike human beings, He always gives perfect advice. My imperfection caused me to include Law and not Gospel in this post. Mea culpa.

Susan, this post was actually inspired by my family members! I'm at a very low point right now. I'm not sure there's any caring at all left in them, just the urge to control. Maybe I'm wrong.

Scott said...

Barb said:"Get all picky with me!"

It's what I do. :-) Cuz I care. :-)

Family. Boy...Well, Deb and I both know how it can be. Good luck with whatever is going on.

Peace be with you.