Sunday, April 03, 2011


I'm having a hard time blogging lately, and I feel at times like just giving it up. The problem is that blogging is one of the few ways I currently have of interacting with the outside world. I've been hesitating about how to write this, because I don't want it to sound like a big Pity Me thing. It's just that I have always found it hard to create real friendships, relationships. I used to think poorly of myself and blame myself for this. Now I wonder if the bipolar is mostly behind it. Becoming more aware of people who are bipolar, at least on the internet, shows that many of them have very few friends, among other things that we have in common.

Oddly enough, my parents did not have a lot of friends either. The people they socialized with the most were a group they had known since they started a "Young Couples' Club" at their church. They were fortunate I suppose in that all the couples stayed intact and in the same area for so many years, even after leaving for other local churches. My mother also is friendly with a former high school classmate, but they had lost track of each other until this classmate became the kindergarten teacher of myself and my sisters. My mother's closest friend all these years is a woman that met my mother at a vacation camp when they were young and single. My father really only seemed to have one friend from his past, and that man sadly killed himself about twenty years ago. Now that I think about it, it's odd that my father didn't keep up any friendships with, for example, people with whom he served in the Navy. Can you believe that only occurred to me while I was writing this?

I've thought about going to bipolar support groups in the area, but never seriously looked into it. I've had bad experiences trying to get involved in groups, and I have to admit I've made excuses about not going without knowing if they are valid, such as location or meeting times. I wonder if I would "click" better with bipolar people?


Scottius Maximus said...


I think about stuff like this a lot also. I used to have a lot of friends growing up and in college even. Now as I've gotten older, I realize I mostly have people I just know, but not friends in the sense that I think you mean.

Don't give up blogging. I've gone through a couple years where I just had nothing to say and thought about giving it up as well, then all of a sudden stuff just comes to mind.

Besides, when the economy collapses, food is scarce and there is no electricity, you won't be able to blog then, so you might as well do it now while you have the chance!

Barb the Evil Genius said...

Yeah, Scottius, you know what I mean by friends. Thanks for the encouragement! And :P about the economy thing! :)

Karen said...


I think that some people are more social than others. My group of friends is small...about 3 women who I get together with every couple of months or so. About 10 years ago, I had many more friends. At this point in my life, I don't have time for friendships. This has led to more depression for me and I finally force myself to spend time with a non-child or husband.

You've had a lot of changes during the last few years. You need for friendships may have changed. I'd really miss your blog if you stop writing. Your thoughts are interesting, well written, and I almost always agree with you. Reading your blog is a high point in my day!

Barb the Evil Genius said...

Karen, thank you for your input! It's true that I am an introvert. Still, like you, I do need to get out every once in a while. Have a lunch date planned with an old college friend at the end of this month. Looking forward to it!