Twenty-Five Years Ago Today

For Better or Worse

It's interesting that the whole idea of marriage is coming up for me now, as Mr. BTEG and I will be celebrating our twentieth wedding anniversary this Wednesday. By the world's standards, we apparently married shockingly young: I was a month short of 25, and Mr. BTEG had recently turned 23. I would have liked to marry sooner; Mr. BTEG and I had been officially engaged for about a year and a half by then, and unofficially engaged for longer than that. But we waited until Mr. BTEG was through with college (and getting married while in college could be a whole other topic.)

Well, one advantage to marrying younger is having children younger. I think the difficulties of conceiving the older you get are getting swept under the rug in view of things like IVF or even surrogates. But those aren't easy or guaranteed, so I wouldn't advise depending on them. Of course, some people unfortunately cannot conceive at all, and I know that brings deep pain. But if you can, why not have children younger, when you have more energy and can bounce back quicker? In my case, neither of my pregnancies were easy, nor were my deliveries. My youngest ended up being an emergency C-section, and I'm sure recovering from that was much easier at 30 than it would have been at 35.

Being married didn't hinder Mr. BTEG's career, either. We knew we didn't want to live in a big metropolitan area like New York, Chicago or LA, but Cleveland and Columbus were just the right sizes to offer him many choices in IT anyway. I'll admit that me being a stay-at-home wife/mother for most of our marriage made it easier to move to different locations, but I would have had job opportunities as well. And IT guys typically move around quite a bit, so even at thirty Mr. BTEG was not completely settled down at the company he was going to work at for the rest of his life. How many people even do that anymore?

Of course, if one of us had wanted a career that involved more schooling, that would have made things harder. But unless you have wealthy parents or a sugar daddy (don't get me started on that) you have to feed, clothe and house yourself while you are getting more schooling anyway. If you've met the right person, why spend more money living apart?

And there is the crux of the matter for me: if you have met the right person. Mr. BTEG and I knew that we were right for each other, and that we wanted to be married. Our choices were: live together, live separately but keep seeing each other until we hit the "magic" age of 30, keep shopping the dating market and hope we found someone else we wanted to marry when we were older, look each other up again when we were both older and hope that we were still single, or... make a commitment to marry and deal with problems and changes and difficulties together. I will admit, Mr. BTEG has taught me a lot about commitment no matter what. Perhaps some of that is because I am a child of divorced parents, perhaps some of that is my mental instability. But I knew going into marriage that it should be for a lifetime, and I still think that after twenty years. It's incredibly freeing to have the stability and comfort of such a long relationship, and I recommend it. :)

Can't Wait to Be Done

I'm glad that the suggestion for students in the United States to go to school year-round has never gotten much momentum, because I really need a break. A long break. And it's not even like we're going to be sitting around all summer. The girls have another Higher Things conference, the Dancer will be taking several classes for the six week summer dance season, the Musician has gotten a job working with the high school theatrical tech crew and of course she will be involved in marching band. Mr. BTEG and I will be taking a short trip to celebrate our twentieth wedding anniversary. But the pace will be so much more laid back and relaxed, and I need that. I'm so sick of just about everything, and I'm hoping to refreshed and ready to start "normal" life again in the fall.

Time Keeps Moving On

17 years ago today!

Belated

Too tired after the game to post and put pictures up. Sorry Scottius.

For now I will just put up this picture from our wedding that took place sixteen years ago, yesterday. We celebrated quietly.

My Husband

Fourteen years ago today, my husband and I were married. It's meant so much to me to have his strong support and love. We've built a wonderful life together, with our two beautiful daughters. Happy Anniversary, dear.

Happy Friday the 13th!

Anyone else out here a 13th baby? Well, I suspect Lutheran Lucy is. :) Anyway, my husband and both have birthdays on the 13th of a month, two months apart. We wanted to get married on June 13th, directly in between our birthdays, but Leap Year messed it up, so we got married on June 12th instead. I believe I turned 13 on a Friday the 13th!

Although I gave the girls off of "school" this week for the most part, I've been busy, doing some sewing and cleaning up my sewing room. I finished two shirts for the Scientist yesterday. I suspect she'll wear the Pooh one as a pajama top, but that's okay, she needs new pajamas too.

I may be getting an old pattern file from a sewing store in Youngstown, OH, that is going out of business. Woo hoo! No more stacked up cardboard boxes, if my brother-in-law was able to snag one for me.

Speaking of kids being off from school, does anyone else think it's a shame that so many kids today seem to spend their vacation holed up in day care anyway? I mean, I know a lot of moms have to work, and all that. But still, it seems sad that so many kids spend their time at school, or in some sort of day care/"camp" program. My girls love being able to be home and play with their toys, or play a video game, or ride their bikes or putz around the yard.

Out of the Past

The Chaplain wrote about his engagement anniversary yesterday; today is the anniversary of my husband's and my engagement. This picture, however, is from exactly one week before, at my sister-in-law's wedding. We held off getting "offically" engaged until after this wedding, so as not to take attention away from my sister-in-law and her husband. This, however, did not keep lots of guests at the wedding from speculating about when our own marriage would be. I was even welcomed to the family by Gino's step-aunt's ex-husband's nephew.

On Oct. 19, 1991, I went to the homecoming dance at my former college, where my husband was a senior (I robbed the cradle.) I was wearing the same green dress and shoes as in the picture above (so I re-used a bridesmaid dress!) We had a yummy dinner, and when he presented me with my corsage, there was a diamond ring on one of the flowers. And here we are fifteen years later, still happy to be together. Tonight my husband gave me a red rose, and we had a dinner very similar to the candlelit meal we had in my husband's dorm room fifteen years ago, right down to the fudge cake from Entenmann's. How sweet!

13 Years Ago Today

my husband and I got married! It's been a typical journey since then, I suppose, full of ups and downs, but I'm still glad I started it with my darling husband, and glad to still be traveling together. God willing, we will have many more good years to enjoy ahead of us.

It's Been a Bad Week

I don't know why, but I've been down, out of sorts, unhappy, slightly cranky for a number of days now. But my husband knows how to make me feel better.











He assures me that I am a princess too, but the crown cookie went to HRH Princess Wildchild. The Scientist got the flowers. She likes flowers and butterflies.









This was my special cookie. I'm sure at least some of you will like it too. :)









And he also caved and gave me my anniversary gift early. We are terrible about giving each other our gifts early. We can't wait! Did anyone else love Holly Hobbie as a child? I never had the toys back then, but thanks to the miracle of eBay, I do now! Maybe sometime I'll share a pic. But this is modern Holly Hobbie, and her brother Robby. They're very cute.