Trapped

I have little to no energy during the day. I get major things done, like dishes, shopping, and driving Mr. BTEG and the girls to where they need to be. Otherwise, I'm a slug. Then, too many late evenings, I am wide awake and full of energy. I'm already taking all of my medications at night, because they can cause drowsiness.

I'm trying to exercise during the day. It's not going very well. Walking bores me to tears, so I have to force myself to do it, and I don't have good shoes to walk in. I am trying to do some ballet, because I actually like that, but my body was complaining, so now I am trying to do stretches beforehand. I feel chunky and awkward doing ballet, even though I find it interesting, but it is not exactly aerobic, either. I used to love to bicycle, but don't have a bike and can't afford a bike, plus it's not practical for a good portion of a year in Ohio anyway. It's not a sufficient excuse, but I don't really have an athletic body. I am not only short, but I have short legs proportionate to my body as well. I feel awkward and funny-looking.

I'm trying to eat better, but it's difficult being such a picky eater. I have to literally force myself to eat a few grapes or some broccoli with dressing or butter. And those are tastes which I can live with. I wonder if my eating affects my energy, but I'm not sure of a correlation. For example, I got no real exercise today and my eating was only so-so, I was blah today but right now my mind is racing and I'm feeling more awake than I have all day.

I'm seeing my psychiatrist soon, so I will talk to her, but I'm not sure what will come of it. The main issue seems to be that I am mostly stable. Other than that, you get told to exercise or handed a pamphlet on healthy eating. I need a little bit of extra help and I'm not sure where to get it.