Taking Stock

So the Dancer is officially done with high school, and the Musician is getting married in October! Time to do my own thing is becoming increasingly less scarce. Even though I'm really introverted, I'm still trying to find new ways to get out of the house, that I'll enjoy. I already attend a knit/crochet group once a month, and I'm trying to find people locally who are interested in doll collecting. I like going to baseball games, and it'd be fun to go to a concert once in a while. Neither my husband nor daughters are interested in the same music I am, nor are they interested enough in baseball to swing tickets, for the price.

At the same time, while scanning Google Plus a few days ago, I realized how few of these people online are my actual friends. It was enjoyable having other people to talk to about homeschooling, for example, while I was still doing that. But quite a while back, I realized that during the last period of time when Mr. BTEG and I were especially suffering through a difficult situation, we had absolutely nobody there for us. Our pastor did come and commune us, since Mr. BTEG's health hardly let him leave the house at that time. But it was just Mr. BTEG and I in the day-to-day struggle, me mostly trying to support him and be there for our girls. And now that I have more time to make better friends, even if some of them are still online friends, I don't want to waste thoughts or time or bandwidth on people that I don't have a real relationship with. And with more discretionary income and time, I can focus more on things I've always wanted to try, and maybe make real friends that way too.

This may not become strictly a hobby blog, but I think posting about new things I'm trying, and hopefully new people that I meet, will make for some fun blog posts. I may go back more to posting about current events, if I have a bloggable opinion. Because I like blogging! I've been able to interact and meet with some fun people while I've been writing this blog, and I'm hoping I'll meet more. Next time I blog, it will probably about my lunch date with a friend either in Ohio City or the Tremont neighborhood. I've never been to Tremont, although that neighborhood has been livened up by the development of the Christmas Story House and Museum. Don't know if we'll visit that, but if we do end up in that area, I'll take pictures.

Mother's Day 2016

When my daughters were little, Mother's Day had a certain poignancy, a celebration of a mother's love and care for little beings who were too young to take complete care of themselves. Now that my babies are just about all grown up, it's also a time to look at our relationships with each other. We want to try to remain close to each other, even though we are now three individuals who are scarily alike in some ways, but amazingly different in others. We have misunderstandings, and we frustrate each other sometimes, but we don't want disagreements to drive us apart. The girls' father and I have stresses and sufferings and worry because of them, but our daughters are also their now to share in the difficulties that Mr. BTEG and I encounter. I hope I can give my daughters guidance and encouragement and support as long as I am on this earth, and I hope they remember fondly what I have given them, and are able to give to children of their own.

She Believes That Children Aren't the Future

NakedDC gives yet another example of women who proclaim how wonderful it is not to have children. And in this day and age, you certainly do have control over whether or not you are punished with a child. Just don't turn around and expect my daughters to pay for your Medicare and Social Security. After all, with all that extra money you saved by not burdening yourself with offspring, you had plenty to put away for your future, right?

The Road Ahead

I've been sick all week, which means survival mode. It's also meant I've been unusually depressed. It also means I've been at the computer a lot, which has made me even more depressed. It may not be the best idea for me to be reading so many current event blogs, but I have an insatiable need to know what it is going on. The worst part is feeling like I can't do anything but what I am already doing, which is my vocation of bringing up my daughters, with the help of their father. And maybe that's all that I'm supposed to be doing. I certainly haven't been called to do anything else as of right now, and my motherly duties are expanding. The Dancer is spending more and more of her time at... the dance studio, now that she has started pointe on top of her other classes. The Musician hangs out with friends a great deal and is starting her important senior year in high school this fall. Yikes! I may also have to try my hand at organizing fundraising efforts for my daughters' school activities if a levy does not go through this spring. It's actually very freeing to think about just following my vocation....

Confession Time

I am finally giving in to responding to this article. I really didn't want to, because I'm not going to get anywhere, or change anyone's mind, but I've been turning it over in my mind for awhile, so I'm writing it down here and moving on.

My name is Barb the Evil Genius, and I am a terrible parent. I homeschooled one daughter for five years, and the other for four years. The reason why the Musician was only homeschooled for four years was because she was fighting my attempts to homeschool her, and we put her into an online school for a year, rather than put her in a school district that we were planning on leaving in a year.

Now both daughters are in public school, happy and doing well. This obviously means that I am a poor parent, since even after many years of homeschooling, my daughters prefer being smothered and subjugated in a public school. They enjoy being around, and learning with, large groups of their peers, even though many of the peers are sometimes unkind, selfish, lying, thieving, have emotional issues, do drugs and sleep around. To be honest, my girls can be thoughtless, tactless, selfish, and lose their tempers. My youngest occasionally resists the urge to inflict bodily harm on her classmates when she finds their stupidity frustrating (what can I say, she's my little girl,) and yet she prefers public school to homeschooling. This makes me a terrible parent. They should prefer being at home with just the other sister, and having the one-on-one interaction with me as their teacher.

When my daughters were homeschooled, they were not intrigued to find out how birds built their nests, nor interested in becoming Mozart-like composers, learning open-heart surgery, or welding a scale-model Eiffel Tower in the garage. If given the opportunity, my daughters would spend a great deal of their time surfing My Little Pony memes on the internet and playing Super Paper Mario. This obviously makes me a poor parent.

My youngest daughter takes medication for her ADHD. This is to help her concentrate on her work, sit still and be quiet. Definitely I am in the poor mom category here. ADD and ADHD are just made up labels to force brainwashed children to mindlessly behave in a stifling system. My daughter would learn so much more if she was homeschooled. Talking non-stop and doing cartwheels through the backyard to work off her energy would serve her so much better. At least she could concentrate while she was playing Super Paper Mario.

So when you hear, "You can homeschool your kids too! Public school is always the worst choice!", just remember, that is only true if you are a good mom. My name is Barb the Evil Genius, and I am not a good mom.