On Being Me

Even before Mr. BTEG and I had kids, I had plans to be "the cool mom." I wanted to be the mom all the kids liked, and I wanted to have the home where all the kids wanted to hang out. This has its advantages. You not only have a much clearer picture of what your own children are doing when they are doing things in your home, but you don't have to worry as much about what your kid's friends' parents are like, and what sorts of things they allow in their homes. Plus, I want my children to be able to confide in me, not another mom who appears "cool" but who may have ideas with which I do not agree. I wasn't eager to necessarily be the mom that other kids besides my own came to for advice. I do see worrying tendencies in some of the Equestrienne's friends, but that is a whole other post, if I write it.

After the party we had for the Dancer this past Saturday, however, I have finally become convinced that I do not have the personality to be "the cool mom." I dislike a lot of noise and commotion, and hate sensing that things are out of control, or at least that they are not going the way I had planned. The Dancer had a very nice party. The house was adequately clean ahead of time, the games and favors were planned out and prepared, and the refreshments were acceptable. However, at one point I went into our pantry and shut the door and took a little "time-out" because I was overwhelmed by the noise and exuberance. (Mr. BTEG was still there to supervise.) I also felt incapable at times of being in charge of the group of girls. This same problem has occurred when I have tried to be a teacher, or a Girl Scout leader. I don't feel capable of what I feel is the necessary "command" and firmness when dealing with a group of kids. You can do your own psychoanalysis of me as to why this is so. ;)

However, "knowing is half the battle." I've spent a lot of time with a counselor in the past working on another part of the battle, learning not to think negatively or have distorted thought patterns about myself. So as I let go of being "the cool mom," I can still find ways that do suit me to support my children and their friendships. And make sure I always have back-up at parties!

Follow the Story

I don't know exactly why this unfolding story here in Cleveland strikes me as interesting, except that it shows first impressions are not always the right ones. A house exploded in a Cleveland neighborhood, damaging almost 60 homes. At first, fingers were pointed at the gas company which came out to the building that exploded to turn off the gas a day or two prior. But things have gotten intriguing now that police have revealed that a next-door neighbor who complained about the empty building was convicted twice of arson in another state, and plead guilty once for burning down his house for the insurance money! He is currently being charged with deliberately creating the explosion in this home.

I also wonder what society does with people like this. I hope at least that if this man and his wife had insurance on their current abode, that the insurance company did a background check and was charging an exorbitant fee, although somehow I don't see it. There's no consolation for the many people whose homes suffered damage because of this man's alleged reckless action. I'm wondering if he shouldn't get prison time for life if found guilty. Why trust him again?

Birthday Girl

Today is the Dancer's birthday! This picture is from the days when she was taking gymnastics. After she was found climbing the refrigerator, one foot on either side of the handles, and because she was constantly climbing the shelves to get to the top of the pantry, I knew she needed some outlet for her energy. Later on, she decided she preferred to dance, and she has been ever since.

I'm still convinced she was turning somersaults in the womb, which caused her to move from her head down position, to sideways, thus necessitating a C-section.

Happy birthday, my sweet Dancer!

I've Got the Vapors

Okay, so if it's against regulations to have a gun in an NBA locker room, then the suspension two players received for bringing a gun in was correct. But does that mean people need to be so sensitive to every bit of language that can be used to describe gun use? Even if guns are not allowed in the locker room, the NBA acted to discourage this particular behavior, but that does not mean guns should not be allowed anywhere, ever. So why should language like "not leaving anything in the chamber" be so upsetting? Oooh, even talk about a gun gives us the vapors. Perhaps, just perhaps, people should receive gun training in high school or something so guns are not so "big and scary."

And In the Stupid File...

If you're sending out a mass advertising campaign for your fancy little private school, perhaps you should proofread your material better. Just sayin'.

ETA: Welcome Joanne Jacobs readers!

Born to Rule

That's the title of the book I'm reading right now. It's about five women who had two things in common: they were all reigning consorts, and they were all granddaughters of Queen Victoria. The author explores their childhood relationships with their grandmother, which were generally positive, and their enduring love for England and things English, even if they also learned to love their new homelands.

One of the sad things the book covers is that even though four of these women especially did grow to truly love the land of their reign, they were seen by many in their adopted countries as alien and perhaps even a threat to the welfare of the country. The book brings up something I'd never thought of; not only did many royals marry foreign princes and princesses because of the aspect of royalty marrying royalty, but in those times there was competition among the aristocratic families, for power. Marrying into one specific noble house and giving that family extra influence in court was not a wise idea

Despite their wealth and position, you end up feeling sorry for all of these women. Three of them were cheated on, four saw their thrones lost, the Empress Alexandra and her immediate family were of course eventually assassinated, and all of them for their supposed power as queen/empress really lived very constricted lives. Do you see this as a trade-off for the privileges they did enjoy?

Sad Realities

The Dancer has wanted a pet bunny for years. She has absolutely loved bunnies ever since she was a wee little thing. However, now that she is old enough to deal with the work having this pet would entail, she is torn. Having gone through the pain of losing two of our family pet cats and her sister's two hamsters, she is hesitant to get a beloved animal, only to lose it some years down the road. I feel sad that she has gone through the heartache of losing pets, even though it is part of the realities of life. I suppose someone who has never had a pet wouldn't understand, but it truly was hard looking at the lifeless form of a dear pet and realizing our time of companionship together was over. I still hope she makes the decision to bring another pet into her life to love.